Sound of Silence Chapter 5

[lilly0]

Title: Sound of Silence 5/?
Pairing: Sakumoto, guests appearances by the rest of Arashi (maybe with a surprise side-pairing ;-)), and some others
Rating: up to R
Genre: AU, romance, maybe a bit suspense
Plot: It's in the middle of the night when Sho, a wealthy young business man, stumbles over an unconscious young man, beaten up and curled up in a dark alley. Tired from the way his life goes Sho decides to do something good and takes the man home. Once he wakes up however Sho realizes that the young man has forgotten all about his past, everything he is, and has lost his voice too. Everything that remained from his existence is his name: Matsumoto Jun. But who is he? What happened to him? Why was he lying on the street, beaten-up? And what kind of trauma did he encounter to loose his voice?
Note: This is the story that won the poll on my journal ^^ So, I had started writing it before the poll, kind of lost motivation in the middle of it and then with everyone's encouragement I picked it up again, and voilà :D  I hope this is going to be really interesting for you! There is some suspense in it, and we'll gradually uncover Jun's past.

Jun looked a bit sad all of a sudden, right after they messed around. Weird, he seemed to be genuinely happy first, hugging Sho for letting him work for Aiba, and then when he touched him he suddenly looked sad. Sho sighs slightly, well, maybe he suddenly remembered something or he got reminded of the situation he is in.

 

Sho sighs again, turning to the side and eyeing the wall in front of him. It’s dark but he can still see silhouettes of his surroundings, he has never liked it to sleep in a pitch-black bedroom.

 

Why did he touch Jun? Why did he touch his cheek? He is so unbelievably stupid. Now Jun probably thinks he has lost it and wants to make a move on him, take advantage of his weak situation. Maybe that’s why he looked so sad and-

 

He hears Jun yell all of a sudden.

 

Sho is up his feet immediately, hurrying out of his room and pressing the alarm button they got from Nagase immediately. When he rips the door to Jun’s room open, the latter is sitting in his bed, eyes widened and looking horrified.

 

“Jun-kun,” Sho says softly. “What happened?” A look at Jun’s embarrassed expression tells him he probably had a bad dream.

 

He hears footsteps behind him, noticing that Shun already comes to their aid. Good to know that they are so fast. In case something truly bad happens, they will be safe. Sho turns around, smiling apologetically. “I’m sorry, it was a false alarm.”

 

Shun lets out a relieved sigh. “Better a false alarm than a real one,” he says. “And it’s good that you are careful. No need to apologize.”

 

Sho smiles warmly at these kind words. “Thank you, Shun-san, please let me make this up to you and also thank you for your hard work by inviting you for dinner on Sunday.” Shun wants to decline immediately, but Sho beats him to it. “We really would like to have you around more. It’s also good for us, you know?” he says and winks. Shun chuckles slightly, and nods.

 

Sho feels content with how this turned out. To be honest, he feels like Jun can need a friend or someone he can get close to and talk with. Aiba, Ohno and Nino are Sho’s friends and although they are opening up to Jun now, it’s still difficult for Jun to talk to them. With Shun he might be able to find a friend though.

 

Once Shun is away, Sho approaches Jun carefully. “You had a bad dream?” he asks softly.

 

Jun rubs his head in embarrassment. He takes his notebook. I… don’t know.

 

“You mean, you don’t know if you dreamed something or if it’s actually your memory?” Sho asks, trying to sound as soothing as possible. He sits down at the edge of Jun’s bed. “What did you dream?”

 

I was with someone. A man.

 

“Did you see his face?” Sho wants to know.

 

Jun shakes his head.

 

“Was it someone you love?”

 

Again Jun shakes his head. I felt scared.

 

To Sho’s horror there seem to be tears brimming in his eyes suddenly. Shit! He is seriously bad with people crying in front of him, like horribly bad! He doesn’t know what to say or do then when someone cries, and how to comfort this person. Sho does the best he can do now and just clumsily wraps an arm around Jun’s shoulder and pats his head with his free hand.

 

Jun chuckles all of a sudden. Thank you. Sho blushes slightly when he reads Jun’s note. He sucks so bad at comforting someone, still Jun thanks him for his weak and hopeless attempt.

 

After a while he goes back to his room, so that they both can get some sleep, much to his surprise it only takes ten minutes until the door to his room gets opened slightly. Sho sits up again. “Jun-kun?”

 

Jun nods and Sho switches on his light to be able to read Jun’s note. Can’t sleep. Is it okay…?

 

For a while Sho wonders what Jun means. What is okay? Then it dawns on him, and he chuckles. How cute. “Yes, but I warn you, I snore.”

 

Jun smiles. That’s okay.

 

“You know,” Sho says when Jun lies down next to him. “I sometimes have a nightmare too. And I’m not sure if it’s my memories then or my fears or simply a dream. Maybe it’s a mix out of all of these aspects.” Jun nods, signalling him that he listens. “I’ve lost someone once,” Sho admits.

 

So that’s why you are so kind and help me?

 

Sho shrugs. “Maybe.” He is not sure if that’s the entire truth though. Sure, when he found Jun, he did think about his past and about not letting this chance slip, but it’s not the reason why he continues to be kind to Jun. “It’s not the only reason though. You are touching something deep inside me,” he says with a soft smile. “It’s like I lost something and you brought it back.”

 

Jun seems to need a while to process his words, then he nods though, a wary smile on his lips.

 

~~~

 

 

Aiba’s mouth drops open when he eyes the breakfast in front of Sho. There are five layers of matcha-pancakes in front of him, with whipped cream and freshly made sauce out of berries, with a few drops of caramel. Then there is a freshly made Turkish coffee with a few marshmallows in the cup.

 

Sho-san likes his coffee strong, Jun explains by showing Aiba his notebook. And sweet.

 

Aiba nods like in a daze, eyeing Sho in surprise. “You lucky idiot,” he mumbles. “Just watch out you won’t get too chubby.”

 

Sho bites into his pancakes with joy, grinning brightly. “Jealous?”

 

“So he can cook?” Aiba says when Jun disappears into the kitchen to wash some dishes.

 

Sho nods. “He found out a while ago when he instinctively shoved me out of the kitchen. He decides he wants to cook from now on.”

 

Aiba blinks, eyeing the kitchen door thoughtfully, before he bends forward a bit. “Don’t get mad now at me for asking,” he whispers. “But… do you believe him?”

 

Sho sighs. He has asked himself the same question over and over again. Does he believe Jun? Does he believe he can’t speak or doesn’t know anything? The doctors said it could be a traumatic reaction, yes, but can it really be that strong? It’s just… “There is no lie in his eyes,” he whispers back. “I’m not sure if it makes sense, but sometimes his face is so open, and he looks frustrated and desperate then. So, yes, I believe him. I don’t know yet if he is a victim though. Does that make sense?”

 

“It does!” Aiba smiles happily. “I believe him too,” he chirps. Sho is inclined to feel relieved, but Aiba has always been cursed by an unbelievably good heart and he would have faith in almost everyone. For now Sho can only believe in his instincts.

 

And his instincts tell him that Jun is desperately searching for who he is, but scared to do so at the same time. What will the truth tell him? It has to be a crushing thought when you don’t even know if you are the good or the bad guy.

 

He is well aware of Jun’s doubts and fears and worries, though they never talk about it and though he never asks Jun directly, but it is there, clearly in Jun’s mysterious and melancholic eyes. He doesn’t know why, but somehow he feels like he is being able to read in them. Ohno told him jokingly that he was nuts and maybe he is. Maybe Jun is some sort of serial killer, maybe he was part of the yakuza… he doesn’t know one tiny bit about the person he is living with, hence Ohno is right, he might be insane. But every time he looks into Jun’s affectionate and trustful eyes, this look he is only showing him and no one else, he can’t let him go. It is impossible. Jun is his responsibility. Maybe he was part of something bad once, but now he isn’t. The Jun in front of him is so innocent and sweet, it’s impossible for Sho not to believe in him.

 

“You know, he is really talented with making the guests at my bar loosen up and have fun,” Aiba points out happily. “So glad you found him! Don’t hesitate and find more guys and bring them to me.”

 

Jun comes back right at this moment, hearing what Aiba says. He blushes and shakes his head at the same time. Aiba chuckles. “Sho shouldn’t find anymore guys, right?” he asks, winking slightly at Jun.

 

Sho doesn’t quite understand what Aiba means by that, he also doesn’t understand why Jun blushes even more at his words. He forgets about it when Jun presents him a plate with freshly made omelette. It’s so freaking good~

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

 

The police have considered it as dangerous to put Jun’s face in the newspapers or to search for his identity directly. After all no one knows where he came from, what he did, or what someone else did to him. The uncertainty of his being and his life makes Jun sleep restless at night, catching away the peaceful hours he should have when he goes to bed. Because what if he isn’t all that much of a good person? What kind of things did he do previously? Maybe he was a bad person, and just because he is kind now doesn’t mean he was the same before. Thoughts like this drive Jun nuts, and it doesn’t help much that he constantly dreams of how he lies in someone else’s arms, and not in a romantic way at all. He doesn’t lie in this person’s arms to cuddle, they are having sex. He just can’t see the other’s face, and on top of that he freaking feels nothing.

 

First he thought it’s because he isn’t sure if it’s a memory or not, but sometimes he sees glimpses of something. Like this sign with the golden capital letters which gives him an uncomfortable feeling. And sometimes he is with someone in bed he feels scared of. And then his panic whenever he steps in a hospital.

 

The fact that he feels nothing when he has sex with someone is truly unsettling.

 

“You really are great at this job,” Aiba chirps while he accompanies him home. Everyone, except for himself, agreed that it would be safer for him not to go home alone. Hence Aiba, Sho or one of the other guys always accompanies him.

 

Jun uses his phone to type. He bought it with the first salary Aiba paid him. Actually Sho wanted to buy one for him, but it would feel so wrong to take even more of his kindness and money. You think so?

 

“Yes,” Aiba chirps. “Maybe you’d like to try mixing some cocktails the next time? I’ll show you. I think you could do it.”

 

Jun’s head perks up. He can really do something useful for Aiba? You really think so?

 

“It’s not that difficult, Jun-kun,” Aiba giggles. “You pretend like it’s something major to do. We are not going to save the world through our cocktails, you know?”

 

I’m just so happy I can help!

 

Aiba smiles at him and grabs his arm. He has a pair of the kindest eyes ever. “You are a nice guy,” he says softly. “I didn’t hire you out of pity, you know? I hired you because you were doing a great job and I need you. I just want you to know that.”

 

Jun feels his heart making a happy jump. A huge one to be honest, he feels so relieved and thankful all of a sudden that he wraps his arms around Aiba’s arm and squeezes it. He doesn’t know how else to show his feelings, he has still not regathered his voice.

 

Aiba seems to be flustered and happy too, because he pats his head. “Sho found himself a sweet puppy,” he jokes. “I want one too.”

 

Jun grins. Sorry, I’m unique.

 

Aiba laughs. “You are,” he admits. “You are unique. Sho will sooner or later realize it too. So don’t worry.”

 

Jun blushes furiously, is it so obvious? That he likes Sho? That he would do anything to earn himself Sho’s love and respect? He doesn’t even know when it happened but from the first moment on he felt drawn to Sho because of his kindness and of his warmth and of the way he takes Jun seriously. He acts like there is nothing wrong with Jun, like Jun isn’t broken or anything, like he is good the way he is.

 

To hide his embarrassment Jun falls behind a bit, pretending to tie his loose shoelaces when he suddenly hears a voice behind him. “Yuki!”

 

Jun blinks for a moment, then shrugs. He is not Yuki, he is Jun, and still somehow he feels drawn to the voice. To his shock the voice doesn’t go away, instead he can feel a guy approaching him and patting his shoulder. “Yuki, is it you!?”

 

Jun blinks in surprise, staring at the guy in wonder. He has light brown hair, pretty, strong features. He takes his phone. I’m sorry. Who are you?

 

The guy laughs for a moment, but when Jun continues to blink at him, he gets earnest. “But… you aren’t Yuki?”

 

Jun shakes his head. Never heard the name before.

 

“You can’t talk?”

 

Jun nods. Sorry, I can only communicate like this.

 

The guy stares at him in surprise, a look of mere wonder reflecting in his eyes. “You look like his spitting image,” he stutters. “Just… your whole aura is different. Maybe… I mean, maybe you are his doppelganger.”

 

I’m sorry, I don’t know this Yuki.

 

The guy nods and bows slightly. “My name is Toma,” he says. Before Jun can even react, he hands him a card with his contacts. “I don’t know where Yuki is,” he says. “Please contact me when you see someone resembling you, okay?”

 

Jun nods warily, watching how the guy smiles at him and leaves. He should probably throw the paper away and never contact this person, because… how high is the chance that he is really the doppelganger of someone? Jun’s heart starts beating. This Toma probably has a few answers for him. Jun carefully hides the paper in his pocket and heads towards Aiba, who is waiting for him.

 

“Who was that?” Aiba asks curiously.

 

For a moment Jun is inclined to tell him the truth, then however he just smiles. Someone who was asking for the right way. Not that I was a great help though.

 

“I see.” Aiba smiles and nods and for an instant Jun feels bad for lying at him, but then… he doesn’t want to drag anyone into this and it’s not like he is going to do something dangerous. He is just going to meet this Toma guy.