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yume_to_ameTitle: The taming of the shrew: Chapter 1
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
little_kirin
Genre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^
Recently, when Jun looks in the mirror he doesn’t quite understand the man who is looking back at him. He wonders where his weird behaviour comes from. It’s never been like that before… He has never been like that. Of course he has his issues and a slight temper, always had them, but he has never wanted to deliberately hurt someone with words. He had a few relationships and during none of them he was such an annoying prick like he is with Sho. It drives him nuts to know how easily irritated he gets, and how he can’t stop himself from getting into all those arguments. The man looking back at him in the mirror is a mystery to him.
“I can’t believe you!” Jun huffs in disbelief. “I’ve cancelled all my appointments today, just so we could meet and you tell me last minute that you have work!?”
Sho sighs, like it wasn’t him who messed up. “I told you I’m sorry. I can’t change it, really. Don’t make a drama out of this Jun-san.”
The fuck with this idiot. “You know what,” Jun hisses. “Do whatever you want. I’m going to have dinner in that restaurant!”
Sho frowns. “With whom?”
“Are you even serious?” Jun blurts out. “You are the one who cancels last minute and then you want me to stay alone at home?”
“That’s not what I said!” Sho gives in to his anger too, and yells back. “I’m sorry I don’t like my boyfriend to meet someone else.”
“Oh, so I am your boyfriend all of a sudden? It’s weird how you beat around the bush on other occasions concerning that topic.”
“You can be such an annoying diva, Jun.”
“You didn’t just say that!” Jun crosses his arms in front of his body. “I tell you what, I’m so going out tonight!” To be honest, he originally just wanted to go to the next konbini and grab something to eat, then come home, invite Nino over and just go on a two-hour rant about how stupid Sho is (normally the perfect chance for Nino to join his rant, just that it includes Aiba rather than Sho). But with the way their talk developed he just wants to shove it right into Sho’s face that he is going to have fun tonight.
“And with who?” Sho asks, his voice biting sarcastically.
“Well, Riida is alone at home. I’m just going to pick him up. He is nicer than you anyway!” Sho winces slightly, and Jun takes that moment of speechlessness to stomp off. Okay, that was a low blow, a really low one, he has to admit as much. You never drag your friends into your drama, that’s for sure, and until now Jun has very much lived up to his own rule. Well, he did… until he got together with Sho. He loses his cool, each and every time they argue.
Sometimes he doesn't get why he reacts so strongly. It’s like he doesn’t understand himself anymore. Like he is a different person.
~~~
Ohno is surprised to see him in front of his apartment, but doesn’t question it much when Jun invites him out for food and mojitos.
He gets completely spent with Ohno that night, while he lets of steam and shares probably too many of his private problems. Stupid mojitos. The next day Ohno hands him a business card with the name of a therapist. A certain Toshida-sensei, around 45 years old, married. Focus on couples and love issues.
“You are seeing a therapist?” Jun asks in surprise. “I didn’t know you were feeling so bad.”
“Well.” Ohno shrugs casually and helps Jun prepare some hangover-food. “I met him when I went fishing a year ago. He loves the sea too, and at that time I was going through some emotional troubles. So, while we had our boats next to each other and were fishing, I talked to me. Our first therapy session.” He chuckles. “What I want to say is: I’m not feeling bad. But sometimes when the stress gets too much it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Even Aiba-kun visits one.”
“But-“
“See it as a fancy accessory,” Ohno says happily. “You have someone to clean your apartment, and someone to pick you up for jobs further away, someone responsible for your schedule, why not also have someone who is there when we need some emotional support? It just so happens that Toshida-sensei is a super-casual and cool guy, so don’t freak out. I think it would be good for you to talk with him about Sho.”
Ohno’s casual approaches have always triggered something in Jun and he promises to think about it. He still believes he doesn’t need a freaking therapist though, but the same night he dreams of Sho, and how he sucks him off, and Sho yells his name. I love you. Sho would never say something like that. In general Jun isn’t even certain what Sho really feels for him.
Okay, the hell with it. He sets an appointment with Toshida-sensei.
~~~
Monday, 7PM, first meeting
“I can’t believe that I’m the one sitting here now,” Jun rubs his face with his fingers, sighing deeply. “It’s all Ohno-san’s fault. He told me to talk to someone and gave me your number. Didn’t know he was a regular here too. But why do I have to talk, when he doesn’t?”
“You mean Ohno-san?” The man, approximately 45 to 50 years old, pretty tall, and sitting in front of him, is wearing simple jeans and a canary-yellow shirt that made Jun almost run away in shock. His skin his sun-burnt, he probably is outside a lot, and there are wrinkles around his lips. And he smiles, always seems to smile. Jun was actually surprised when he saw him, he thought the atmosphere would be much more sterile than it actually is.
“No.” Jun shakes his head. “I mean Sho-san.”
“And Sho-san is your…?”
“Partner…” Jun frowns “I guess.”
“I see.” The man nods patiently. Then his fingers tab against the desk, before he smiles softly. It’s almost sweet how there are wrinkles around his eyes, when he does so. “You don’t seem to be comfortable here, Matsumoto-san. So, why don’t we move away from my study and into the living room?” he suggests with this friendly grandfather-tone, which Jun slowly begins to fear. It’s the typical casual approach that’s probably going to make him spill too much information. Ohno has that too, this certain grandfather-vibe.
“Is that really okay?” Jun asks. But apparently it is, because the other just nods and smiles, and Jun follows him into his living room. It’s cosy there, not as fancy as in Jun's apartment, but it’s obviously made to make others feel comfortable immediately. Ten minutes later there is music coming from the radio in the background, and Jun has some coffee and a piece of cake in front of him.
“So, what is going on with this Sho-san?” Toshida asks now, biting into a piece of cake himself.
“Well, basically...” Jun tilts his head. “We are together, I guess.”
“Hm,” Toshida hums. “You have made each of your statements concerning this Sho-san very vague, Matsumoto-san. You said words like I guess each time.”
Jun blinks. “I do?” He pauses. “I mean, I did?”
“Are you his partner?” Toshida asks in return.
Jun blushes.
“You guess?” Toshida asks before Jun can answer, and Jun nods. “Let me rephrase my question then: Do you live together?”
Jun nods.
“Do you have a sexual relationship?”
Again, a nod.
“Do you love him?”
Jun shrugs helplessly, but nods.
“Does he love you?”
Jun gasps at that question, he wasn’t prepared for it at all. He takes some time to recover, trying to search his mind for an answer. “I.” He pauses. “I don’t know,” he finally admits.
“Did he ever say he loves you?”
“No.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Hm.” Toshida refills their cups. “Tell me more about how you got together with Sho-san,” he finally says. So Jun does, tells him about the times when they were teenagers, the way they experimented with each other, how dependent he was on Sho, how he basically kissed the floor he was walking on, the inevitable break up of something they never really were, the years in which Jun kept his distance, the way Sho apparently changed throughout these years, until Jun reaches the date half a year ago in his explanation. He leaves out a few painful but important details from their past though, and by the thoughtful glance Toshida-sensei’s throws him, the other probably realizes it too.
Toshida smiles softly though. “When you are ready, Matsumoto-san, I’m going to ask you the same question again. The details you left out now, you’ll tell me then. For now… tell me what happened half a year ago.”
“Normally I always was careful not to be alone with him,” Jun admits. “I’m not even sure why, but breathing was always a bit more difficult when he was around. One day, we were trapped in an elevator. And well… Sho-san suddenly said weird things about how he regrets the way our relationship went and that he would like to start over. And then he hugged me, out of the blue.”
“And you hugged him back?”
“An instinctive reaction!” Jun retorts, blushing slightly when he realizes his defensive tone.
Toshida ignores it though, instead he tilts his head, humming thoughtfully. “So you just got together,” he concludes. “Spontaneously like that, without talking about anything?”
“Yeah…”
“You didn’t talk about anything all? No confessions? No mention about what you mean to each other and how this relationship will work?” he asks further.
“We were never good at talking to each other,” Jun admits quietly.
Toshida smiles sympathetically. He could probably say something alongside the words: Obviously not. But instead his next question goes a completely different direction. “What do you think now?” he wants to know. “About the day you got together with him?”
“I can’t believe I let my guard down like that. It’s Sho-san after all. He got me in a weak moment, and in that moment I wasn’t able to think properly. You know, he will always have the same issues, no matter how many years pass, no matter how he changes. He will still have that inner pressure to live up to his family’s wishes, he will always hate the fact that he likes guys, he will always have a temper, hold back his feelings.” Jun frowns deeply, biting down on his tongue before he can actually reveal too much and dig too deep into their past. “It’s so fucking difficult. Why do I need to love him of all things?”
“But you love him?” Toshida wants to know, eyes lighting up like he just found something important. “You still do. Even now?”
"Well..." Jun blinks in surprise for a moment, then he looks away in embarrassment. “Of course. I wouldn’t be together with him otherwise. I hate him for quite some things, but I also love him.”
“Well, that’s something to work on.” Toshida grins. “Another piece of cake?”
Jun smiles half-heartedly. “I guess vodka would be more appropriate right now.”
Toshida chuckles.
A/N: Well, here it is, chapter 1. :-) Sho and Jun had something going years ago, and Sho managed to get Jun in a weak moment, again. (at least Jun feels like it was a weak moment) But they argue a lot, and Jun has a lot of complicated feelings towards Sho. It's almost like he wants to hurt him on purprose sometimes, isn't it?
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Beta:
little_kirinGenre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^
Recently, when Jun looks in the mirror he doesn’t quite understand the man who is looking back at him. He wonders where his weird behaviour comes from. It’s never been like that before… He has never been like that. Of course he has his issues and a slight temper, always had them, but he has never wanted to deliberately hurt someone with words. He had a few relationships and during none of them he was such an annoying prick like he is with Sho. It drives him nuts to know how easily irritated he gets, and how he can’t stop himself from getting into all those arguments. The man looking back at him in the mirror is a mystery to him.
“I can’t believe you!” Jun huffs in disbelief. “I’ve cancelled all my appointments today, just so we could meet and you tell me last minute that you have work!?”
Sho sighs, like it wasn’t him who messed up. “I told you I’m sorry. I can’t change it, really. Don’t make a drama out of this Jun-san.”
The fuck with this idiot. “You know what,” Jun hisses. “Do whatever you want. I’m going to have dinner in that restaurant!”
Sho frowns. “With whom?”
“Are you even serious?” Jun blurts out. “You are the one who cancels last minute and then you want me to stay alone at home?”
“That’s not what I said!” Sho gives in to his anger too, and yells back. “I’m sorry I don’t like my boyfriend to meet someone else.”
“Oh, so I am your boyfriend all of a sudden? It’s weird how you beat around the bush on other occasions concerning that topic.”
“You can be such an annoying diva, Jun.”
“You didn’t just say that!” Jun crosses his arms in front of his body. “I tell you what, I’m so going out tonight!” To be honest, he originally just wanted to go to the next konbini and grab something to eat, then come home, invite Nino over and just go on a two-hour rant about how stupid Sho is (normally the perfect chance for Nino to join his rant, just that it includes Aiba rather than Sho). But with the way their talk developed he just wants to shove it right into Sho’s face that he is going to have fun tonight.
“And with who?” Sho asks, his voice biting sarcastically.
“Well, Riida is alone at home. I’m just going to pick him up. He is nicer than you anyway!” Sho winces slightly, and Jun takes that moment of speechlessness to stomp off. Okay, that was a low blow, a really low one, he has to admit as much. You never drag your friends into your drama, that’s for sure, and until now Jun has very much lived up to his own rule. Well, he did… until he got together with Sho. He loses his cool, each and every time they argue.
Sometimes he doesn't get why he reacts so strongly. It’s like he doesn’t understand himself anymore. Like he is a different person.
~~~
Ohno is surprised to see him in front of his apartment, but doesn’t question it much when Jun invites him out for food and mojitos.
He gets completely spent with Ohno that night, while he lets of steam and shares probably too many of his private problems. Stupid mojitos. The next day Ohno hands him a business card with the name of a therapist. A certain Toshida-sensei, around 45 years old, married. Focus on couples and love issues.
“You are seeing a therapist?” Jun asks in surprise. “I didn’t know you were feeling so bad.”
“Well.” Ohno shrugs casually and helps Jun prepare some hangover-food. “I met him when I went fishing a year ago. He loves the sea too, and at that time I was going through some emotional troubles. So, while we had our boats next to each other and were fishing, I talked to me. Our first therapy session.” He chuckles. “What I want to say is: I’m not feeling bad. But sometimes when the stress gets too much it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Even Aiba-kun visits one.”
“But-“
“See it as a fancy accessory,” Ohno says happily. “You have someone to clean your apartment, and someone to pick you up for jobs further away, someone responsible for your schedule, why not also have someone who is there when we need some emotional support? It just so happens that Toshida-sensei is a super-casual and cool guy, so don’t freak out. I think it would be good for you to talk with him about Sho.”
Ohno’s casual approaches have always triggered something in Jun and he promises to think about it. He still believes he doesn’t need a freaking therapist though, but the same night he dreams of Sho, and how he sucks him off, and Sho yells his name. I love you. Sho would never say something like that. In general Jun isn’t even certain what Sho really feels for him.
Okay, the hell with it. He sets an appointment with Toshida-sensei.
~~~
Monday, 7PM, first meeting
“I can’t believe that I’m the one sitting here now,” Jun rubs his face with his fingers, sighing deeply. “It’s all Ohno-san’s fault. He told me to talk to someone and gave me your number. Didn’t know he was a regular here too. But why do I have to talk, when he doesn’t?”
“You mean Ohno-san?” The man, approximately 45 to 50 years old, pretty tall, and sitting in front of him, is wearing simple jeans and a canary-yellow shirt that made Jun almost run away in shock. His skin his sun-burnt, he probably is outside a lot, and there are wrinkles around his lips. And he smiles, always seems to smile. Jun was actually surprised when he saw him, he thought the atmosphere would be much more sterile than it actually is.
“No.” Jun shakes his head. “I mean Sho-san.”
“And Sho-san is your…?”
“Partner…” Jun frowns “I guess.”
“I see.” The man nods patiently. Then his fingers tab against the desk, before he smiles softly. It’s almost sweet how there are wrinkles around his eyes, when he does so. “You don’t seem to be comfortable here, Matsumoto-san. So, why don’t we move away from my study and into the living room?” he suggests with this friendly grandfather-tone, which Jun slowly begins to fear. It’s the typical casual approach that’s probably going to make him spill too much information. Ohno has that too, this certain grandfather-vibe.
“Is that really okay?” Jun asks. But apparently it is, because the other just nods and smiles, and Jun follows him into his living room. It’s cosy there, not as fancy as in Jun's apartment, but it’s obviously made to make others feel comfortable immediately. Ten minutes later there is music coming from the radio in the background, and Jun has some coffee and a piece of cake in front of him.
“So, what is going on with this Sho-san?” Toshida asks now, biting into a piece of cake himself.
“Well, basically...” Jun tilts his head. “We are together, I guess.”
“Hm,” Toshida hums. “You have made each of your statements concerning this Sho-san very vague, Matsumoto-san. You said words like I guess each time.”
Jun blinks. “I do?” He pauses. “I mean, I did?”
“Are you his partner?” Toshida asks in return.
Jun blushes.
“You guess?” Toshida asks before Jun can answer, and Jun nods. “Let me rephrase my question then: Do you live together?”
Jun nods.
“Do you have a sexual relationship?”
Again, a nod.
“Do you love him?”
Jun shrugs helplessly, but nods.
“Does he love you?”
Jun gasps at that question, he wasn’t prepared for it at all. He takes some time to recover, trying to search his mind for an answer. “I.” He pauses. “I don’t know,” he finally admits.
“Did he ever say he loves you?”
“No.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Hm.” Toshida refills their cups. “Tell me more about how you got together with Sho-san,” he finally says. So Jun does, tells him about the times when they were teenagers, the way they experimented with each other, how dependent he was on Sho, how he basically kissed the floor he was walking on, the inevitable break up of something they never really were, the years in which Jun kept his distance, the way Sho apparently changed throughout these years, until Jun reaches the date half a year ago in his explanation. He leaves out a few painful but important details from their past though, and by the thoughtful glance Toshida-sensei’s throws him, the other probably realizes it too.
Toshida smiles softly though. “When you are ready, Matsumoto-san, I’m going to ask you the same question again. The details you left out now, you’ll tell me then. For now… tell me what happened half a year ago.”
“Normally I always was careful not to be alone with him,” Jun admits. “I’m not even sure why, but breathing was always a bit more difficult when he was around. One day, we were trapped in an elevator. And well… Sho-san suddenly said weird things about how he regrets the way our relationship went and that he would like to start over. And then he hugged me, out of the blue.”
“And you hugged him back?”
“An instinctive reaction!” Jun retorts, blushing slightly when he realizes his defensive tone.
Toshida ignores it though, instead he tilts his head, humming thoughtfully. “So you just got together,” he concludes. “Spontaneously like that, without talking about anything?”
“Yeah…”
“You didn’t talk about anything all? No confessions? No mention about what you mean to each other and how this relationship will work?” he asks further.
“We were never good at talking to each other,” Jun admits quietly.
Toshida smiles sympathetically. He could probably say something alongside the words: Obviously not. But instead his next question goes a completely different direction. “What do you think now?” he wants to know. “About the day you got together with him?”
“I can’t believe I let my guard down like that. It’s Sho-san after all. He got me in a weak moment, and in that moment I wasn’t able to think properly. You know, he will always have the same issues, no matter how many years pass, no matter how he changes. He will still have that inner pressure to live up to his family’s wishes, he will always hate the fact that he likes guys, he will always have a temper, hold back his feelings.” Jun frowns deeply, biting down on his tongue before he can actually reveal too much and dig too deep into their past. “It’s so fucking difficult. Why do I need to love him of all things?”
“But you love him?” Toshida wants to know, eyes lighting up like he just found something important. “You still do. Even now?”
"Well..." Jun blinks in surprise for a moment, then he looks away in embarrassment. “Of course. I wouldn’t be together with him otherwise. I hate him for quite some things, but I also love him.”
“Well, that’s something to work on.” Toshida grins. “Another piece of cake?”
Jun smiles half-heartedly. “I guess vodka would be more appropriate right now.”
Toshida chuckles.
A/N: Well, here it is, chapter 1. :-) Sho and Jun had something going years ago, and Sho managed to get Jun in a weak moment, again. (at least Jun feels like it was a weak moment) But they argue a lot, and Jun has a lot of complicated feelings towards Sho. It's almost like he wants to hurt him on purprose sometimes, isn't it?
