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yume_to_ame2016-11-07 12:11 pm
lilly0) wrote in yume_to_ame2016-11-07 12:11 pm
The taming of the shrew: Chapter 15 (Sakumoto)
Title: The taming of the shrew: Chapter 15/18
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Genre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: Is it love or hate or attraction? They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^ It was originally meant to have short chapters - some are a little longer though.
At one point they move from the cold bathroom floor to the warm living room sofa. Sho has fetched Jun’s asthma spray, and helps Jun with getting his breath go steadier again, then he catches his phone and dials Toshida’s number. Jun can hear how he says something about an emergency meeting, and that something happened, and Jun needs him as soon as possible.
When Sho has finished talking, he puts the phone aside and helps Jun with his spray again. “He is dropping by tomorrow morning,” he says and rubs Jun’s arms. “Should I tell him to come immediately? He said he could do that too.”
Jun shakes his head. His breath goes steady again, and he feels how he calms down slowly. Seeing Toshida-sensei tomorrow is good enough, for now he needs to concentrate on Sho. Toshida probably had a similar feeling, hence he offered to come the next day and not immediately. As always he is right.
When Jun fell after he opened the bathroom door he actually hit his head slightly, producing a little bloody cut on his forehead. Sho attends to it carefully, putting a little patch on it. When he is finished, Jun gets up to gather some towels and ice cubes from the kitchen and bathroom. He makes Sho take off his socks and pull up his trousers to wrap the ice-cold, wet towel around his sprained ankle. Then he wraps the cloth around the ice cubes and presses them against Sho’s cheek.
“Thanks.” Sho smiles carefully. “You really slap hard.”
“Are you complaining?” Jun huffs in annoyance.
“Not at all,” Sho tries to sooth him. He chuckles, pointing at the ice-bag. “With this it should be fine.”
Jun nods absent-mindedly.
“Jun-san.” Sho takes his hand and tugs at it until Jun looks at him. “I… to be honest, I can’t believe you were carrying this burden inside you, all alone. I knew something was off and that something was bothering you, I just didn’t know it went that deep. I should have though… it’s just logical. I was awful as a teenager, I was just an awful person. I was insecure, and pressured, but it’s not an excuse for how I treated you.”
“Maybe not an awful person, but sometimes you really were cruel back then,” Jun admits quietly. “You know, when we were together for the first time – you were cruel. Nothing like you are now, well… aside from a certain recent happening.”
“I’m sorry,” Sho squeezes his hand, looking sincerely guilty. “The moment I started with this charade, I didn’t actually believe you would really buy it. To be honest, I thought you would look through me. I was shocked myself when I saw the look in your eyes and how I hurt you with every word, and how you started crying.”
“You could have stopped midway,” Jun points out.
“Yes, you are right,” Sho admits quietly. “But in that moment I actually wanted to know the truth all of sudden. I couldn’t stop myself from going through it. And one part of me was even feeling a bit mad.”
That’s a new revelation. At least Sho is being honest though. “Mad?”
“Yes, I was mad for an instant,” Sho admits. “That you shouldered all that on your own without telling me. That you were so desperate to visit a therapist, and never told me what’s going on inside you. But somehow I understand now. After seeing the sensei myself, I understood why it’s not so easy to say some things. When our schedules got tighter recently, I could suddenly see this doubt in you, this fear… it was then that I wondered if it actually comes from what happened in the past. ”
Jun bites down on his lips, all this straight-forward talk from Sho makes him surprisingly emotional. It’s good to hear Sho voice things out, but at the same time it’s weirdly painful. “I should have told you from the beginning on,” Jun admits. “That I didn’t believe in your feelings when you approached me half a year ago. But instead of being honest and asking you about everything, and setting everything straight, I just vented my fears and my anger out on you. It wasn’t particularly fair from me either.”
“I wouldn’t call it unfair though, but unhealthy,” Sho says, squeezing Jun’s hand softly. “All this time you have been carrying all that emotional baggage with you and fought alone. You should have shared it with me.” Sho takes Jun hands, playing with his fingers. The expression in his eyes is surprisingly anxious. “Jun, to be honest I’m dreading the next question, but I need to know: Is there a possibility, even a tiny one, that you see a chance in actually forgiving me for what happened when we were younger? A tiny spark you see in me and my feelings and to which you can cling on to?” Sho bites down on his lips. They are quivering slightly and there are tears shimmering in his eyes, much to Jun’s surprise. He can’t recall the last time he has seen Sho crying… for real. To be honest, he is sure he has never seen him cry… ever. To know that Sho lets his guard down so much and shows himself so vulnerable in front of Jun, makes Jun’s heart tighten slightly. “You need to forgive me, Jun, at one point you need to forgive me otherwise no matter what we do, it’s useless.”
“Sho,” Jun says softly. He takes his face between his hands, and brushes over his cheeks. “Sho-san. I can’t say that I forgave you for what happened because back then you really hurt me more than anyone else could have done. I hated you. All those innocent feelings I had were washed away with every time you betrayed me. I’m not sure if I can forgive the you from the past. But I love the Sho from today. From now on I’ll try to work on letting go of the young, cruel, insecure and easily irritated Sho, and rather look at the kind, loving and caring Sho from today because I have forgiven this Sho long ago, and I love him with all my heart. Can you be patient with me a little longer until I got rid of that old image of you forever?”
Sho hugs him, and strokes over his back, before he kisses Jun’s temples. “Of course, silly. That’s finally an honest, straight-forward sentiment from you that I can definitely live with. And I will.” He chuckles slightly and pulls back, his eyes still a bit watery. “And you said you love me. That’s enough of reassurance for the moment.”
Jun blushes slightly. He said it, didn’t he? Well, Sho said it too, so all positions are finally cleared. “Sometimes I’ll be difficult to be around,” Jun admits. “Are you sure you can live with that?”
“You mean more difficult than the first months when you threw something at me on a daily basis?” Sho teases.
Jun chuckles. “Okay, maybe not that difficult.”
Actually, he just realized how patient Sho really is. To keep up with all the drama and to whole-heartedly work on what’s standing between them…. that’s a Sho he can definitely learn to trust and rely on.
“You know,” Sho muses after a while. “There is one thing that makes me panicked though.”
“And what’s that?” Jun wants to know.
“Toshida-sensei will be so mad, and I have to tell him about everything that happened,” Sho sighs. “I think he might rip my head off.”
“He has this surfer-ideology though,” Jun muses absent-mindedly. “He is always calm and understanding.”
“Really?” Sho looks at him like he talks about a different person. “Never saw a surfer-dude in front of me to be honest. Seems like he is handling us differently. Well, I guess, it’s just logical, different persons different therapy-strategies.”
Jun smiles slightly, and tugs at Sho’s arm.
“Yes,” Sho says when Jun throws him a tired glance. He wraps his arms around Jun and pulls him closer. “Toshida-sensei can definitely wait until tomorrow.”
A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update! I'm still in Japan (last Sunday we arrived in Tokyo, and I was so tired from jetlag and the long flight) and yesterday...I actually forgot ^^ (We are in Fukuoka now! God, I already bought so much >< But that's a different story :D)
So... this here... they finally talk! XD
Pairing: Sakumoto
Rating: R/NC-17 (not in every chapter though)
Genre: smut, romance, bit angst (no AU setting)
Plot: Is it love or hate or attraction? They share a history of ups and downs, from teenage crushes over not talking at all to accepting each other’s presence. Finally, six months ago, Sho approaches Jun, leading to them getting together. Unfortunately they can’t be in a room together without a fight. What they share though is passion, and the only time they get along is in bed. Then, during a drunk night when Jun vents out his anger, Ohno gives him the contact details of his therapist.
At the end, there remains the question: Who actually needs to tame who?
Note: This is going to have some passionate scenes, and will also contain the typical Sakumoto angst and quite some complicated feelings ^^ It was originally meant to have short chapters - some are a little longer though.
At one point they move from the cold bathroom floor to the warm living room sofa. Sho has fetched Jun’s asthma spray, and helps Jun with getting his breath go steadier again, then he catches his phone and dials Toshida’s number. Jun can hear how he says something about an emergency meeting, and that something happened, and Jun needs him as soon as possible.
When Sho has finished talking, he puts the phone aside and helps Jun with his spray again. “He is dropping by tomorrow morning,” he says and rubs Jun’s arms. “Should I tell him to come immediately? He said he could do that too.”
Jun shakes his head. His breath goes steady again, and he feels how he calms down slowly. Seeing Toshida-sensei tomorrow is good enough, for now he needs to concentrate on Sho. Toshida probably had a similar feeling, hence he offered to come the next day and not immediately. As always he is right.
When Jun fell after he opened the bathroom door he actually hit his head slightly, producing a little bloody cut on his forehead. Sho attends to it carefully, putting a little patch on it. When he is finished, Jun gets up to gather some towels and ice cubes from the kitchen and bathroom. He makes Sho take off his socks and pull up his trousers to wrap the ice-cold, wet towel around his sprained ankle. Then he wraps the cloth around the ice cubes and presses them against Sho’s cheek.
“Thanks.” Sho smiles carefully. “You really slap hard.”
“Are you complaining?” Jun huffs in annoyance.
“Not at all,” Sho tries to sooth him. He chuckles, pointing at the ice-bag. “With this it should be fine.”
Jun nods absent-mindedly.
“Jun-san.” Sho takes his hand and tugs at it until Jun looks at him. “I… to be honest, I can’t believe you were carrying this burden inside you, all alone. I knew something was off and that something was bothering you, I just didn’t know it went that deep. I should have though… it’s just logical. I was awful as a teenager, I was just an awful person. I was insecure, and pressured, but it’s not an excuse for how I treated you.”
“Maybe not an awful person, but sometimes you really were cruel back then,” Jun admits quietly. “You know, when we were together for the first time – you were cruel. Nothing like you are now, well… aside from a certain recent happening.”
“I’m sorry,” Sho squeezes his hand, looking sincerely guilty. “The moment I started with this charade, I didn’t actually believe you would really buy it. To be honest, I thought you would look through me. I was shocked myself when I saw the look in your eyes and how I hurt you with every word, and how you started crying.”
“You could have stopped midway,” Jun points out.
“Yes, you are right,” Sho admits quietly. “But in that moment I actually wanted to know the truth all of sudden. I couldn’t stop myself from going through it. And one part of me was even feeling a bit mad.”
That’s a new revelation. At least Sho is being honest though. “Mad?”
“Yes, I was mad for an instant,” Sho admits. “That you shouldered all that on your own without telling me. That you were so desperate to visit a therapist, and never told me what’s going on inside you. But somehow I understand now. After seeing the sensei myself, I understood why it’s not so easy to say some things. When our schedules got tighter recently, I could suddenly see this doubt in you, this fear… it was then that I wondered if it actually comes from what happened in the past. ”
Jun bites down on his lips, all this straight-forward talk from Sho makes him surprisingly emotional. It’s good to hear Sho voice things out, but at the same time it’s weirdly painful. “I should have told you from the beginning on,” Jun admits. “That I didn’t believe in your feelings when you approached me half a year ago. But instead of being honest and asking you about everything, and setting everything straight, I just vented my fears and my anger out on you. It wasn’t particularly fair from me either.”
“I wouldn’t call it unfair though, but unhealthy,” Sho says, squeezing Jun’s hand softly. “All this time you have been carrying all that emotional baggage with you and fought alone. You should have shared it with me.” Sho takes Jun hands, playing with his fingers. The expression in his eyes is surprisingly anxious. “Jun, to be honest I’m dreading the next question, but I need to know: Is there a possibility, even a tiny one, that you see a chance in actually forgiving me for what happened when we were younger? A tiny spark you see in me and my feelings and to which you can cling on to?” Sho bites down on his lips. They are quivering slightly and there are tears shimmering in his eyes, much to Jun’s surprise. He can’t recall the last time he has seen Sho crying… for real. To be honest, he is sure he has never seen him cry… ever. To know that Sho lets his guard down so much and shows himself so vulnerable in front of Jun, makes Jun’s heart tighten slightly. “You need to forgive me, Jun, at one point you need to forgive me otherwise no matter what we do, it’s useless.”
“Sho,” Jun says softly. He takes his face between his hands, and brushes over his cheeks. “Sho-san. I can’t say that I forgave you for what happened because back then you really hurt me more than anyone else could have done. I hated you. All those innocent feelings I had were washed away with every time you betrayed me. I’m not sure if I can forgive the you from the past. But I love the Sho from today. From now on I’ll try to work on letting go of the young, cruel, insecure and easily irritated Sho, and rather look at the kind, loving and caring Sho from today because I have forgiven this Sho long ago, and I love him with all my heart. Can you be patient with me a little longer until I got rid of that old image of you forever?”
Sho hugs him, and strokes over his back, before he kisses Jun’s temples. “Of course, silly. That’s finally an honest, straight-forward sentiment from you that I can definitely live with. And I will.” He chuckles slightly and pulls back, his eyes still a bit watery. “And you said you love me. That’s enough of reassurance for the moment.”
Jun blushes slightly. He said it, didn’t he? Well, Sho said it too, so all positions are finally cleared. “Sometimes I’ll be difficult to be around,” Jun admits. “Are you sure you can live with that?”
“You mean more difficult than the first months when you threw something at me on a daily basis?” Sho teases.
Jun chuckles. “Okay, maybe not that difficult.”
Actually, he just realized how patient Sho really is. To keep up with all the drama and to whole-heartedly work on what’s standing between them…. that’s a Sho he can definitely learn to trust and rely on.
“You know,” Sho muses after a while. “There is one thing that makes me panicked though.”
“And what’s that?” Jun wants to know.
“Toshida-sensei will be so mad, and I have to tell him about everything that happened,” Sho sighs. “I think he might rip my head off.”
“He has this surfer-ideology though,” Jun muses absent-mindedly. “He is always calm and understanding.”
“Really?” Sho looks at him like he talks about a different person. “Never saw a surfer-dude in front of me to be honest. Seems like he is handling us differently. Well, I guess, it’s just logical, different persons different therapy-strategies.”
Jun smiles slightly, and tugs at Sho’s arm.
“Yes,” Sho says when Jun throws him a tired glance. He wraps his arms around Jun and pulls him closer. “Toshida-sensei can definitely wait until tomorrow.”
A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update! I'm still in Japan (last Sunday we arrived in Tokyo, and I was so tired from jetlag and the long flight) and yesterday...I actually forgot ^^ (We are in Fukuoka now! God, I already bought so much >< But that's a different story :D)
So... this here... they finally talk! XD