Steady constant (OkaYama)
Oct. 17th, 2015 09:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lilly0 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
yume_to_ameTitle: Steady constant
Pairing/Group: Yamada/Keito (OkaYama)
Rating: PG-13
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
silverdoll14
Genre: romance, established
Summary: Keito is a constant pressence in his life, the only real one. Even though they deal with their problems and worries differently, even though they fight sometimes, he remains his constant.
Note: HSJ is really growing on me :D Comments appreciated of course <3
Keito is a constant pressence in his life, the only real one.
When Keito is upset with something or someone, he doesn’t yell. He stays silent instead.
“Are you mad?” Yamada sometimes asks. Keito shakes his head and declines but Yamada knows it’s just a lie.
When he is sad, he stays even more silent.
If he is truly mad, he’ll suddenly switch to English. “I can only curse in English”, he explained once, much to Chinen’s and Yuya’s delight.
Keito is interesting like that, and it fascinates Yamada weirdly. It’s also so remarkable how calmly Keito can endure his temper tantrums or his weird requests.
“What now?” Keito asks, while he tries to put the candlewick in the middle of the candle-shape Yamada tries to hold steady. It’s filled with hot wax already.
“Well.” Yamada blinks. “I’ve no idea.” He feels a little frustrated with himself though, despite the fact that Keito doesn’t complain. He lets go of the candle in a sudden angry outburst. “I hate that garbage,” he huffs.
Then he leaves for his kitchen. He needs to vent out his frustration, and he does it the best way possible: by baking. He hates artistic fails – like failing over making a damn candle, especially since he wanted to make it in first place and convinced Keito to help – OMG how embarrassing.
Yamada’s cheeks heat up a little at that thought and now he even walked out on him. Could he get any more embarrassing? Definitely not. He kneads the dough with force until he feels a cool hand against his neck. He squeals, and Keito smiles a bit. “Letting it out on the cake?” he asks calmly and kisses Yamada’s neck softly. Then he leans his chin against Yamada’s shoulder and looks at what Yamada is doing right now.
Yamada can’t help an affectionate smile. His smile grows from affectionate to surprised, and then to downright amazed when Keito moves his left hand and places a candle on the kitchen counter.
“It worked!?” Yamada breaths out. “How did you do that?”
“I did nothing,” Keito explains. “Your manual was perfect. It just needed some time to cool. That’s all.”
“Hm.” Yamada chuckles. “You are pretty skilled.” His chuckle grows when he can feel Keito’s fingers underneath his shirt. “What are we doing?” he pulls an eyebrow up, eyeing back behind him.
Keito grins. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Yamada smirks while he turns around. He raises his hands, covered in flour. When he wiggles with his fingers, some dried mixture of flour and egg even drops to the ground. “You know, it will get dirty.”
“Awesome,” Keito nods earnestly and wraps his arms around Yamada’s waist, pulling him closer. When he feels Keito’s lips against his, Yamada leans back a bit in his arms, stretching slightly – hello height difference, screw you! – hands resting on Keito’s arm first before they move up into his hair. Afterwards Keito’s hair, his clothes and some parts of his body might be covered in flour but right now, none of them minds.
~~~
When Keito is sad, he hardly ever shows it, but there are some slight signs which one just has to learn to read. It’s the way he tilts his head slightly, the way his fingers brush over his guitar without him really looking at it. His gaze just wanders to somewhere else. A point in the distance, something no one else can see right now.
Yamada knocks with a can of juice against his head. There is no alcohol in the recording studio anyway. Keito looks up in surprise, a sudden smile gracing his lips.
“You alright?” Yamada asks.
“Hm,” Keito says. “I am.”
Yamada knows it’s a lie, and that Keito just doesn’t want to talk about it. He sits down next to him now, an arm around Keito’s shoulder, head leaning against Keito’s. “Play something for me?” he asks. A glance to his watch tells him they still have a few minutes before the others return from their break.
“Of course.”
Yamada listens intently while Keito lets his fingers roam over the strings of his guitar. He is so cool, Yamada thinks and says it out loud. “You are cool, you know that, right?”
Keito smiles, finally an honest smile. He brushes his nose against Yamada’s. “I’m trying,” he jokes and puts his guitar aside. “Thanks for being there. It’s nothing serious. Just my father.”
“Ah,” Yamada sighs. Again, he thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. “It’s going to get better,” he promises. “I swear. He is just in a difficult age.”
At that joke, Keito has to laugh. Yamada is pretty proud about that.
~~~
Yamada knows that he can basically throw anything at Keito, starting from harsh words to cups and even plates.
Keito never yells. He hardly shows his anger anyways. Just sometimes, in very rare occasions, he can get pissed too. He doesn’t like jealous temper tantrums, and most of the time, Yamada actually keeps that in consideration. Just sometimes, he slips too, fuck it, he knows it’s stupid. On top of that, getting jealous of Keito meeting someone from the band is even more stupid because they are friends, and he doesn’t own Keito. They both have other friends too and meet up with them separately. He just feels weird when Keito shows his beautiful rare Keito-smile to anyone but him. Especially when he gets teased by Hikaru because of it.
So this time when he throws a plate into Keito’s direction, Keito doesn’t try to catch it. He steps aside and lets it get smashed against the wall. “Sometimes you are so fucking complicated,” he huffs.
In a normal situation, Yamada would have winced at Keito raising his voice in any way. But this isn’t normal, and it’s not a casual situation. It’s him being in a fucking rage! “And you are so damn introverted sometimes!” he yells. “How should I know that you like me, when you never say it properly.”
“Well, I’m sticking with you despite this here,” Keito shoots back and points at the scattered pieces of the plate. “Isn’t that enough proof!?”
“The hell it is!” Yamada spats out. “You just don’t love me.”
“Damn it,” Keito’s eyes are a little darker than usual, his brows are furrowed. “I can’t believe you fucking mean that! Leave me alone!” With that he grabs his keys and his wallet, leaving.
Keito has said the last words in English. Yamada blinks. He didn’t understand – only something about fucking and he is pretty sure that Keito didn’t mean any action in bed. Whatever – Yamada shoots a glare at the now closed door of his apartment. Then he heads to the kitchen and does what he always does when he needs to let steam off.
Dessert.
He settles for cupcakes because he has all the ingredients at home for them. He is making several of them, not noticing how the hours pass while he kneads the dough firmly, before concentrating more on his task and putting more careful attention to it. When he puts the cream on top and garnish it with little sugar pearls and butterflies, he is all calm again. It suddenly dawns to him that Keito is still not back. It feels awfully empty without him.
He puts the cupcakes in the fridge and goes to the living room. Normally, Keito would have cleaned up the mess already long ago, and he would have come to the kitchen quite a while ago. Yamada sighs and starts to clean up. When he is also finished with that, it’s already 9 PM. A hopeful glance on his phone shows him that there aren’t any missed calls or messages either.
It’s rare for Keito not to make the first step. It’s always him who approaches Yamada, and the fact that he doesn’t do it now, means that he is either seriously angry or hurt or maybe both. Yamada sits down on the sofa, eyeing his phone. Should he, or shouldn’t he? The hell with his pride, he thinks after a while, and types a swift message. I’m sorry! Please come home! Please, please, please. I love you so much!!
He puts the phone aside before snuggling up against a pillow on the sofa. It burns a little behind his eyelids, and he fails in ignoring and suppressing his tears. He doesn’t even realise how he falls asleep. It’s only when he hears how a door gets shut that he wakes up again.
There are only two possibilities. It’s either a burglar or Keito. Since they are living in one of those apartment houses with a concierge at the front door – and a special security system to even get to the vending machine in the first floor – he assumes that it’s Keito.
Keito is in the bedroom now – his steps are pretty clear. Yamada’s throat feels dry all of a sudden, he is feeling so freaking nervous. But he really needs to have his steady, calming constant back in his life, so he angles for a plate with cupcakes and a white towel, before he opens the door to the bedroom. He waves the towel a bit.
“Peace,” he says carefully. “Can I come in.”
Keito turns his head a little and nods.
“I made cupcakes,” Yamada says, and when he shows them to Keito, the latter smiles a little. It gives Yamada the final push. “Listen,” he says. “I’m sorry. I went overboard. Hikaru teased me and I-“
“Why do you even let him tease you?” Keito interrupts him, frowning. “He is teasing just anyone. He doesn’t mean it. I’m sure it’s just been a joke. He wouldn’t have done it, had he known it really gets down to you.”
Yamada shrugs. “I know,” he admits. “I should know.” He takes Keito’s hand firmly and tugs him along to the living room. It’s more comfortable to talk there.
For a while they sit there, and Yamada feeds himself and Keito with his cupcake. “Too sweet?” he asks.
“No, they are perfect,” Keito says with a smile. “Ryo-“ he picks the topic up again. “You know I love you, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course.” Yamada wraps his arms around Keito and pulls him closer.
“Then promise me, you won’t doubt me again, okay?”
Yamada smiles when he feels Keito’s breath against his neck and lips. “I promise.”
“Cool,” Keito chuckles. “And I’m so saving that message you wrote me. You never apologize!”
Yamada blushes. “I swear, I’m going to delete it later!”
“Impossible.” Keito grins. “I already uploaded it to the cloud. And printed it out.”
Yamada looks at his lover in disbelief. “You are kidding?” When Keito shakes his head, Yamada laughs and drops the subject. If it makes Keito happy to have that message from him, he will just let it have him. For now he is just too happy to have him around again. It’s like a steady constant that keeps him calm, grounded and safe. He likes that about Keito and he won’t give it up easily.
Pairing/Group: Yamada/Keito (OkaYama)
Rating: PG-13
Beta:
silverdoll14 Genre: romance, established
Summary: Keito is a constant pressence in his life, the only real one. Even though they deal with their problems and worries differently, even though they fight sometimes, he remains his constant.
Note: HSJ is really growing on me :D Comments appreciated of course <3
Keito is a constant pressence in his life, the only real one.
When Keito is upset with something or someone, he doesn’t yell. He stays silent instead.
“Are you mad?” Yamada sometimes asks. Keito shakes his head and declines but Yamada knows it’s just a lie.
When he is sad, he stays even more silent.
If he is truly mad, he’ll suddenly switch to English. “I can only curse in English”, he explained once, much to Chinen’s and Yuya’s delight.
Keito is interesting like that, and it fascinates Yamada weirdly. It’s also so remarkable how calmly Keito can endure his temper tantrums or his weird requests.
“What now?” Keito asks, while he tries to put the candlewick in the middle of the candle-shape Yamada tries to hold steady. It’s filled with hot wax already.
“Well.” Yamada blinks. “I’ve no idea.” He feels a little frustrated with himself though, despite the fact that Keito doesn’t complain. He lets go of the candle in a sudden angry outburst. “I hate that garbage,” he huffs.
Then he leaves for his kitchen. He needs to vent out his frustration, and he does it the best way possible: by baking. He hates artistic fails – like failing over making a damn candle, especially since he wanted to make it in first place and convinced Keito to help – OMG how embarrassing.
Yamada’s cheeks heat up a little at that thought and now he even walked out on him. Could he get any more embarrassing? Definitely not. He kneads the dough with force until he feels a cool hand against his neck. He squeals, and Keito smiles a bit. “Letting it out on the cake?” he asks calmly and kisses Yamada’s neck softly. Then he leans his chin against Yamada’s shoulder and looks at what Yamada is doing right now.
Yamada can’t help an affectionate smile. His smile grows from affectionate to surprised, and then to downright amazed when Keito moves his left hand and places a candle on the kitchen counter.
“It worked!?” Yamada breaths out. “How did you do that?”
“I did nothing,” Keito explains. “Your manual was perfect. It just needed some time to cool. That’s all.”
“Hm.” Yamada chuckles. “You are pretty skilled.” His chuckle grows when he can feel Keito’s fingers underneath his shirt. “What are we doing?” he pulls an eyebrow up, eyeing back behind him.
Keito grins. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Yamada smirks while he turns around. He raises his hands, covered in flour. When he wiggles with his fingers, some dried mixture of flour and egg even drops to the ground. “You know, it will get dirty.”
“Awesome,” Keito nods earnestly and wraps his arms around Yamada’s waist, pulling him closer. When he feels Keito’s lips against his, Yamada leans back a bit in his arms, stretching slightly – hello height difference, screw you! – hands resting on Keito’s arm first before they move up into his hair. Afterwards Keito’s hair, his clothes and some parts of his body might be covered in flour but right now, none of them minds.
~~~
When Keito is sad, he hardly ever shows it, but there are some slight signs which one just has to learn to read. It’s the way he tilts his head slightly, the way his fingers brush over his guitar without him really looking at it. His gaze just wanders to somewhere else. A point in the distance, something no one else can see right now.
Yamada knocks with a can of juice against his head. There is no alcohol in the recording studio anyway. Keito looks up in surprise, a sudden smile gracing his lips.
“You alright?” Yamada asks.
“Hm,” Keito says. “I am.”
Yamada knows it’s a lie, and that Keito just doesn’t want to talk about it. He sits down next to him now, an arm around Keito’s shoulder, head leaning against Keito’s. “Play something for me?” he asks. A glance to his watch tells him they still have a few minutes before the others return from their break.
“Of course.”
Yamada listens intently while Keito lets his fingers roam over the strings of his guitar. He is so cool, Yamada thinks and says it out loud. “You are cool, you know that, right?”
Keito smiles, finally an honest smile. He brushes his nose against Yamada’s. “I’m trying,” he jokes and puts his guitar aside. “Thanks for being there. It’s nothing serious. Just my father.”
“Ah,” Yamada sighs. Again, he thinks, but doesn’t say it out loud. “It’s going to get better,” he promises. “I swear. He is just in a difficult age.”
At that joke, Keito has to laugh. Yamada is pretty proud about that.
~~~
Yamada knows that he can basically throw anything at Keito, starting from harsh words to cups and even plates.
Keito never yells. He hardly shows his anger anyways. Just sometimes, in very rare occasions, he can get pissed too. He doesn’t like jealous temper tantrums, and most of the time, Yamada actually keeps that in consideration. Just sometimes, he slips too, fuck it, he knows it’s stupid. On top of that, getting jealous of Keito meeting someone from the band is even more stupid because they are friends, and he doesn’t own Keito. They both have other friends too and meet up with them separately. He just feels weird when Keito shows his beautiful rare Keito-smile to anyone but him. Especially when he gets teased by Hikaru because of it.
So this time when he throws a plate into Keito’s direction, Keito doesn’t try to catch it. He steps aside and lets it get smashed against the wall. “Sometimes you are so fucking complicated,” he huffs.
In a normal situation, Yamada would have winced at Keito raising his voice in any way. But this isn’t normal, and it’s not a casual situation. It’s him being in a fucking rage! “And you are so damn introverted sometimes!” he yells. “How should I know that you like me, when you never say it properly.”
“Well, I’m sticking with you despite this here,” Keito shoots back and points at the scattered pieces of the plate. “Isn’t that enough proof!?”
“The hell it is!” Yamada spats out. “You just don’t love me.”
“Damn it,” Keito’s eyes are a little darker than usual, his brows are furrowed. “I can’t believe you fucking mean that! Leave me alone!” With that he grabs his keys and his wallet, leaving.
Keito has said the last words in English. Yamada blinks. He didn’t understand – only something about fucking and he is pretty sure that Keito didn’t mean any action in bed. Whatever – Yamada shoots a glare at the now closed door of his apartment. Then he heads to the kitchen and does what he always does when he needs to let steam off.
Dessert.
He settles for cupcakes because he has all the ingredients at home for them. He is making several of them, not noticing how the hours pass while he kneads the dough firmly, before concentrating more on his task and putting more careful attention to it. When he puts the cream on top and garnish it with little sugar pearls and butterflies, he is all calm again. It suddenly dawns to him that Keito is still not back. It feels awfully empty without him.
He puts the cupcakes in the fridge and goes to the living room. Normally, Keito would have cleaned up the mess already long ago, and he would have come to the kitchen quite a while ago. Yamada sighs and starts to clean up. When he is also finished with that, it’s already 9 PM. A hopeful glance on his phone shows him that there aren’t any missed calls or messages either.
It’s rare for Keito not to make the first step. It’s always him who approaches Yamada, and the fact that he doesn’t do it now, means that he is either seriously angry or hurt or maybe both. Yamada sits down on the sofa, eyeing his phone. Should he, or shouldn’t he? The hell with his pride, he thinks after a while, and types a swift message. I’m sorry! Please come home! Please, please, please. I love you so much!!
He puts the phone aside before snuggling up against a pillow on the sofa. It burns a little behind his eyelids, and he fails in ignoring and suppressing his tears. He doesn’t even realise how he falls asleep. It’s only when he hears how a door gets shut that he wakes up again.
There are only two possibilities. It’s either a burglar or Keito. Since they are living in one of those apartment houses with a concierge at the front door – and a special security system to even get to the vending machine in the first floor – he assumes that it’s Keito.
Keito is in the bedroom now – his steps are pretty clear. Yamada’s throat feels dry all of a sudden, he is feeling so freaking nervous. But he really needs to have his steady, calming constant back in his life, so he angles for a plate with cupcakes and a white towel, before he opens the door to the bedroom. He waves the towel a bit.
“Peace,” he says carefully. “Can I come in.”
Keito turns his head a little and nods.
“I made cupcakes,” Yamada says, and when he shows them to Keito, the latter smiles a little. It gives Yamada the final push. “Listen,” he says. “I’m sorry. I went overboard. Hikaru teased me and I-“
“Why do you even let him tease you?” Keito interrupts him, frowning. “He is teasing just anyone. He doesn’t mean it. I’m sure it’s just been a joke. He wouldn’t have done it, had he known it really gets down to you.”
Yamada shrugs. “I know,” he admits. “I should know.” He takes Keito’s hand firmly and tugs him along to the living room. It’s more comfortable to talk there.
For a while they sit there, and Yamada feeds himself and Keito with his cupcake. “Too sweet?” he asks.
“No, they are perfect,” Keito says with a smile. “Ryo-“ he picks the topic up again. “You know I love you, don’t you?”
“Yes, of course.” Yamada wraps his arms around Keito and pulls him closer.
“Then promise me, you won’t doubt me again, okay?”
Yamada smiles when he feels Keito’s breath against his neck and lips. “I promise.”
“Cool,” Keito chuckles. “And I’m so saving that message you wrote me. You never apologize!”
Yamada blushes. “I swear, I’m going to delete it later!”
“Impossible.” Keito grins. “I already uploaded it to the cloud. And printed it out.”
Yamada looks at his lover in disbelief. “You are kidding?” When Keito shakes his head, Yamada laughs and drops the subject. If it makes Keito happy to have that message from him, he will just let it have him. For now he is just too happy to have him around again. It’s like a steady constant that keeps him calm, grounded and safe. He likes that about Keito and he won’t give it up easily.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-10-17 09:23 am (UTC)Wohoo. I just like this kind of story of Okayama. A little bit of angst, sweet and daring. I would do the same things like Keito if it was a tsundere Ryosuke apologizing because of his own faults.
no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 07:29 am (UTC)I'm really happy you liked it!! (*lol* Yes, I would probably do the same too ^^)
no subject
Date: 2015-10-21 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-17 01:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 07:34 am (UTC)I've followed HSJ for a while now, but it's only recently that I got into fandom for real. I'm still experimenting with the pairings though ^^ Any suggestions?
no subject
Date: 2015-10-17 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-10-18 07:43 am (UTC)I'm really glad this story seemed to work. I'm following HSJ since a while already but I just recently became a real fan :-) (and I love Keito <3)
no subject
Date: 2015-10-20 12:49 pm (UTC)I love their relationship, how they're always there for each other and understand each other. And especially the part where they make up.
And Keito is so cute, printing Yamada's last message to him!
Thank you for this fic
no subject
Date: 2015-10-22 11:27 am (UTC)I'm really happy that you liked this fic!!
no subject
Date: 2015-11-15 11:40 am (UTC)I totally loved the idea of Yamada bakes when he is annoyed *lol* That could so be me....just that I go cleaning up when I am mad...(Maybe I should get mad more often)
And the candles *lol* Yes, Yamada the girl :P
Keito is pretty cool in that story, and the fact that he is cursing in English is just sweet ^^
Thanks for sharing <3 I enjoyed it <3
no subject
Date: 2015-11-15 01:48 pm (UTC)I like slice-of-life stories too <3
This pairing worked surprisingly well ^^
*lol* Cleaning up when being mad is actually a cool feature ^^