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yume_to_ameTitle: The taming of the shrew: Chapter 14/18
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
little_kirin
Genre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: Is it love or hate or attraction? They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^ It was originally meant to have short chapters - some are a little longer though.
Jun’s heart hammers against his chest so strongly that he is afraid that it’s just going to jump out of his body, so that Sho can stomp on it another time. A fucking third time! Why the hell was he so stupid to believe in Sho once more? He knew all this sweet-talking was good for nothing. Sho never loved him.
He reaches out his hand, ready to just grab anything he can find and run out of this apartment forever - and he is sure that this time Toshida won’t reprimand him for doing so - when his glance brushes over Sho’s face, and then he sees it… It…
It makes him stumble backwards immediately. The look in Sho’s eyes pulls the ground away beneath his feet.
Sho looks shocked, and pained, and guilty and confused… all of it at once, all of it is reflected in his eyes so openly like Jun hasn’t seen it in Sho’s eyes before. Sho has never looked so open. He moves the back of his hand to his cheek now where Jun’s handprint is blooming. “Jun-san…” He pauses, biting down on his lips. He looks guilty and embarrassed at once, and it confuses Jun even more. “You really believed it?”
“What…” Jun manages to stutter. He is not sure anymore what to make out of this weird expression Sho is showing him, and of these even weirder question he just asked.
“I knew you were carrying some emotional baggage with you, but…this? You really believed I would pull such a stunt on you again.” Sho moves his hand away from his cheek and makes a step closer to Jun, trying to grab his arm, but Jun manages to smack his hand away.
“You… tricked me,” Jun finally breaths out, as the realisation finally sinks in. Sho didn’t meet someone else, he didn’t want to break up… he just… “This was a trick, you wanted to test my reaction!”
Sho at least has the decency to look bad. “I’m so sorry Jun-san. I didn’t want to make you cry, I just…”
“You fucking idiot,” Jun blurts out in sudden rage, the tears in his eyes swelling up. He can’t remember the last time he felt that angry before – in fact, he is sure that he never actually felt like that, not even years ago when Sho left him. He doesn’t even mind if he is crying in front of Sho now or not. “How could you trick me like that? Do you even know how I feel, you jerk? Do you even remotely understand what you just did!? I should have just kissed that guy in the bar last week, instead silly me was thinking about you idiot and your feelings! How could you!?” He yells. “How? Is it so much fun to make a fool out of me!?”
“Jun…”
“Don’t Jun me,” Jun hisses. “I hate you, you heartless prick.”
He has promised Toshida-sensei and Sho not to run away again in a fight, but no one can stop him from locking himself into the bathroom now. The other reason he doesn’t just run out of the apartment is that Sho is basically standing right in front of the door, and he is sure he would try to stop him from leaving, and he doesn’t want to deal with Sho at all right now. Doesn’t even want to look at him. Like seriously. He smashes the door to the bathroom close and locks it before Sho can even react, then he leans against it with a deep sigh. He wants to open the water and splash some cold wet into this face, but his hands are trembling so much that he can’t even move them properly.
“Jun-san.” He can hear Sho’s voice from the other side, unusually soft. “I’m so sorry, my love. I really, really am. I know this looks like some sort of sick game to you, but I swear it isn’t.”
“Just go away,” Jun hisses.
“No, I won’t,” Sho mumbles. “I’ll never go away. Although you easily believe that I would.”
“Don’t turn this here around so that I’m the one at fault,” Jun huffs angrily. His breath goes unusually heavy and short, like when his allergy kicks in really heavily and he overdoes it with his work out at the same time or when he has been on stage for hours and needs his oxygen mask… just worse. He leans against the cold tiles of the bathroom, trying to calm his breath down. He doesn’t have his asthma spray him with him, the emergency item in case he is really short on breath after a concert, and he doesn’t want to leave the bathroom and face Sho.
For a moment it’s silent, then he can hear a sound coming from the door, like someone is leaning against it. “You are right,” Sho admits quietly, his voice shaking. “It was an idiotic plan, and Toshida-sensei is probably going to scold me for it, and he will be right to be angry at me. You have every right in the world to be mad at me now, but I swear I didn’t want to play you or to use any sick tricks on you… I just… I… Jun, I love you. You need to know… I love you like I never loved someone before. And there is no way I’m going to leave you!”
It’s like Jun’s heart stops beating for a moment, before it continues… in a careful and nervous rhythm. “What?” he mumbles. “What did you just say?”
“I know I never told you. Actually I didn’t even realize that I never said it to you directly. For that I’m sorry. I’m also sorry for tricking you like that before. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t reached my own limits as well. I didn’t know how to talk to you, how to ask you about it… I didn’t want to rip open old wounds. Believe me. I just needed to know what you feel… and what you fear, because you wouldn’t tell me… You have every right in the world to be mad at me and to yell at me, you can stay mad at me for how long you want, until you forgive me, but you need to believe me that I love you.” He pauses, and even through the door Jun can hear his breath hitching. “Jun, if you can’t ever forgive me for what happened years ago, how will we be able to move forward together?” He pauses. “You need to forgive me,” he begs. “Please forgive me.”
The sound of Sho’s voice, the way he asks him forgiveness makes Jun’s heart clench painfully. He sounds so desperate and so sad, and so hopeless, like he believes Jun will never really forgive him. Something about this makes Jun feel utterly sad for Sho all of a sudden.
Jun decides not to think. Not to overthink it. If he does it now, he will never be able to open up to Sho ever. It doesn’t matter how he looks like and if he just cried and his eyes are red and swollen and if Sho sees him in such a weak state, it doesn’t matter if he is sincerely mad at Sho right now, and disappointed…. But he can’t lock the truth out of his life.
When he opens the door, Sho basically drops into the bathroom. Apparently he was really leaning against the door, not believing that Jun would open it so fast. They both drop down to the floor, and Jun hits his head against the sink while Sho twists his ankle, moaning in pain.
Sho doesn’t seem to mind though, he hugs Jun immediately, holding him so tight that Jun feels that he might be running out of air (again!) if they stay like that. He can’t help it though and just has to hug Sho back. It’s only then that he realizes that he is actually crying heavily.
“Don’t cry,” Sho mumbles sadly. “Please don’t. I’m sorry. I love you, of course I do.”
A/N: So here we are! Sho just played a trick on Jun (and will get his a** kicked for it for sure ^^) By the way, I already wrote this chapter a while ago, and was curious about your ideas and speculations about Sho's break-up last chapter. It didn't make sense that Sho would cheat on Jun now and break up, when he has fought for him so much, right? Though Jun is majorly pissed now. For him it was just the same feeling like a true break-up. He feels like Sho just played with him. >< And do you think they will finally be able to let the past rest?
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Beta:
little_kirinGenre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: Is it love or hate or attraction? They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^ It was originally meant to have short chapters - some are a little longer though.
Jun’s heart hammers against his chest so strongly that he is afraid that it’s just going to jump out of his body, so that Sho can stomp on it another time. A fucking third time! Why the hell was he so stupid to believe in Sho once more? He knew all this sweet-talking was good for nothing. Sho never loved him.
He reaches out his hand, ready to just grab anything he can find and run out of this apartment forever - and he is sure that this time Toshida won’t reprimand him for doing so - when his glance brushes over Sho’s face, and then he sees it… It…
It makes him stumble backwards immediately. The look in Sho’s eyes pulls the ground away beneath his feet.
Sho looks shocked, and pained, and guilty and confused… all of it at once, all of it is reflected in his eyes so openly like Jun hasn’t seen it in Sho’s eyes before. Sho has never looked so open. He moves the back of his hand to his cheek now where Jun’s handprint is blooming. “Jun-san…” He pauses, biting down on his lips. He looks guilty and embarrassed at once, and it confuses Jun even more. “You really believed it?”
“What…” Jun manages to stutter. He is not sure anymore what to make out of this weird expression Sho is showing him, and of these even weirder question he just asked.
“I knew you were carrying some emotional baggage with you, but…this? You really believed I would pull such a stunt on you again.” Sho moves his hand away from his cheek and makes a step closer to Jun, trying to grab his arm, but Jun manages to smack his hand away.
“You… tricked me,” Jun finally breaths out, as the realisation finally sinks in. Sho didn’t meet someone else, he didn’t want to break up… he just… “This was a trick, you wanted to test my reaction!”
Sho at least has the decency to look bad. “I’m so sorry Jun-san. I didn’t want to make you cry, I just…”
“You fucking idiot,” Jun blurts out in sudden rage, the tears in his eyes swelling up. He can’t remember the last time he felt that angry before – in fact, he is sure that he never actually felt like that, not even years ago when Sho left him. He doesn’t even mind if he is crying in front of Sho now or not. “How could you trick me like that? Do you even know how I feel, you jerk? Do you even remotely understand what you just did!? I should have just kissed that guy in the bar last week, instead silly me was thinking about you idiot and your feelings! How could you!?” He yells. “How? Is it so much fun to make a fool out of me!?”
“Jun…”
“Don’t Jun me,” Jun hisses. “I hate you, you heartless prick.”
He has promised Toshida-sensei and Sho not to run away again in a fight, but no one can stop him from locking himself into the bathroom now. The other reason he doesn’t just run out of the apartment is that Sho is basically standing right in front of the door, and he is sure he would try to stop him from leaving, and he doesn’t want to deal with Sho at all right now. Doesn’t even want to look at him. Like seriously. He smashes the door to the bathroom close and locks it before Sho can even react, then he leans against it with a deep sigh. He wants to open the water and splash some cold wet into this face, but his hands are trembling so much that he can’t even move them properly.
“Jun-san.” He can hear Sho’s voice from the other side, unusually soft. “I’m so sorry, my love. I really, really am. I know this looks like some sort of sick game to you, but I swear it isn’t.”
“Just go away,” Jun hisses.
“No, I won’t,” Sho mumbles. “I’ll never go away. Although you easily believe that I would.”
“Don’t turn this here around so that I’m the one at fault,” Jun huffs angrily. His breath goes unusually heavy and short, like when his allergy kicks in really heavily and he overdoes it with his work out at the same time or when he has been on stage for hours and needs his oxygen mask… just worse. He leans against the cold tiles of the bathroom, trying to calm his breath down. He doesn’t have his asthma spray him with him, the emergency item in case he is really short on breath after a concert, and he doesn’t want to leave the bathroom and face Sho.
For a moment it’s silent, then he can hear a sound coming from the door, like someone is leaning against it. “You are right,” Sho admits quietly, his voice shaking. “It was an idiotic plan, and Toshida-sensei is probably going to scold me for it, and he will be right to be angry at me. You have every right in the world to be mad at me now, but I swear I didn’t want to play you or to use any sick tricks on you… I just… I… Jun, I love you. You need to know… I love you like I never loved someone before. And there is no way I’m going to leave you!”
It’s like Jun’s heart stops beating for a moment, before it continues… in a careful and nervous rhythm. “What?” he mumbles. “What did you just say?”
“I know I never told you. Actually I didn’t even realize that I never said it to you directly. For that I’m sorry. I’m also sorry for tricking you like that before. I wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t reached my own limits as well. I didn’t know how to talk to you, how to ask you about it… I didn’t want to rip open old wounds. Believe me. I just needed to know what you feel… and what you fear, because you wouldn’t tell me… You have every right in the world to be mad at me and to yell at me, you can stay mad at me for how long you want, until you forgive me, but you need to believe me that I love you.” He pauses, and even through the door Jun can hear his breath hitching. “Jun, if you can’t ever forgive me for what happened years ago, how will we be able to move forward together?” He pauses. “You need to forgive me,” he begs. “Please forgive me.”
The sound of Sho’s voice, the way he asks him forgiveness makes Jun’s heart clench painfully. He sounds so desperate and so sad, and so hopeless, like he believes Jun will never really forgive him. Something about this makes Jun feel utterly sad for Sho all of a sudden.
Jun decides not to think. Not to overthink it. If he does it now, he will never be able to open up to Sho ever. It doesn’t matter how he looks like and if he just cried and his eyes are red and swollen and if Sho sees him in such a weak state, it doesn’t matter if he is sincerely mad at Sho right now, and disappointed…. But he can’t lock the truth out of his life.
When he opens the door, Sho basically drops into the bathroom. Apparently he was really leaning against the door, not believing that Jun would open it so fast. They both drop down to the floor, and Jun hits his head against the sink while Sho twists his ankle, moaning in pain.
Sho doesn’t seem to mind though, he hugs Jun immediately, holding him so tight that Jun feels that he might be running out of air (again!) if they stay like that. He can’t help it though and just has to hug Sho back. It’s only then that he realizes that he is actually crying heavily.
“Don’t cry,” Sho mumbles sadly. “Please don’t. I’m sorry. I love you, of course I do.”
A/N: So here we are! Sho just played a trick on Jun (and will get his a** kicked for it for sure ^^) By the way, I already wrote this chapter a while ago, and was curious about your ideas and speculations about Sho's break-up last chapter. It didn't make sense that Sho would cheat on Jun now and break up, when he has fought for him so much, right? Though Jun is majorly pissed now. For him it was just the same feeling like a true break-up. He feels like Sho just played with him. >< And do you think they will finally be able to let the past rest?
