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yume_to_ameTitle: Your voice, frozen in the wind, surrounds me like snow petals Chapter 3 (of 12)
Pairing: KameRyo, other guest appearances
Rating: PG-13 (for this chapter)
Genre: AU, romance, bit angst (like in every romance story), It might be the hurt&comfort type of fic
Multi-chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related. But the story is mine of course^^
Summary: Being a privileged boy out of a rich family doesn’t mean you get more love. Kame knows that just too well. All day long he fights against this monster called loneliness, until a new boy joins his class. He is coming out of a different background and just as lonely as he is.
Kame fights against the feelings that are awakening inside him, not able to trust anyone around him. But then he starts to get strange anonymous messages, his heart warming up towards a person he doesn’t even know…and to this strange boy in his class.
Dedicated to: sweetspicyhot. As a belated birthday present! I really really hope you will like this, my friend!
“You are late,” Yoko tried to sound reproachful but couldn’t help an affectionate tune.
Ryo pulled his shoulders tight, tensing up a bit. But when he felt Yoko’s warm arms hugging him, he sighed in relief.
“What?” Yoko asked softly. “Are you still so wary around me?”
“Sorry,” Ryo mumbled.
Yoko smiled warmly. “No need to be afraid. I’m your big brother after all…”
Ryo had to chuckle at that. “No you aren’t.”
“But I’m something like that, right?” Yoko asked, hoping for Ryo to answer with a ‘yes’. He wanted to be there for him, to protect him. Since the first day they had met, Yoko had promised this to himself. He would become a brother for Ryo, someone he could lean on to.
Ryo nodded his head. “You are my older brother, I guess. Just not by blood.”
Yoko beamed happily at that answer, but he tried to hide his joy. He was a cool older brother after all, being hyper would be out of place. “Let’s eat something, okay? Most of the other boys already ate, some of them made sushi today. Want some too?”
“With fish?” Ryo asked carefully.
“We can make it without if you want to,” Yoko smiled.
“Okay.” Ryo took his bag and hurried to his room. He nodded towards some of the other boys before he slipped into his own room, glad that the kids his age already had their own space unlike the younger ones. The younger boys were sleeping in rooms for 4 or 6. It was more bothersome. Ryo liked it to have his privacy and his space for himself. He ignored the glances of the other boys when he passed them again. He knew he was a loner and he knew that the others didn’t really understand him. But over the years they had learned to accept it. He wasn’t teased or bullied, especially not since Yoko was watching out for him. Because most of them were afraid of Yoko. Ryo couldn’t understand that, because for him Yoko was the kindest person on earth, the only person he really trusted.
“Here you are,” Yoko smiled a bit. “I already prepared the rice. Can you finish it while I get some ingredients?”
“Sure,” Ryo nodded his head, eagerly working on the task Yoko had given him. For a moment he even forgot the incidents at school. These idiots that wanted to bully him, pathetic bunch of guys. Over the years he had learned how to treat scum like them. He frowned when he thought about his threat towards them… Would he have jumped? He winced a bit. He didn’t know if he would have jumped, hadn’t they backed off. He couldn’t answer this question. And it made him feel scared, these dark sides inside him. He couldn’t deny that he was about to let himself drop down into this dark hole in front of him. Was that normal? Why wasn’t he fighting for his happiness?
******
“Kazuya?”
Kame looked up from his book, smiling a bit when he saw a well-known person in front of him. “Yes, Fuma-san?”
The old woman smiled warmly. “Are you busy? Or do you have time to help me?”
Kame put his book aside, standing up to walk to her side. He knew her since he was a baby, she had always been more like a mother towards him than his real mother. She was like his grandmother, though she was actually only his governess or rather: the woman keeping the household together.
“Here.” She handed Kame a basket full of clothes. “These are some of our old clothes, things none of us is wearing anymore. I will take some of mine and your mother’s to the women’s association tomorrow. But yours and your father’s we could drop by at the orphanage. They always are short on money and are happy about everything they get.”
Kame nodded his head. “True, and they are good clothes.”
“You are right,” Fuma-san smiled. “The kids will be happy. Here are some of your older clothes. Is it okay to give these away? Maybe you want to take a look at them.”
Kame shook his head. He didn’t care at all about clothes and he didn’t cling to any of his so-called favourite pieces. “No, I’m sure it’s okay.”
“Could you drop by at the orphanage later?” she asked friendly. “I know you want to go for a walk at afternoon.”
Kame tried to hide the wary look in his eyes, hoping that she wouldn’t see it. Sunday afternoon was always the time when Fuma-san had her time off and would meet friends and go after personal business. Hence he was alone. And when she was gone, there was no warmth at all around him anymore. So he just nodded his head. “Sure, I’ll take the clothes along.”
******
Kame’s hands were gliding over the pages of the note-book warily. He stared at the sentence in front of him. Since the last time there hadn’t been any new lines. The last one was still there: Why do I have to live in such a world all alone?
Kame rubbed his temples nervously. What should he do? Answer? He sighed. Answering meant intervening into someone’s business, but on the other side he didn’t know who the other person was, so there was still some distance, right?
Kame angled for the pen, biting his lips nervously. Then he simply decided to be honest. Isn’t there always at least one thing that’s worth the struggle?
He closed the book before he could cross out his answer again. He had decided to answer, so no stepping back. That wasn’t how he did things. If he decided something, he had to try it honestly and not just half-heartedly.
This evening he came back late. Actually he was supposed to be scolded. Staying out so late during such a cold time of the year, all alone and without telling anyone where he had been, this was a no-go in most families.
But his father just looked up from his newspaper, smiling at Kame casually. “Kazuya, you are home already?”
Kame tensed up a bit, then he nodded his head. “Yeah,” he mumbled.
“Had a nice time?”
“Yes.”
No questions, no reproaches, no scolding, no real warmth, no interest. It was always like that at home. It wasn’t personal. Kame could have just been a random boy living in this house, not a son. Did he feel loved?
No, unfortunately not.
******
“You shouldn’t eat so many sweets,” Uchi complained when Jin nibbled at a chocolate bar.
Jin paused for a moment, then he grinned at Uchi teasingly. “You have to complain, really. That’s almost fun.”
“What?” Uchi blushed. “Do you think I’m fat?” He looked around in panic. “Am I fat?” he asked Yamapi in shock.
Yamapi sighed. “Uchi…”
“That’s not an answer,” Uchi complained, he turned his attention away from his friends, eyeing the first person that passed him. “Hey, Ryo-kun. I’m not fat, right?”
Ryo paused, obviously surprised that one of these guys talked to him. He looked at Uchi and the others through his dark eyes, scanning them properly. These guys were just so careless, not fearing anything, not worrying at all. For Ryo they were almost an offence. None of them actually did have problems.
Jin and Jun shifted around a bit. They always felt uncomfortable around Ryo and his gloomy aura. The intensity of his eyes was making them nervous, but to their relief at least Uchi felt unaffected, because he was still looking at Ryo expectantly.
Ryo sighed a bit. “You are okay the way you are,” he finally answered, before he walked towards his place, sitting down there.
Uchi frowned, not sure if he should feel content or angry now. “What did he mean?” he asked the others. “Am I too fat or not?”
“Oh dear,” Jun sighed in annoyance.
“What?” Kame blinked in confusion when he approached them. He had been a bit late that day and just arrived at school. Now he looked at his friends in slight interest. “What happened?”
“Jin said I’m too fat,” Uchi complained.
“I didn’t say such a thing,” Jin grinned.
“And then I asked Ryo-kun about his opinion,” Uchi ignored Jin and continued his story. “And he gave me some sort of cryptic answer.”
Kame blinked in surprise, something in his stomach tugging when he heard Ryo’s name. He turned his head a bit to look at so-said boy, scanning him properly. His hair was a little mess, as usual. He looked cute, as usual. The blue sweater he was wearing fit him almost perfectly, for once his clothes weren’t too big. He looked handsome.
Kame frowned out of a sudden. Wait! The blue sweater… he stared at it in disbelief. This sweater was his. Or rather: It had been his!
These are some of our old clothes, things none of us is wearing this anymore. Yours and your father’s we could drop by at the orphanage.
Kame blinked in surprise. An orphan?
******
Note: Dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support <3 To thank you I opened up a Request Post. If you feel like requesting a one-shot with a specific pairing or situation you can do so HERE.
Pairing: KameRyo, other guest appearances
Rating: PG-13 (for this chapter)
Genre: AU, romance, bit angst (like in every romance story), It might be the hurt&comfort type of fic
Multi-chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related. But the story is mine of course^^
Summary: Being a privileged boy out of a rich family doesn’t mean you get more love. Kame knows that just too well. All day long he fights against this monster called loneliness, until a new boy joins his class. He is coming out of a different background and just as lonely as he is.
Kame fights against the feelings that are awakening inside him, not able to trust anyone around him. But then he starts to get strange anonymous messages, his heart warming up towards a person he doesn’t even know…and to this strange boy in his class.
Dedicated to: sweetspicyhot. As a belated birthday present! I really really hope you will like this, my friend!
“You are late,” Yoko tried to sound reproachful but couldn’t help an affectionate tune.
Ryo pulled his shoulders tight, tensing up a bit. But when he felt Yoko’s warm arms hugging him, he sighed in relief.
“What?” Yoko asked softly. “Are you still so wary around me?”
“Sorry,” Ryo mumbled.
Yoko smiled warmly. “No need to be afraid. I’m your big brother after all…”
Ryo had to chuckle at that. “No you aren’t.”
“But I’m something like that, right?” Yoko asked, hoping for Ryo to answer with a ‘yes’. He wanted to be there for him, to protect him. Since the first day they had met, Yoko had promised this to himself. He would become a brother for Ryo, someone he could lean on to.
Ryo nodded his head. “You are my older brother, I guess. Just not by blood.”
Yoko beamed happily at that answer, but he tried to hide his joy. He was a cool older brother after all, being hyper would be out of place. “Let’s eat something, okay? Most of the other boys already ate, some of them made sushi today. Want some too?”
“With fish?” Ryo asked carefully.
“We can make it without if you want to,” Yoko smiled.
“Okay.” Ryo took his bag and hurried to his room. He nodded towards some of the other boys before he slipped into his own room, glad that the kids his age already had their own space unlike the younger ones. The younger boys were sleeping in rooms for 4 or 6. It was more bothersome. Ryo liked it to have his privacy and his space for himself. He ignored the glances of the other boys when he passed them again. He knew he was a loner and he knew that the others didn’t really understand him. But over the years they had learned to accept it. He wasn’t teased or bullied, especially not since Yoko was watching out for him. Because most of them were afraid of Yoko. Ryo couldn’t understand that, because for him Yoko was the kindest person on earth, the only person he really trusted.
“Here you are,” Yoko smiled a bit. “I already prepared the rice. Can you finish it while I get some ingredients?”
“Sure,” Ryo nodded his head, eagerly working on the task Yoko had given him. For a moment he even forgot the incidents at school. These idiots that wanted to bully him, pathetic bunch of guys. Over the years he had learned how to treat scum like them. He frowned when he thought about his threat towards them… Would he have jumped? He winced a bit. He didn’t know if he would have jumped, hadn’t they backed off. He couldn’t answer this question. And it made him feel scared, these dark sides inside him. He couldn’t deny that he was about to let himself drop down into this dark hole in front of him. Was that normal? Why wasn’t he fighting for his happiness?
******
“Kazuya?”
Kame looked up from his book, smiling a bit when he saw a well-known person in front of him. “Yes, Fuma-san?”
The old woman smiled warmly. “Are you busy? Or do you have time to help me?”
Kame put his book aside, standing up to walk to her side. He knew her since he was a baby, she had always been more like a mother towards him than his real mother. She was like his grandmother, though she was actually only his governess or rather: the woman keeping the household together.
“Here.” She handed Kame a basket full of clothes. “These are some of our old clothes, things none of us is wearing anymore. I will take some of mine and your mother’s to the women’s association tomorrow. But yours and your father’s we could drop by at the orphanage. They always are short on money and are happy about everything they get.”
Kame nodded his head. “True, and they are good clothes.”
“You are right,” Fuma-san smiled. “The kids will be happy. Here are some of your older clothes. Is it okay to give these away? Maybe you want to take a look at them.”
Kame shook his head. He didn’t care at all about clothes and he didn’t cling to any of his so-called favourite pieces. “No, I’m sure it’s okay.”
“Could you drop by at the orphanage later?” she asked friendly. “I know you want to go for a walk at afternoon.”
Kame tried to hide the wary look in his eyes, hoping that she wouldn’t see it. Sunday afternoon was always the time when Fuma-san had her time off and would meet friends and go after personal business. Hence he was alone. And when she was gone, there was no warmth at all around him anymore. So he just nodded his head. “Sure, I’ll take the clothes along.”
******
Kame’s hands were gliding over the pages of the note-book warily. He stared at the sentence in front of him. Since the last time there hadn’t been any new lines. The last one was still there: Why do I have to live in such a world all alone?
Kame rubbed his temples nervously. What should he do? Answer? He sighed. Answering meant intervening into someone’s business, but on the other side he didn’t know who the other person was, so there was still some distance, right?
Kame angled for the pen, biting his lips nervously. Then he simply decided to be honest. Isn’t there always at least one thing that’s worth the struggle?
He closed the book before he could cross out his answer again. He had decided to answer, so no stepping back. That wasn’t how he did things. If he decided something, he had to try it honestly and not just half-heartedly.
This evening he came back late. Actually he was supposed to be scolded. Staying out so late during such a cold time of the year, all alone and without telling anyone where he had been, this was a no-go in most families.
But his father just looked up from his newspaper, smiling at Kame casually. “Kazuya, you are home already?”
Kame tensed up a bit, then he nodded his head. “Yeah,” he mumbled.
“Had a nice time?”
“Yes.”
No questions, no reproaches, no scolding, no real warmth, no interest. It was always like that at home. It wasn’t personal. Kame could have just been a random boy living in this house, not a son. Did he feel loved?
No, unfortunately not.
******
“You shouldn’t eat so many sweets,” Uchi complained when Jin nibbled at a chocolate bar.
Jin paused for a moment, then he grinned at Uchi teasingly. “You have to complain, really. That’s almost fun.”
“What?” Uchi blushed. “Do you think I’m fat?” He looked around in panic. “Am I fat?” he asked Yamapi in shock.
Yamapi sighed. “Uchi…”
“That’s not an answer,” Uchi complained, he turned his attention away from his friends, eyeing the first person that passed him. “Hey, Ryo-kun. I’m not fat, right?”
Ryo paused, obviously surprised that one of these guys talked to him. He looked at Uchi and the others through his dark eyes, scanning them properly. These guys were just so careless, not fearing anything, not worrying at all. For Ryo they were almost an offence. None of them actually did have problems.
Jin and Jun shifted around a bit. They always felt uncomfortable around Ryo and his gloomy aura. The intensity of his eyes was making them nervous, but to their relief at least Uchi felt unaffected, because he was still looking at Ryo expectantly.
Ryo sighed a bit. “You are okay the way you are,” he finally answered, before he walked towards his place, sitting down there.
Uchi frowned, not sure if he should feel content or angry now. “What did he mean?” he asked the others. “Am I too fat or not?”
“Oh dear,” Jun sighed in annoyance.
“What?” Kame blinked in confusion when he approached them. He had been a bit late that day and just arrived at school. Now he looked at his friends in slight interest. “What happened?”
“Jin said I’m too fat,” Uchi complained.
“I didn’t say such a thing,” Jin grinned.
“And then I asked Ryo-kun about his opinion,” Uchi ignored Jin and continued his story. “And he gave me some sort of cryptic answer.”
Kame blinked in surprise, something in his stomach tugging when he heard Ryo’s name. He turned his head a bit to look at so-said boy, scanning him properly. His hair was a little mess, as usual. He looked cute, as usual. The blue sweater he was wearing fit him almost perfectly, for once his clothes weren’t too big. He looked handsome.
Kame frowned out of a sudden. Wait! The blue sweater… he stared at it in disbelief. This sweater was his. Or rather: It had been his!
These are some of our old clothes, things none of us is wearing this anymore. Yours and your father’s we could drop by at the orphanage.
Kame blinked in surprise. An orphan?
******
Note: Dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support <3 To thank you I opened up a Request Post. If you feel like requesting a one-shot with a specific pairing or situation you can do so HERE.
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no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 01:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 05:04 am (UTC)i love this little trick here with the blue sweater--you worked it in seamlessly. Now I wonder what Kame will do with his new found knowledge.:D Can't wait for the next.
Oh and Jin---how can Uchi ever be fat? I love Ryo's response here "You are okay the way you are.":D
Hugs to you my friend.
no subject
Date: 2012-07-19 07:34 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it <3
I was unsure about who to choose for Ryo's Senpai/brother and I was torn between Hina, Yoko and Takki. I went for Yoko, because I haven't written him in quite some time. And I wasn't sure if you would like Hina much, so...
Right, Uchi is not fat <3
*huggles*
no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 02:32 pm (UTC)Hahaha, I LOL-ed when Kame frowned at Ryo's clothes... and not because such thoughts as "He looked cute, as always" "He looked handsome", haha!
Ehh, he knows it now ><
What will happen? ><
Thanks for sharing ^^
no subject
Date: 2012-07-15 07:22 am (UTC)*g* I agree, Kame. He might be developing a liking. ^^
But you are right, now he knows...
no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-15 07:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 04:12 pm (UTC)This fic getting interesting ^^ I like it. Sadness as orphan n sadness as rich n busy family really emotional ^_^ Nice!
Thank U 4 sharing =)
no subject
Date: 2012-07-16 06:58 am (UTC)You are right, Uchi is lovely as he is <3 No need to change!!
no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-16 07:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-14 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-07-16 09:23 pm (UTC)Waiting.... waiting....
no subject
Date: 2012-07-18 11:12 am (UTC)You are right, now that Kame knows quite some things might change.
I'm loving your questions - actually they are really important ones <3
no subject
Date: 2012-07-17 10:45 am (UTC)Ryo doesn't have real parents. D: But oh dear, the teenage reactions. XDDDD Ryo is funny, though. ^^
I wish Kame would show some more emotions. T_T It must be really hard to live in such a family. All the more I'm wondering why he doesn't seek love from other people, I'm sure there are some who are very willing to give it.
Ryo doesn't have real parents. D: But oh dear, the teenage reactions. XDDDD Ryo is funny, though. ^^
I wish Kame would show some more emotions. T_T It must be really hard to live in such a family. All the more I'm wondering why he doesn't seek love from other people, I'm sure there are some who are very willing to give it. <o.o> I would snuggle him all day. XDDD Now there is this woman, who is obviously taking care of him. And what do you know, he's a kind guy. ^^
Surprisingly, Kame seems to be looking for something. This is new, at least from how I've seen him. Something to hold onto... The question is, does he have such a thing, or is he looking for it, as in "there has to be somethig worth living for"? There can be an interesting development here.
LOLZ at the weight discussion. XDDD
But really, I WISH they grew fat - I doubt it's gonna happen. ^_~
Very cool update. Thanks so much for sharing! <3
no subject
Date: 2012-07-19 11:12 am (UTC)Yes, Ryo's an orphan, but at least he has Yoko.
And, LOL, totally teenage-like reactions :D
Kame is caught in this dark mood and this loneliness. He keeps everyone on distance because of that.
Well, but we'll see what's going to happen with him ^^
I know! They could gain some weight, really ^^
Thanks so much for reading <3 <3 <3 <3
no subject
Date: 2012-07-21 09:22 am (UTC)It's bittersweet that Kame, who has a family is totally broken, and Ryo who has no family, has something like a family with Yoko. It's not exactly a family, but he has a person he can trust, and someone who is there for him, when he needs something. <3
Yoko is such a sweetheart, really. <3 He so cares about Ryo, that's so sweet. YokoRyo brotherly relationship - thumbs up!!!
Oh, Ryo has the sweatshirt which belonged to Kame...now he will know where Ryo is living. But maybe it's a chance for them to get in contact with each other?! I hope so. ^^
You know, even though Ryo should be the poor boy, who I pity, I don't. He has something like a warm arua around him. Does that sound stupid?! He may has his problem, because he has no family, but he doesn't seem to be as desperate as Kame is. Maybe because Kame has everything, but it doesn't make him happy, and Ryo doesn't have it, but he learned to live with the things he has?! Does that sound coherent?!
Uchi....Uchi.....he brings some fluff into this. *lol* No, Uchi you aren't fat. *lol* Poor him. ^^ He and Jin really are the perfect couple. ^^ I have the feeling that Uchi is allowed to go on Jin's nerves. *lol* And Ryo's answer is major-cuteness. ^^
The thing with the notes is such a great idea. It's like Kame warms up to someone he doesn't even know. Maybe he finds someone he can trust?! Even though he doesn't know the "author" by now. I have the feeling Kame is in this circle of friends, and he likes Jin, Jun and Uchi, but he isn't really a part of them. He is always one step outside. That's really sad. (I don't think that's the others fault, but Kame's. He doesn't want to be a real part of them. He wants to stay outside. :( )
I hope Ryo can change this. <3 And I hope Yoko is going on Ryo's nerves *looooool*
Thanks sooo much for this update, I totally love that story.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2012-07-23 04:25 pm (UTC)This is finally a story I feel a bit more confident about. FINALLY :D
Yes, now Kame found out a few things. So, what will happen now? ^^
Kame is a lonely kid. You are right, he has all the things others dream of, but he is lonely. And Ryo, who has lost everything, at least has one important thing: Yoko, who is like his brother. Someone who is caring and watching out for him. For Ryo Yoko is the warmth in his life.
LOL, I know, Uchi :D Poor him, I need to write him cool and sexy once ^^
And I hope Yoko is going on Ryo's nerves *looooool*
Believe me, he will :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Thanks so much for your amazing comment!! <3
So happy you like this <3
no subject
Date: 2012-09-02 12:13 pm (UTC)i really adore yoko for being the annoying but really caring big brother to ryo. i think he sees right through the kid really well that's why he can't not take in control of him- at least know what's up or what's bothering him. he's really kind and although ryo's a bit closed, i know he appreciated yoko just as much.
so yep. kame's gonna know now. right? i really pity kame. maybe it's one thing that he doens't feel loved. but it is another thing when his parents REALLY doesn't seem to care about him. getting kame's point of view might not be enough for me to accept his sulking but now i really see and feel how his parents doesn't seem to care that much. that's pretty sad. i hope this gets fixed cause it'll only end up hurting and breaking kame, right? and of course, his relationships with the other people as well. cause like at the moment, he's also the type of person "who doesn't care". maybe he learned that from his parents.
i am glad that ryo is having some interaction with jin's company here. it's slowly putting him inside the circle, right? well, he's not that bad after all. i think the guys like him, too. and as for kame... i wonder if realizing now that ryo's actually an orphan gives him that sense of connection and all. and of course, if he's going to be nicer to ryo or at least nice with the way he thinks about him.
thanks for this chapter, dear. i really enjoy reading this story. it's angsty so i like it so much more :) thanks, really.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2012-09-05 11:56 am (UTC)I'll try to update this soon, so that you will have a bit distraction for the next days. <3
You are right, Yoko is like Ryo's caring older brother - he gets on his nerves occasionally, but he watches out for him and is his family. Kame on the other side feels alone and left alone by his parents.
Ryo is still closed and he doesn't trust someone easily. Let's see what Kame will do ^^
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, dear! *hugstight*