lilly0: (Sakumoto dark)
[personal profile] lilly0 posting in [community profile] yume_to_ame
Title: Words
Pairing/Group: Sakumoto
Rating: PG
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] ivenclaire
Genre: slice of life, friendship
Warnings: *none
Summary: It would be a lie to say that Sho is his favourite person at the moment.
Note: First fanfic in two years.


„Hi.“

Jun raises his head a bit when he hears a well-known voice behind him. He turns his head slightly to throw a glance at the person who was just interrupting his silence. The door closes behind Sho and the latter leans against it. It would be a lie to say that Sho is his favourite person at the moment, the person he wants to meet right now. Still… “Hi.”, he answers instinctively. If someone says hello, you have to react.

Sho seems relieved. He takes a few steps closer and sits down on the sofa. Not the one Jun is currently resting on. There are two sofas, a black one and a violet one. Sho’s sitting on the violet one.

“Want one?” Sho suddenly asks and pulls a bottle out of his bag.

Jun raises an eyebrow at that, but when Sho throws the bottle towards him, he catches it with one hand. “Peach juice?”, he asks with slight amusement in his voice.

Sho blushes slightly at that. “There’s no beer in the recording studio.”, he finally explains.

Jun nods his head. He knows that. He opens the bottle and takes a sip from it. It’s horribly sweet, but at least cold. Apparently Sho just bought it from the vending machine. “Want a sip too?”

Sho nods his head and reaches out for the bottle. He shivers in disgust when he takes a sip. “Uh.”, he huffs. “Horrible.”

“Really?”, Jun snorts. “Doesn’t it fit Prince Sakurai Sho’s majestic taste?”, he teases lamely. But he can hear for himself how there is no real bite in his remark. Sho heard it too, because he puts the bottle on the table now and shifts it between his hands. “Sorry.”, he finally says silently. “I know. I was the one who started it.”

“Why did you start it?” Jun wants to know.

Sho shrugs. “I was in a bad mood, I guess.”

“And take it out on me?”

“Sorry.”, Sho repeats. He neither raises his eyes when he says that, nor does he voice what he really wants to say. But Jun can hear it anyway. I’m sorry for blaming you for things that weren’t your fault. I just wanted to hurt you. Sorry for calling you an unforgiving, immature  ass.

Jun can almost feel the thick air around them. “Me too.”, he finally says. I’m sorry I said that you are an arrogant, heartless prick. And that you put your own selfish interests above others’.

“Hm.”, Sho nods, but stays quiet. He finally lets the bottle of peach juice slip from his hands and plays with a thread of his jacket instead. Then for the first time today he shifts his gaze towards Jun directly. Jun can clearly see the guilt in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have said that you get on my nerves. That I wished you weren’t part of Arashi. That it would be better without you.” That you are without color.

“Yeah.”, Jun answers even though Sho has only mumbled the last words, almost impossible for Jun to hear. He feels a bit sick when he remembers their fight. Yes, maybe, that hurt quite a bit. “That was pretty low.”

“Well, your punch was low too.”, Sho jokes half-heartedly.

“If I hit your face, our management will scold me.”, Jun answers dryly.

“Yeah. No one sees a bruise on the hips.” Sho’s voice sounds husky from embarrassment. “I deserved it.”, he admits.

“Hm.” Jun is not sure if he agrees with that. Mainly because he hates fistfights or people – including himself – getting violent. Not that Sho didn’t deserve it. Damn, yes, he did! “I have feelings too, you know.” Jun doesn’t even know why he is saying that now, so honest and blunt, and why he sounds so damn hurt. Normally, he’s good at hiding these things, but today he just feels so totally worn out.

Sho looks really sad all of a sudden, his eyes glinting with sudden guilt. He bows clumsily. “I know.”, he says.

The sight in front of Jun’s eyes gets blurry. It burns slightly behind his eyelids, but he has learned how to suppress his tears and stop them from flowing. So, his eyes are only bit wet and shiny, when he opens them again. At the same time Sho is looking everywhere just not directly into his eyes. “Cigarette.”

“Hm?” Sho looks up in surprise and finally dares to look at Jun directly.

“I want one.”

“But you quit smoking.”, Sho dares to oppose. But when Jun just shrugs, he drops the subject. With a sigh he gets up. “I’m going to fetch one from Nino.”

“You should take one too.”

“That’s what I intended to do.”

“Sho-kun?”

When Sho turns around at the door, Jun doesn’t know anymore what he originally wanted to say when he called him back. His head and heart feel a bit empty all of a sudden. He wonders how long it will take for him to forget what happened between them, to let go. He wonders how long he will actually feel hurt. He can see how Sho looks at him uncomfortably, so he coughs. “When you come back, fetch a beer somewhere. The peach juice indeed is horrible”, he mumbles.

Sho nods slightly, but Jun can see that he knows. That he has basically read his thoughts before and that for a moment Jun’s eyes might have given away too much. Jun feels a bit annoyed at that. Why is it so much easier with Ohno, Aiba and even Nino? He hardly gets hurt by them, hardly hurts them himself and if they fight, it’s mostly over smaller things. It’s so easy to make up with them. With Sho it’s different. It always has been. He doesn’t want it to be like that though, with tons of unspoken, painful things between them. He tries as hard as he can to recall all the nice things Sho’s ever done for him and all the stuff that annoys him about Sho, but those make Sho into the person he is, a part of Jun’s life. Wether he likes it or not. It doesn’t help much, but it still makes him feel a little better. So he turns his head once more before Sho can leave the room. “Oh, and Sho-kun?”

Sho halts again. There’s a long silence between them until Sho coughs a bit. “Hm?”

“I’m taking it back.”, Jun muses.

Sho’s surprised. “What do you want to take back?”

“My apology.” Jun answers dryly. “You certainly are a heartless prick.” Ah, he has to admit, saying that made him feel a bit better.

Sho’s lips shiver a bit. He is almost smiling. “Unforgiving jerk.”

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