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yume_to_ameTitle: Me without you 12/?
Pairing: Junba, Sakumiya, Ohno/?, others possible
Rating: up to R
Genre: AU, romance
Plot: Although they are both young students at college, both the youngest brothers within three, and both part of high society, there are worlds between Jun and Masaki. Jun comes from a rich, traditional and conservative family, while Masaki's family gained wealth and fame by luck. Masaki is cheerful and enjoys life to the fullest. Jun is unusually earnest and distanced. Although part of the same glamorous world, their paths would have never crossed, they would have never even talked, but then Masaki's brothers decide he needs to catch up with his studies, and hire Jun as his tutor. With being so different it seems they will never get closer, until they realize that they both hold a sad secret.
Note: This is dedicated to
yukitsubute. I had (and still have) a lot of fun writing this, and I wonder where it takes me to. I can promise you some fluff, some fun and some drama (the usual ^^) There might even be some hurt & comfort.
Shingo cooks pasta. He declares it’s the best recipe ever, and Masaki has to fight back the urge to tell him that Jun’s recipe is so much better.
“I know what you are thinking,” Shingo pouts.
Masaki gladly doesn’t need to answer because Satoshi joins them – thank god, they are three brothers. “Sho was on the phone,” Satoshi tells them. “They invite us for the upcoming Saturday. For a barbecue party.”
“Really?” Shingo exclaims. “How nice. I hope you are free, Masaki?”
“Of course.” Masaki stretches and angles for one of the macaroni with his fingers. “I already knew about it anyways.”
“How?” Satoshi asks in surprise.
“I’ve connections,” Masaki chuckles, their surprise is really cute. Did they really think Jun wouldn’t tell him about it. “Nino and the others are invited too.” Jun friends will come too. Well, he already knows Kiko, she is easy to get along with. But he is afraid that Shun will hate him.
“I’ve good connections too,” Shingo grumbles. “But they won’t tell me anything important.”
“Your pasta really tastes delicious,” Satoshi exclaims all of a sudden.
“Yes.” Masaki catches on immediately. Distraction attack. “Almost on par with Jun’s. Which is a huge compliment.”
“The consistence of the noodles is great,” Satoshi continues.
“But the sauce is the best,” Masaki agrees.
“By the way, how did you manage to make your hair look so good today?” Satoshi asks earnestly.
Shingo sighs. “It’s like you two never learned something from me.”
“Not convincing?” Masaki feels almost bad for a moment. They just wanted to lighten up Shingo’s mood a bit.
“Now don’t make me feel bad,” Shingo calls out. “Let’s eat. It’s okay.”
Satoshi sighs slightly. “Would vodka and cake enlighten your mood?”
Shingo smiles slightly. “Now we are talking.”
~~~
Masaki grabs Jun’s hand secretly and pulls him along to the backside of the house. He glances around carefully to check if someone is following them. But no one is.
Jun chuckles. “What are you doing?”
Masaki wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him closer. “I passed my exam yesterday. It’s not like I did great, but good enough.”
Jun’s eyes light up. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me!? This is so great. I knew you could do it.”
“Yes, you did,” Masaki smiles, his heart beating faster by the knowledge that Jun believes in him. That he even did so before they got together. He pulls him into a soft kiss.
Jun wraps his arms around his waist. “What if someone sees us?”
“Won’t matter,” Masaki grins. “I know that one of your brothers is having something going with one of mine.”
“You are kidding!?” Jun blurts out.
“Not at all.” Masaki snickers, and if you kiss me properly now, I might even tell you who it is.”
“Takuya,” Jun states in a matter-of-fact tone.
Masaki almost feels disappointed. “How did you know?”
“He stays away overnight sometimes and smells like a different perfume,” Jun grins. “You still get your kiss though.”
For a few minutes none of them is talking. Masaki is simply engulfed in the feeling of Jun’s hands at his back, and his plump lips willingly parted to let his tongue slip in. It’s only when they need to catch for air that they pull apart.
“You won’t need a tutor anymore, right?” Jun asks, sounding almost disappointed.
“What!?” Masaki exclaims. “Of course I do! I want to improve my marks. And I need someone who makes me stay focused.” He grins. “Of course, seeing you and imagining all kinds of things doesn’t really help. But still…” he smiles. “I need you.”
“Well,” Jun smiles warmly. “We’ll manage to get you through the year end exams too.”
“I knew it would be beneficial to start an affair with my teacher,” Masaki jokes, and to his delight Jun laughs slightly. He has a beautiful laugh. He should show it more often. He takes Jun’s face between his hands. “You are so beautiful,” he states all serious now. “So beautiful.”
Jun’s lips tug, and he looks almost sad for a moment. “I’m not,” he says, sounding tired. “I wish you could realize how ugly I actually am.”
Masaki is more than a little surprised by Jun’s words. It seems like Jun is surprised too, like he didn’t even want to say it. He chuckles all of a sudden. “Just kidding,” he says light-heartedly.
No, Masaki thinks, you are not. He wonders if Jun’s issues are similar to his, but in his caste it’s more about his self-doubts towards his intelligence and his character, with Jun it seems to be something else. He chooses not to say something though, instead he takes Jun’s hand and entangles their fingers. “Let’s check on the progress of the barbecue?” he offers. Right when he says it his stomach grumbles too, making him blush.
Jun smiles. “We definitely need to get you something edible soon,” he says, and he seems to be back to his normal self again.
They drop their hands so that they won’t get any unwanted attention and head to the barbecue. It’s the only thing in the universe that Satoshi can cook, next to fish. But apparently fire and wood and the sea awaken his baser instincts. He is wearing a simple t-shirt now, revealing his brown arms and looks so casual and comfortable like he is actually at home in this huge villa. Somewhere at the other side of the garden Nino chats with Sho.
Masaki blinks for a moment. Nino chats with Sho? Nino is smiling while he talks, gesticulating and obviously making a silly joke because Sho laughs now. Do they know each other?
Masaki isn’t sure if he should feel pissed now, curious or happy. He waits until Nino finally leaves Sho alone and goes inside the house to the restroom. Masaki follows him secretly. Nino squeals in surprise when Masaki grabs his arm and pulls him into the bathroom. This time though he has learned his lesson and checks properly if anyone is around. He doesn’t need anyone listening to them by accident. “Are you nuts!?” Nino huffs.
“Are you? Nuts?” Masaki chuckles. “Flirting with Sho-san?”
“I’m not flirting with anyone,” Nino huffs. “Get your eyes checked.”
“And here I thought we were best friends,” Masaki pretends to be hurt. “Still you keep so many secrets from me.”
Nino grumbles. “You are not fair,” he complains.
“No,” Masaki says earnestly. “You are not fair.”
Nino blushes slightly, before he opens the door to look outside. As clearly no one is around, he turns back to Masaki. “Okay, I might be flirting with him. But I’m not good at it. We’ve been meeting regularly.”
“WHAT!?” Masaki exclaims.
“Shhhhh!” Nino frowns. “Keep your voice down. He wanted help to get along with Jun. And we kind of met each other on the wrong foot a few times… coincidentally first, so he showed me his kind side and invited me to lunch. That’s how it somehow of started. Nothing happened. He still sees a kid in me. First he actually believed I’m a middle schooler.”
Masaki is quiet, trying to process the information he got. “You like him?” he asks. Sho is a difficult guy. He knows that Shingo probably hasn’t an easy job with Takuya, but they are both a lot older, they are on one level, and have a certain view on life. Takuya seems to have issues, but apparently he is only half as stiff and traditional as expected. It seems like he wants to break with the expected traditions – Jun told him he even suggested dropping the formalities between them as brothers. But Sho… he seems to be rather conservative. Also Kazu is a friend of his little brother, Sho would need to wrap his mind around that and accept it. But most importantly… “Do you like him, Kazu?”
Nino sighs. “I’m stupid for liking him, right? Because it’s hopeless.”
“You are not stupid,” Masaki argues “You are in fact thrice as smart as I am. And witty. And intelligent.”
“But?” Nino wants to know.
“He is not going to be easy to get,” Masaki tries to voice it as diplomatically as possible.
Nino looks at him for a while before chuckling. “I told you, I’m hopeless. He’ll be impossible to get.”
“Never say impossible,” Masaki says with sudden resolve. “I’ll help you! You have beauty and charm, we’ll for sure manage to make him look at you in a different way. But-” he raises a warning finger. “Next time I want details about your meetings and all.”
“Fine,” Nino grins, suddenly looking a lot happier. “Now let’s go to back to the others.” He pauses. “Thank you, Masaki, for your help. I didn’t know how to tell you. I felt so stupid for liking him.”
“It’s not stupid,” Masaki says firmly.
Kazu smiles.
When they leave the bathroom, laughing, they meet Jun at the corridor. He looks relieved for a moment, then uncertain again. “I was looking for you,” he says. “I didn’t want to disturb anything though.”
Masaki feels a bit confused. “You didn’t disturb anything.”
“It’s okay,” Jun says. “We are going to eat soon by the way. Maybe you two want to join?”
When they follow Jun outside, Nino elbows Masaki’s side. “He thinks we made out,” he whispers.
“What?” Masaki blinks. “No way!”
“Yes way,” Nino rolls his eyes. “Open your eyes.”
Masaki isn’t sure what to think about it, but throughout the afternoon Jun is rather quiet. He doesn’t pull away from his touches though, but still… Masaki wonders what made him so insecure in the past.
~~~
It’s difficult for Shingo to talk about certain things. It’s not like he is shy or introverted, but there are some things he can’t just say out loud. He can’t tell Takuya to be more open with him, because he is sure he would leave if he does so.
Takuya said he doesn’t want to be in a steady relationship, ever. First Shingo thought it’s because he plans on getting married one day, and not date a guy, but he soon realized that Takuya, as conservative as he is, doesn’t mind it at all that he sleeps with a guy.
He simply doesn’t want to be in a real relationship, no matter if it’s with a man or woman. At the same time he doesn’t enjoy it to be single. Shingo knows Takuya likes it to have him around, and he hates it to be alone.
“You are too nice, really,” Takuya says when Shingo hands him the bag full of salads and sauces they brought along. “I told you, we would be the ones cooking. Although of course it means that it’s only Jun and I who are cooking. Sho was banned from the kitchen. He always is.”
“Really?” Shingo asks in interest, happily taking any piece of information Takuya feeds him with.
“Hm, he would even set boiling water on fire.”
“You are kidding?” Against his intention Shingo has to grin. “I mean, Satoshi is horrible too. He is an artist deep inside. So he just does… something in the kitchen. Throwing everything into the pan at once.”
Takuya smiles slightly, this perfect crooked smile of him. He looks around carefully, before grabbing Shingo’s collar and pulling him closer to kiss him. Shingo gasps in surprise by that little attack. It rarely happens in semi-public that Takuya actually initiates a kiss. It’s just for a few seconds though then Takuya remembers to be careful. Shingo chuckles. “We should really deepen this talk later,” he jokes. “You are in a good mood.”
Takuya shrugs. “Not really. I had a fight with Jun.”
“Ah,” Shingo makes, in his mind trying to work with this piece of information so that it would fit Takuya being kind of relaxed at the moment. “Sorry, I don’t get it.”
“It made us talk about important things,” Takuya explains with a careful smile. “And I told them I want to drop the honorific.”
Knowing them by now, Shingo is well aware that this is a huge step forward. “Great!” he exclaims. “You’ll see! It’s just the first step, from now on you’ll be more honest to each other and open up more. And not bottle everything up inside you. The bond is there between you three, because you always loved each other. Now you just need to nourish it!”
Takuya blinks, before he chuckles. “You are always so passionate.”
“But it is something good, right?” Shingo smiles. “From now on you can step forward.”
“I wished we would have reached this point in a different way though, without anyone getting hurt,” Takuya says, all earnest now. His forehead is furrowed, and Shingo wonders what kind of troubling emotions he is facing right now.
“What’s wrong?” he asks carefully.
“I hit Jun,” Takuya admits all of a sudden, looking guilty. “I never did before. I never want to again. He pushed my wrong buttons on that evening, but that’s not an excuse.”
“Okay,” Shingo starts carefully, sensing that he is stepping on thin ice here. On very thin ice. Takuya is rarely sharing such private information with him. The fact that he is now means he is troubled enough that he can’t keep it inside and especially doesn’t have anyone else to talk with about it. “It won’t happen again, you are not going to do it again.” Shingo takes a step forward. “You snapped. That’s bad. But it doesn’t turn you into a bad person. It won’t happen like that again.”
“It’s not just that. I yelled at him too.”
Shingo frowns. “But we do that too,” he argues. “Just the last time Satoshi yelled at Masaki. And a few weeks ago I yelled at Satoshi. So what? We can’t always get along.”
“It’s different when I fight with Sho,” Takuya explains, raising Shingo’s confusion. Takuya is feeding him with quite some information, but it’s hard to fit it all together. “Because Sho is older. We argue differently. When it’s Jun I always feel bad afterwards. I feel like I have a lot more power than he has, and that it’s never a fair fight.”
“Takuya-kun,” Shingo smiles. “You grew up differently than I did. Still, all you do is think about your family. You try to make your brothers lead the life they want and consider their feelings. Of course you have to learn too. I think you are dealing with things well.”
“I hope you are right,” Takuya says with a deep unsettling frown.
Shingo swallows. “Takuya, I want to ask you something. Did your f-“
“Not now.” Takuya shakes his head. “Whatever you want to ask me, you can’t ask it here. Wait for us to be alone. All alone.”
Shingo knows he is right, but at the same time, he knows that if he waits for hours he won’t find the courage again. There has never been a more open moment between them. “Your father abused you, didn’t he?”
A/N: So, Shingo asked an important question. What will Takuya answer though? We'll hear more about that next chapter! The next two chapters will not be as Junba-focused as before, because I need to work towards the 'next huge thing' happening between them. Before that I want to lay out and tie together the other loose plot ends. ^^
Oh, and I haven't forgotten about Satoshi of course. His plot starts kind of late, but there will be something, I promise. Also let's not forget the creep that was after Nino and Ryo >>
To everyone who nominated me for the arashiawards: THANK YOU! Omg, I seriously couldn't believe it that quite some of my fics showed up. I know I don't quite face a chance in certain categories, but being nominated in so many categories means a lot to me. THANK YOU everyone!!!!
Pairing: Junba, Sakumiya, Ohno/?, others possible
Rating: up to R
Genre: AU, romance
Plot: Although they are both young students at college, both the youngest brothers within three, and both part of high society, there are worlds between Jun and Masaki. Jun comes from a rich, traditional and conservative family, while Masaki's family gained wealth and fame by luck. Masaki is cheerful and enjoys life to the fullest. Jun is unusually earnest and distanced. Although part of the same glamorous world, their paths would have never crossed, they would have never even talked, but then Masaki's brothers decide he needs to catch up with his studies, and hire Jun as his tutor. With being so different it seems they will never get closer, until they realize that they both hold a sad secret.
Note: This is dedicated to
yukitsubute. I had (and still have) a lot of fun writing this, and I wonder where it takes me to. I can promise you some fluff, some fun and some drama (the usual ^^) There might even be some hurt & comfort.Shingo cooks pasta. He declares it’s the best recipe ever, and Masaki has to fight back the urge to tell him that Jun’s recipe is so much better.
“I know what you are thinking,” Shingo pouts.
Masaki gladly doesn’t need to answer because Satoshi joins them – thank god, they are three brothers. “Sho was on the phone,” Satoshi tells them. “They invite us for the upcoming Saturday. For a barbecue party.”
“Really?” Shingo exclaims. “How nice. I hope you are free, Masaki?”
“Of course.” Masaki stretches and angles for one of the macaroni with his fingers. “I already knew about it anyways.”
“How?” Satoshi asks in surprise.
“I’ve connections,” Masaki chuckles, their surprise is really cute. Did they really think Jun wouldn’t tell him about it. “Nino and the others are invited too.” Jun friends will come too. Well, he already knows Kiko, she is easy to get along with. But he is afraid that Shun will hate him.
“I’ve good connections too,” Shingo grumbles. “But they won’t tell me anything important.”
“Your pasta really tastes delicious,” Satoshi exclaims all of a sudden.
“Yes.” Masaki catches on immediately. Distraction attack. “Almost on par with Jun’s. Which is a huge compliment.”
“The consistence of the noodles is great,” Satoshi continues.
“But the sauce is the best,” Masaki agrees.
“By the way, how did you manage to make your hair look so good today?” Satoshi asks earnestly.
Shingo sighs. “It’s like you two never learned something from me.”
“Not convincing?” Masaki feels almost bad for a moment. They just wanted to lighten up Shingo’s mood a bit.
“Now don’t make me feel bad,” Shingo calls out. “Let’s eat. It’s okay.”
Satoshi sighs slightly. “Would vodka and cake enlighten your mood?”
Shingo smiles slightly. “Now we are talking.”
~~~
Masaki grabs Jun’s hand secretly and pulls him along to the backside of the house. He glances around carefully to check if someone is following them. But no one is.
Jun chuckles. “What are you doing?”
Masaki wraps his arms around his neck and pulls him closer. “I passed my exam yesterday. It’s not like I did great, but good enough.”
Jun’s eyes light up. “Really? Why didn’t you tell me!? This is so great. I knew you could do it.”
“Yes, you did,” Masaki smiles, his heart beating faster by the knowledge that Jun believes in him. That he even did so before they got together. He pulls him into a soft kiss.
Jun wraps his arms around his waist. “What if someone sees us?”
“Won’t matter,” Masaki grins. “I know that one of your brothers is having something going with one of mine.”
“You are kidding!?” Jun blurts out.
“Not at all.” Masaki snickers, and if you kiss me properly now, I might even tell you who it is.”
“Takuya,” Jun states in a matter-of-fact tone.
Masaki almost feels disappointed. “How did you know?”
“He stays away overnight sometimes and smells like a different perfume,” Jun grins. “You still get your kiss though.”
For a few minutes none of them is talking. Masaki is simply engulfed in the feeling of Jun’s hands at his back, and his plump lips willingly parted to let his tongue slip in. It’s only when they need to catch for air that they pull apart.
“You won’t need a tutor anymore, right?” Jun asks, sounding almost disappointed.
“What!?” Masaki exclaims. “Of course I do! I want to improve my marks. And I need someone who makes me stay focused.” He grins. “Of course, seeing you and imagining all kinds of things doesn’t really help. But still…” he smiles. “I need you.”
“Well,” Jun smiles warmly. “We’ll manage to get you through the year end exams too.”
“I knew it would be beneficial to start an affair with my teacher,” Masaki jokes, and to his delight Jun laughs slightly. He has a beautiful laugh. He should show it more often. He takes Jun’s face between his hands. “You are so beautiful,” he states all serious now. “So beautiful.”
Jun’s lips tug, and he looks almost sad for a moment. “I’m not,” he says, sounding tired. “I wish you could realize how ugly I actually am.”
Masaki is more than a little surprised by Jun’s words. It seems like Jun is surprised too, like he didn’t even want to say it. He chuckles all of a sudden. “Just kidding,” he says light-heartedly.
No, Masaki thinks, you are not. He wonders if Jun’s issues are similar to his, but in his caste it’s more about his self-doubts towards his intelligence and his character, with Jun it seems to be something else. He chooses not to say something though, instead he takes Jun’s hand and entangles their fingers. “Let’s check on the progress of the barbecue?” he offers. Right when he says it his stomach grumbles too, making him blush.
Jun smiles. “We definitely need to get you something edible soon,” he says, and he seems to be back to his normal self again.
They drop their hands so that they won’t get any unwanted attention and head to the barbecue. It’s the only thing in the universe that Satoshi can cook, next to fish. But apparently fire and wood and the sea awaken his baser instincts. He is wearing a simple t-shirt now, revealing his brown arms and looks so casual and comfortable like he is actually at home in this huge villa. Somewhere at the other side of the garden Nino chats with Sho.
Masaki blinks for a moment. Nino chats with Sho? Nino is smiling while he talks, gesticulating and obviously making a silly joke because Sho laughs now. Do they know each other?
Masaki isn’t sure if he should feel pissed now, curious or happy. He waits until Nino finally leaves Sho alone and goes inside the house to the restroom. Masaki follows him secretly. Nino squeals in surprise when Masaki grabs his arm and pulls him into the bathroom. This time though he has learned his lesson and checks properly if anyone is around. He doesn’t need anyone listening to them by accident. “Are you nuts!?” Nino huffs.
“Are you? Nuts?” Masaki chuckles. “Flirting with Sho-san?”
“I’m not flirting with anyone,” Nino huffs. “Get your eyes checked.”
“And here I thought we were best friends,” Masaki pretends to be hurt. “Still you keep so many secrets from me.”
Nino grumbles. “You are not fair,” he complains.
“No,” Masaki says earnestly. “You are not fair.”
Nino blushes slightly, before he opens the door to look outside. As clearly no one is around, he turns back to Masaki. “Okay, I might be flirting with him. But I’m not good at it. We’ve been meeting regularly.”
“WHAT!?” Masaki exclaims.
“Shhhhh!” Nino frowns. “Keep your voice down. He wanted help to get along with Jun. And we kind of met each other on the wrong foot a few times… coincidentally first, so he showed me his kind side and invited me to lunch. That’s how it somehow of started. Nothing happened. He still sees a kid in me. First he actually believed I’m a middle schooler.”
Masaki is quiet, trying to process the information he got. “You like him?” he asks. Sho is a difficult guy. He knows that Shingo probably hasn’t an easy job with Takuya, but they are both a lot older, they are on one level, and have a certain view on life. Takuya seems to have issues, but apparently he is only half as stiff and traditional as expected. It seems like he wants to break with the expected traditions – Jun told him he even suggested dropping the formalities between them as brothers. But Sho… he seems to be rather conservative. Also Kazu is a friend of his little brother, Sho would need to wrap his mind around that and accept it. But most importantly… “Do you like him, Kazu?”
Nino sighs. “I’m stupid for liking him, right? Because it’s hopeless.”
“You are not stupid,” Masaki argues “You are in fact thrice as smart as I am. And witty. And intelligent.”
“But?” Nino wants to know.
“He is not going to be easy to get,” Masaki tries to voice it as diplomatically as possible.
Nino looks at him for a while before chuckling. “I told you, I’m hopeless. He’ll be impossible to get.”
“Never say impossible,” Masaki says with sudden resolve. “I’ll help you! You have beauty and charm, we’ll for sure manage to make him look at you in a different way. But-” he raises a warning finger. “Next time I want details about your meetings and all.”
“Fine,” Nino grins, suddenly looking a lot happier. “Now let’s go to back to the others.” He pauses. “Thank you, Masaki, for your help. I didn’t know how to tell you. I felt so stupid for liking him.”
“It’s not stupid,” Masaki says firmly.
Kazu smiles.
When they leave the bathroom, laughing, they meet Jun at the corridor. He looks relieved for a moment, then uncertain again. “I was looking for you,” he says. “I didn’t want to disturb anything though.”
Masaki feels a bit confused. “You didn’t disturb anything.”
“It’s okay,” Jun says. “We are going to eat soon by the way. Maybe you two want to join?”
When they follow Jun outside, Nino elbows Masaki’s side. “He thinks we made out,” he whispers.
“What?” Masaki blinks. “No way!”
“Yes way,” Nino rolls his eyes. “Open your eyes.”
Masaki isn’t sure what to think about it, but throughout the afternoon Jun is rather quiet. He doesn’t pull away from his touches though, but still… Masaki wonders what made him so insecure in the past.
~~~
It’s difficult for Shingo to talk about certain things. It’s not like he is shy or introverted, but there are some things he can’t just say out loud. He can’t tell Takuya to be more open with him, because he is sure he would leave if he does so.
Takuya said he doesn’t want to be in a steady relationship, ever. First Shingo thought it’s because he plans on getting married one day, and not date a guy, but he soon realized that Takuya, as conservative as he is, doesn’t mind it at all that he sleeps with a guy.
He simply doesn’t want to be in a real relationship, no matter if it’s with a man or woman. At the same time he doesn’t enjoy it to be single. Shingo knows Takuya likes it to have him around, and he hates it to be alone.
“You are too nice, really,” Takuya says when Shingo hands him the bag full of salads and sauces they brought along. “I told you, we would be the ones cooking. Although of course it means that it’s only Jun and I who are cooking. Sho was banned from the kitchen. He always is.”
“Really?” Shingo asks in interest, happily taking any piece of information Takuya feeds him with.
“Hm, he would even set boiling water on fire.”
“You are kidding?” Against his intention Shingo has to grin. “I mean, Satoshi is horrible too. He is an artist deep inside. So he just does… something in the kitchen. Throwing everything into the pan at once.”
Takuya smiles slightly, this perfect crooked smile of him. He looks around carefully, before grabbing Shingo’s collar and pulling him closer to kiss him. Shingo gasps in surprise by that little attack. It rarely happens in semi-public that Takuya actually initiates a kiss. It’s just for a few seconds though then Takuya remembers to be careful. Shingo chuckles. “We should really deepen this talk later,” he jokes. “You are in a good mood.”
Takuya shrugs. “Not really. I had a fight with Jun.”
“Ah,” Shingo makes, in his mind trying to work with this piece of information so that it would fit Takuya being kind of relaxed at the moment. “Sorry, I don’t get it.”
“It made us talk about important things,” Takuya explains with a careful smile. “And I told them I want to drop the honorific.”
Knowing them by now, Shingo is well aware that this is a huge step forward. “Great!” he exclaims. “You’ll see! It’s just the first step, from now on you’ll be more honest to each other and open up more. And not bottle everything up inside you. The bond is there between you three, because you always loved each other. Now you just need to nourish it!”
Takuya blinks, before he chuckles. “You are always so passionate.”
“But it is something good, right?” Shingo smiles. “From now on you can step forward.”
“I wished we would have reached this point in a different way though, without anyone getting hurt,” Takuya says, all earnest now. His forehead is furrowed, and Shingo wonders what kind of troubling emotions he is facing right now.
“What’s wrong?” he asks carefully.
“I hit Jun,” Takuya admits all of a sudden, looking guilty. “I never did before. I never want to again. He pushed my wrong buttons on that evening, but that’s not an excuse.”
“Okay,” Shingo starts carefully, sensing that he is stepping on thin ice here. On very thin ice. Takuya is rarely sharing such private information with him. The fact that he is now means he is troubled enough that he can’t keep it inside and especially doesn’t have anyone else to talk with about it. “It won’t happen again, you are not going to do it again.” Shingo takes a step forward. “You snapped. That’s bad. But it doesn’t turn you into a bad person. It won’t happen like that again.”
“It’s not just that. I yelled at him too.”
Shingo frowns. “But we do that too,” he argues. “Just the last time Satoshi yelled at Masaki. And a few weeks ago I yelled at Satoshi. So what? We can’t always get along.”
“It’s different when I fight with Sho,” Takuya explains, raising Shingo’s confusion. Takuya is feeding him with quite some information, but it’s hard to fit it all together. “Because Sho is older. We argue differently. When it’s Jun I always feel bad afterwards. I feel like I have a lot more power than he has, and that it’s never a fair fight.”
“Takuya-kun,” Shingo smiles. “You grew up differently than I did. Still, all you do is think about your family. You try to make your brothers lead the life they want and consider their feelings. Of course you have to learn too. I think you are dealing with things well.”
“I hope you are right,” Takuya says with a deep unsettling frown.
Shingo swallows. “Takuya, I want to ask you something. Did your f-“
“Not now.” Takuya shakes his head. “Whatever you want to ask me, you can’t ask it here. Wait for us to be alone. All alone.”
Shingo knows he is right, but at the same time, he knows that if he waits for hours he won’t find the courage again. There has never been a more open moment between them. “Your father abused you, didn’t he?”
A/N: So, Shingo asked an important question. What will Takuya answer though? We'll hear more about that next chapter! The next two chapters will not be as Junba-focused as before, because I need to work towards the 'next huge thing' happening between them. Before that I want to lay out and tie together the other loose plot ends. ^^
Oh, and I haven't forgotten about Satoshi of course. His plot starts kind of late, but there will be something, I promise. Also let's not forget the creep that was after Nino and Ryo >>
To everyone who nominated me for the arashiawards: THANK YOU! Omg, I seriously couldn't believe it that quite some of my fics showed up. I know I don't quite face a chance in certain categories, but being nominated in so many categories means a lot to me. THANK YOU everyone!!!!
