Your voice, frozen in the wind... Chapter 10

[lilly0]

Title: Your voice, frozen in the wind, surrounds me like snow petals Chapter 10 (of 12)
Pairing: KameRyo, other guest appearances
Rating: PG-13 (for this chapter)
Genre: AU, romance, bit angst (like in every romance story), It might be the hurt&comfort type of fic
Multi-chapter
Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything else JE-related. But the story is mine of course^^
Summary: Being a privileged boy out of a rich family doesn’t mean you get more love. Kame knows that just too well. All day long he fights against this monster called loneliness, until a new boy joins his class. He is coming out of a different background and just as lonely as he is.
Kame fights against the feelings that are awakening inside him, not able to trust anyone around him. But then he starts to get strange anonymous messages, his heart warming up towards a person he doesn’t even know…and to this strange boy in his class.
Dedicated to: sweetspicyhot. As a belated birthday present! I really really hope you will like this, my friend!

“Ryo-chan?” Yoko peeked into Ryo’s room. “I already called you for dinner half an hour ago. Did you forget?” He actually had planned to be upset, just because Ryo would get a bit panicked then, which was kinda cute.  But a look into Ryo’s face made him blink in surprise. He immediately realized that something was off.

“Ryo?” Yoko hurried to the younger one’s side. “What happened?” When Ryo didn’t answer him, not even reacting in any way, Yoko shook him slightly to make him realize that he was in the room.

The moment Ryo looked up, Yoko almost froze for a moment – He needed a moment to regather his senses, before he jumped out of the way so that Ryo’s pillow wouldn’t hit him. After the pillow there followed a book. Yoko kicked all the things Ryo could possibly throw at him out of the way, so that Ryo wouldn’t use them.

Ryo glared at Yoko in utter anger. “It’s all your fault!” he hissed. “You told me he is a good guy! You told me I should be nice! You forced me to open up! You said he will protect me! You scolded me for not treating him like a friend.” Ryo was hammering with his fists against Yoko’s chest now. “It’s all your fault!”

Yoko stayed quiet throughout this outburst. Ryo hadn’t had such an outburst since almost two years. When he was younger often released his anger and desperation like that. But somehow this here was different, because it was so sad and desperate. Yoko felt tears burning in his eyes, but he had to pull himself together. The last thing that was needed now was him starting to cry out of pity and sympathy. It wouldn’t help at all to get them through this situation.

With swift movements Yoko grabbed Ryo’s wrists, holding his hands back from hurting any of them any further. Despite the weak look of Yoko’s body, he was unusually strong, holding Ryo back without any further problems. He took a deep breath. “Stop that Ryo.” his voice sounded low and calm, his eyes looking at the younger one earnestly but also warmly. “Now!”

Ryo took a few deep breathes, struggling a bit against Yoko’s grip, but he didn’t feel like fighting anymore. He simply let his arms drop down, only slightly surprised that Yoko didn’t let go of his wrists. He avoided it to look at the older one. “Sorry…”

Yoko sighed in relief, his thumbs stroking over Ryo’s wrists. “It’s okay,” he said softly, not letting go of the younger one’s hands.

“It’s not,” Ryo argued.

Yoko grinned at that, letting go of Ryo’s hands and hugging him for a moment. Then he let go. “Really, one can’t let you alone.” He sat down next to Ryo now, putting an arm around his shoulder. “What happened?” he asked softly.

“Nothing,” Ryo answered.

“Oh yes,” Yoko pulled his eyebrows up teasingly, smirking at Ryo’s annoyed expression. “This here didn’t sound like nothing. So…why were you yelling at me? What is my fault?”

“It’s not your fault,” Ryo admitted. “It’s mine.”

“What is your fault?” Yoko pressed the point further.

Ryo shrugged. “I let him get closer to me.”

“Who?” Yoko frowned. “Kamenashi-kun?” When Ryo nodded his head slightly, he sighed deeply. He knew this wasn’t about a tiny fight. Ryo wasn’t the type of guy who would make a fuss over such a simple thing. “What did he do?”

“First, he didn’t pick up my calls,” Ryo explained warily, mainly because he was well aware of the fact that Yoko wouldn’t let him go without an explanation. “And when I finally reached him, he told me he doesn’t like me anymore. And that it was a mistake to get together with me.”

Yoko blinked when Ryo had finished his explanation, feeling seriously confused. “What? Are you sure?” His blushed slightly when he saw how Ryo’s glance darkened. “Sorry, of course you are sure. But I have my problems with understanding this…”

“What’s so difficult to get?” Ryo shrugged, his expression blank. “He thought he liked me, hence he approached me. Then he lost his interest again.” Ryo chuckled, almost like it wouldn’t affect him. “I guess I’m not worth it. I’m just some worthless piece of trash.”

For a moment Yoko stared at Ryo, feeling totally paralyzed, his thoughts spinning around. Then he breathed in sharply, grabbing the other’s shoulders and shaking him. “Don’t say that!” he huffed. “YOU ARE NOT A PIECE OF TRASH. How often do I have to tell you!? Let that get into your stubborn head, IDIOT!” Yoko sighed slightly, trying to calm down again when he saw Ryo’s surprised expression over his outburst. He let go of the younger one’s shoulders, looking at him warmly. “You are wonderful they way you are. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are as precious as a person like everyone else. Believe me?”

“I don’t know…” Ryo admitted honestly, the look in his eyes a bit clouded. Hence Yoko decided to go for another approach.

“What am I for you? Am I worthless? Am I a piece of trash?”

Ryo looked at Yoko in serious shock. “Of course not!” he called out. “You are amazing. You gave me a place which I can call ‘home’. You are watching out for me. Whenever I need you, you are there. You are like my friend and brother and father in person.” He smiled warmly at the other. “It’s difficult sometimes between us, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. Without you I would have been lost. You are family.”

Yoko blushed at these words, his heart filling with joy. Then he smiled brightly. “See? And why do you think you are trash then? Aren’t we just really similar to each other? You said I’m like your friend, your brother, your father. And for me you are like my friend, my little brother, my son. Maybe also you gave me a reason to fight for my life? Maybe you turned this place into home for me?” Yoko smiled. “The moment you finish school, I’ll force you into university. And I won’t stop to watch out for you. I would have adopted you already years ago, but I couldn’t. Adoption is complicated, you know?” he paused, looking down at his fingers nervously. “Now I could,” he added silently. “I already checked on everything. I’m allowed to adopt you. If you want me to… If not, we can just stay here.”

Ryo’s eyes went wide at these words. For a tiny, silly moment he thought that Yoko was joking here. Then he gasped. “You… mean it?”

“Yes,” Yoko said silently. “You already are like my little brother after all. I can’t let the responsibility go so easily.”

“But your job… you can’t continue working here…”

Yoko chuckled. “There are so many gorgeous people working here. Of course I feel sad to leave this place and the other kids, but I know they are save here and they have people around them who love them and support them. Besides…I already checked on some places and I found a job. I could start working at the organisation for street children. I would love that.”

Ryo still had difficulties to grasp what Yoko had told him. He knew Yoko was always there for him, but this here was different. It meant a lot of work for the other. He would really be willing to do that? “Adopting me?” he stuttered, not believing that someone in the world actually really wanted him as his son or brother.

Yoko smiled nervously, not sure what Ryo was thinking about his offer. “Yes, that’s what I want. But please, don’t feel obliged to accept. I won’t feel hurt if you don’t want it. We can just continue like before…” he paused, looking at the other one warily. “So, just tell me. Do you want it?”

Ryo stayed quite for a moment, then he chuckled. “I guess I want it…” He was surprised himself how shaky his voice sounded. “You really want that? Are you sure?”

“Really.” Yoko nodded his head, smiling brightly. “As difficult as it is sometimes, I can’t imagine being without it.” He felt how joy was overwhelming him all of a sudden. He was so happy that Ryo had accepted his offer. This here would be a new start for them.“We’ll be able to lead our lives together from now on.”

Ryo frowned. “True… this means I’ll have to listen to your rules.” He pulled an eyebrow up teasingly. “You are quite strict. Maybe I should still decline your offer?”

Yoko laughed at that. “You already ARE listening to my rules anyways. Where is the difference? It’s just difficult for you, because you are so stubborn.”

“I’m not,” Ryo argued.

Yoko chuckled. “If you say so…” He paused. “So let’s say…Rule number one is…”

“You are already setting up rules?” Ryo couldn’t help but smirk. This was so like Yoko. He had never felt that cherished, save and important before.

“Yeah,” Yoko grinned. “It’s about you. So I have to be prepared.” He tilted his head thoughtfully. “Rule number one is: Be honest.” He smiled. “So I’ll just start with this rule and tell you what I think about this situation with Kamenashi-kun.”

Against his intention, Ryo got immensely curious. “What do you think?”

“That Kamenashi-kun is punishing himself by closing up,” Yoko explained.

“Eh?” Ryo blinked. “Why would he do that?”

Yoko had to work hard to suppress a laugh. “I can’t believe that out of all you are asking that.”

Ryo’s gaze was confused, before his eyes widened. “Wait… you are right…”

“Of course I am.” Yoko sighed. “Sometimes when people act in a moment of fear or pain, there is a reason for it deep beneath the surface. Something that’s driving them. Kamenashi-kun is also a closed character.”

Ryo stayed quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands. “Yes,” he finally answered. “I understand what you mean…”

******

“Kazuya,” Kame’s father put an arm around his son’s shoulders when they were standing in front of his mother’s grave. “Now the both of us have to stick together.”

“Yes,” Kame added silently. He looked down at his feet, trying to remember all the moments he had spent with his mother. Then his eyes filled with tears of despair, because he felt something he had never thought he would feel in this situation. Loneliness. Not exactly sadness. But it filled him with sorrow that she left him alone. As if she had never really loved him.

He rubbed over his hair a bit. “Say…”

“Hm?”

“Why did she leave us?”

His father winced a bit, sighing deeply. “I don’t know it. I don’ t understand,” he answered silently. “Maybe I should lie to you about this, maybe I should be dishonest, but I can’t. Truth is, I feel sad and lonely and desperate… and guilty. Didn’t I read the signs correctly? Why wasn’t I able to stop her?”

Kame frowned at these words, looking at his father directly. “It’s not your fault,” he told him straight-forwardly. “I know there is no proof for you to make you believe that. But it’s not your fault.  I know that for sure.”

The man smiled warily, squeezing Kame’s shoulders a bit. “Thanks.” He paused. “You know what? From now on let’s learn to talk, alright? I don’t want to loose another important person in my life.”

Kame flinched a bit at that, remembering what he had done to Ryo just the evening before. He had hurt him, he had lost him. It was over. “Yes, let’s do that…”

******
Note: Dear friends and readers! Thanks so much for all your support <3  To thank you I opened up a Request Post. If you feel like requesting a one-shot with a specific pairing or situation you can do so HERE.

Comments

[lilly0]

Thanks so much for your lovely comment!! *huggles*

Awwwwwwwwwww, so happy that you liked Yoko's part here. He really is a little hero here, right? He is looking after Ryo and supporting him. Now these two can finally become a real family ^^
(*lol* You are right, I bet Yoko will be quite strict and he and Ryo will have more than only one fight ^^)

Now, the 'only' thing left is that Kame and Ryo make up...