Blind Date (SubaRyo)
Mar. 4th, 2016 09:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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yume_to_ameTitle: Blind Date
Pairing: SubaRyo, guests: other K8-members
Rating: PG-13
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ivenclaire
Summary: Blind dates and match-making websites are only for very desperate people. At least that’s what Ryo thinks until he stumbles over an agency-approved one. To get over his growing feelings for one of his bandmates, he decides to join…
Notes: Written foremma_gee for k8-rabu-rabu (exchange)
Ryo shifts the little flyer in his hands, turns it, looks at it again, before he puts it aside. He doesn’t need that. No way he would- Never-
He takes it into his hand once more, looks at it again. The slogan is written in shiny glittery capital letters. It doesn’t sound all that bad, it’s even a little bit alluring – of course, only for desperate, helpless people. Ryo shakes his head. No, he is not that desperate, yet.
~~~
“You should totally go. Or rather, participate.” Yasu tells him when they meet up in a little bar. They have settled for a small club at the periphery of Kobe instead of heading for one of the in-clubs at Osaka to have more privacy. It’s a sweet little bar at the beach and Ryo feels comfortable and relaxed, burying his feet in the sand.
They have settled for Pina Colada, a drink they normally only enjoy when it’s the both of them because the others call it too girly and not manly enough. This coming from Sex on the Beach drinker, Yoko, which is a joke in itself, but Ryo and Yasu don’t always enjoy the bickering.
Now Yasu is staring down at the flyer Ryo brought along. He seems to be a little too much into it, Ryo thinks in annoyance. “Like you would join the program.” Ryo grunts.
“Come on. It’s even agency-approved!” Yasu grins. “Who knows? I might even join it too!”
Ryo chews on his straw thoughtfully. Should he? Really? But no, he is not that desperate to join that program, seriously, only totally pathetic-
“You look a little too pornographic when you do that.” Yasu interrupts his trail of thoughts, grinning brightly.
For a moment, Ryo looks at him in bewilderment, frowning deeply, until Yasu points at his drink and the straw. “Oh-“ Ryo blushes and stops the chewing and sucking.
“You should save that attitude for the blind-date program.” Yasu tells him in a matter-of-fact voice. “Might work on your blind date.”
“I told you I’m not joining.” Ryo intervenes.
“We’ll see.” Yasu giggles and orders another drink. “What’s holding you back anyway?”
Ryo just shrugs. He is not ready to answer that question and Yasu gladly doesn’t ask any further, just throws him a surprised look.
~~~
He will later blame it on the alcohol that he brought that annoying idiot to his place. Because- “Is it only for agency-artists?” Yasu wants to know while he stares at the flyer in amazement and turns on Ryo’s laptop at the same time.
“No, it’s also for the staff and everyone working there. Plus some other agencies are included as well.” Ryo empties a glass of water to stay sober enough. “It’s pretty big.”
“You researched!” Yasu exclaims happily and pushes Ryo to the side so that he has some place next to him. He types in the web address on the flyer, getting to a registration page.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, making a user-account for you.”
“Shota-kun-“ Ryo turns his laptop away from his friend and looks at him firmly. “I’m not participating. It’s pathetic and stupid to go on blind dates and meet via a match-making program.”
“Ah-“ Yasu smiles a bit and Ryo isn’t sure if he is joking or not. “So it’s less pathetic to fuck with random strangers?” he asks. He sounds friendly but also a little reproachful.
Ryo swallows at that and he needs a while to recover from this blunt statement. If it was someone else who said that, he would have probably fought back, but Yasu is nice most of the time and he never judges anyone or says something hurtful. So when he does, he’s certainly making a point. “Sign me up,” Ryo says with a dry voice.
It’s almost three hours later that Yasu went home already and Ryo himself goes through all the terms of use and dates he has to put in – the agency’s security measures really are something. When he finally writes down his birthdate and clicks on yet another yes-button, he is finally directed to the real user-profile of his. He needs a name now. No way he is going into this with his real name.
For a moment, he feels so annoyed at these past three hours of time that he wonders if he should go for sexyosakaman as a username, but then he decides to settle for guitarboy.
Name already taken.
Ryo lets out an exasperated sigh. He feels drained already from this long night and from Yasu’s persistence. So if he doesn’t find a username soon, he will just close his laptop and forget all about this program.
A glance at the watch tells him it’s way past midnight already. 3:30 to be exact. Ryo grins. 3-30 as a username it is.
He believes it’s the end of the sign-up process to finally choose the username and set the profile dates, like age, hobbies etc. But to his surprise, there suddenly pops a page – things and characteristics you want your partner to have.
Ryo blinks in surprise. He feels a little excited all of a sudden – this sounds promising. They ask for his preferred gender which he chooses a random doesn’t mind - because he really doesn’t - plus tons of characteristics, starting with looks, personality, hobbies and other preferences. There even is a part about sexual wishes and dreams. Apparently, the other person won’t see what he types and chooses here but the partner suggestions will be made through those choices. Damn it, Yasu was right. He should definitely give this a real try and answer honestly.
~~~
“You look tired.” Subaru analyses once Ryo reaches the rehearsal room. He is the only one there as of now. Stupid Saturday morning, they should stop having rehearsals or meetings at such times.
“Been up too late,” Ryo sighs.
Subaru raises his hands in mock-defence. “Spare me the details.” he says dryly.
Ryo only shows him a deathly glare. “Not because of something like that-“ he defends himself. “I’m professional enough not to let an affair affect my work.”
“I know, Ryo-“ Subaru says calmly. “It was a joke. Jeez, Saturday morning really isn’t a good time.”
“Sorry-“ Ryo smiles awkwardly and joins Subaru on the sofa. “Yesterday, I had something else-“ he pauses helplessly. “-to do.”
“Oh, you had?” Subaru looks up in sudden interest.
“Yeah.”
Subaru doesn’t ask any more questions and Ryo is pretty thankful for that. Something inside him feels weirdly fuzzy, unusually so when it’s about Subaru. It has been there for a while already. Ryo doesn’t even know when he realized it the first time. It’s like a single, tiny butterfly flies around in his stomach. But Ryo ignores that feeling. He has had many friendships that changed throughout the years, like with Uchi. Or even Jin or Pi. Or with their other bandmates. Some friendships got loose and broke up, some got stronger over the years, some turned into a mutual understanding even though they didn’t see each other often, some just coming to nothing and some turned into acquaintanceship rather than friendship.
Only his relationship with Subaru was something that remained steady the way it was from their junior days on. Nothing changed between them, no matter how often they fought, no matter how close they got to each other, no matter how often Subaru kissed him on stage – or even backstage. It’s just the same as always. A steady constant. Ryo likes that. He likes the fact that one thing in his life doesn’t change but stays steady and remains what it is, reliably.
~~~
Who chooses a name like 3-30? I’m not sure now… are you a guy or a girl?
Ryo stares at his phone in surprise. It’s the new app from the matchmaking program he joined. A message from guitarboy.
He feels a little pissed that this dude has his name. The username he originally wanted to choose. Fuck this idiot. He has some nerves to write to him now and mock him for his own emergency-chosen name… whoever this idiot is. When he tries to check who that person who wrote to him is, there are hardly any information to see. Judging by the name, he is a guy. But other than that… a blind-date-program indeed.
So that’s why that dude asked if he was a guy.
Ryo has no motivation whatsoever to answer that guy, so he just types a swift Guy.
Hm. Bad time to talk?
Well, if your name is guitarboy it will probably be a bad time whenever you write. Ryo stares at the display for a while before he shrugs. Not really.
Are you always so short on words?
No!
When his display lights up again, Ryo has to at least give this guy the props for being persistent enough. Because So you are mad at something? Me? That would be fun :-)
Dude was mocking him, definitely. Idiot!! You stole my name! Ryo types swiftly and sends the message away before he can overthink it. Only when he puts his phone aside he suddenly realises what he has done. Embarrassing. A whole new stage of embarrassing.
He almost expects the guy to turn his back on him now, the more he is surprised when he receives yet another message. You are weird, 3-30, but that’s okay. ^_^
Ryo smiles a little.
~~~
“Do you want Natto Soba or Shrimp Soba?” Hina asks. Ryo just grimaces a little and Hina grins. “It’s their speciality here, you know?”
“I still hate both.” Ryo argues. “Just get us normal Soba please.”
Hina lets out a sigh but applies to Ryo’s wish nevertheless. When he is back with the promised meal, Ryo shows him an affectionate smile. “You are probably too nice.”
Hina grins. “Yes, probably.”
For a while, none of them says a word. The soba noodles are fine, maybe a little bit too plain. He should have gone for the ones with pork instead, Ryo thinks, but doesn’t voice it out loud. Better not.
“I have something to ask you-“ Hina spills parts of his soup on the table when he chews on his soba. “-something I’ve been curious about for a while now.”
Ryo eyes him in surprise. “What?”
“About that match-making blind date program. Could you-“
Ryo lets his chopsticks drop back into his bowl, the soup and the noodles spilling all over the table. Some drops of it even landing on Hina’s shirt. “How did you know!?”
“How did I know what?” Hina asks and takes a tissue to wipe away the mess Ryo created.
“That I signed up.”
Hina looks up in surprise and stops the cleaning. “You signed up?”
If it was possible for the earth to open up a hole so he could hide there, this would be the right moment. “Weren’t you going to ask, well,” Ryo pauses, not sure how to continue but Hina beats him to it anyway because he just laughs.
“I only wanted to know what it was about. I saw how they handed you a flyer.” Hina looks at him for a while, tilts his head but then he shrugs, much to Ryo’s relief. “So, you signed up. Probably not the only person who did.”
“You are going to keep it a secret?” Ryo pushes the topic further.
“Hm, yes.” Hina’s lips turn into a huge and teasing smile. “Only if you tell me every detail.”
Screw this manipulative idiot! Ryo frowns. He must have looked very gloomy because Hina only laughs, handing him another bowl of soba. “Eat some more,” he says calmly. “Food raises your mood.”
For his bandmates, it seems like food heals just any problem. Ryo sighs but takes the offered bowl nevertheless. When he eats some bites of it, he just realizes that the soba noodles are well done and just with the right amount of buckwheat. Well, maybe his bandmates are right – food is awesome.
~~~
He has told Hina most of his signing-up process, only left his recent interaction with guitarboy out, glad that he had only signed up a few days ago. And even gladder that he was a pretty good actor – Hina believed him when he said that nothing has happened until now.
When his phone rings, he answers it absent-mindedly. “Hm?”
“Wow,” Subaru chuckles at the other side of the line. “Bad timing?”
“No, it’s fine.” Ryo holds his wallet with his teeth while he unlocks his door.
“Wanna meet for some drinks and play a little – make some music?”
Play a little with their guitars? They haven’t done that in forever, Ryo thinks, while he throws his keys and wallet on his living room table before he drops down on the sofa. “Can you drop by?” He cuddles into his pillow and yawns a bit. “Be fast! And let yourself in once you are here. You still have the key right?”
“Yes.” Subaru chuckles. “Expect me in half an hour.”
“Hm~” Ryo mumbles, eyelids getting a little heavier. “Brinshoargita.”
“What?”
Ryo coughs, trying to concentrate. “Bring your guitar.” Although he can’t see him through the phone, he knows Subaru is smiling by the way he answers a soft “Yes.”
~~~
When Ryo opens his eyes again it’s dark outside. The curtains of his apartment are half-closed and only a little light next to the living room table is switched on. Subaru is sitting on the floor right next to it, some sheets of paper in his hands. He has his guitar on his lap but doesn’t play it.
“You didn’t wake me up.” Ryo tries to sound as reproachful as possible but Subaru only shrugs.
“You looked tired. Besides, I helped myself.” With that, he gestures at a plate with some rice and a glass of wine.
“Give me some?” Ryo asks and pushes himself to a sitting position. A glance at his clock tells him it’s 2 AM already. His body feels a little heavier than usual when he drops down next to Subaru on the floor and takes one sip from his offered glass of wine. “Wanna play a song?”
“Do you?” Subaru asks while he offers a spoon with rice to Ryo.
“Yeah.”
He just realizes how much he missed this once they start playing. It’s like he has lived his life perfectly alright during the last months, but now, he thinks something was undeniably missing. Subaru’s voice humming a soft melody, their fingers brushing over their guitars while they don’t talk for almost half an hour. It’s so easy to be silent together with Subaru.
It’s around 3:30 that they put their guitars aside again. Ryo realizes the time with a grin as he remembers how he signed up for that stupid program.
“What’s so funny?” Subaru asks not able to hide his curiosity.
“Nothing,” Ryo makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Staying overnight, are you?” he asks to diffuse Subaru’s question.
“If it’s okay.”
“Sure.”
Subaru gets up while Ryo already heads for the bathroom. “Your emergency guest-sleepover pyjama still in the third drawer of your wardrobe?” Ryo can hear his voice from the open bathroom door.
“Yes.” He calls towards his oldest friend and steps into the shower. He can hear how Subaru enters the bathroom too, brushing his teeth. Ryo sticks his head out of the shower cabin. “Finished in a minute.”
“Hm~” Subaru turns around his toothbrush in his mouth. “Donstressyurself.”
Ryo knows Subaru means it but he still hurries and soon steps out of the shower, grabbing for a towel. Subaru puts his toothbrush aside and looks at him for a while. Although it’s Subaru, Ryo blushes under that intense stare. “What are you looking at?”
Subaru shrugs. “Don’t get it wrong but you really grew up.”
Ryo tilts his head, lips parting slightly. What? He tries to read Subaru’s expression thoroughly, tries to understand the way these words were spoken, but the look in Subaru’s eyes is back to normal. And when they both drop down in Ryo’s bed, fighting for the blanket, he is sure he has just imagined it.
“You know,” Ryo says while he turns to the side to face Subaru. “I never told you directly but I was so proud and happy for you when you got to have these solo concerts.”
Subaru blinks for a moment before an affectionate smile graces his lips. “Just sleep, you little idiot.” He pauses, blushing slightly. “Thanks.” he adds.
Later at night, Ryo wakes up. Subaru is sound asleep, he looks almost cute and peaceful. Ryo smiles a little when he watches his friend. Long eyelashes, he thinks, Subaru has such unusually long eyelashes. He stretches out his hand, touching his forehead lightly. When Subaru shifts he pulls his hand away again, feeling slightly scared of his own actions.
What is he doing here?
Damn it, he should really give that match-making program a try!
~~~
So, you are playing the guitar?
Lazy Sunday and Ryo did not plan to go online but somehow, it happened. He is a little surprised – not in a bad way – to see a message from guitarboy in his inbox.
Why are you asking? He is not about to give away any information yet.
The answer comes fast. Well, you wanted to choose the same name.
I could be a fanboy.
Then why didn’t you call yourself guitarfanboy?
Ryo has to laugh at that. This dude has definitely earned himself a proper answer, he thinks, for making him laugh and for being persistent. I love playing the guitar. It’s my favourite instrument. And you?
He hopes that the other guy won’t go for teasing now, like making jokes about him warming up or typing a long message. To his relief, the answer is pretty normal.
Same for me. Playing it makes me feel at ease. A good feeling all in all.
Ryo turns on his back, stretching a little. His head is hanging down from his bed and he looks at his phone upside down. You are an idol, right? It’s just a guess but since this is an agency approved match-making program and this dude loves to make music, he just can’t be anyone behind the curtain.
Good guess! :-) You too, aren’t you?
Ryo feels a little dizzy all of a sudden from his position and turns to the side. He wonders what to write when a new message pops in.
Want to go to a concert together? A guitar concert, I mean.
Ryo closes the app immediately. A date? Was that a date? Hell, what is he supposed to answer to that question?
~~~
“Why are so complicated?” Yasu asks in frustration. “Just answer this guy. Either a yes or a no.”
“But I don’t know what to answer.” Ryo looks down at his drink in exasperation. They have met up again in their favourite little bar and Yasu brought up the topic so suddenly that he just had to answer.
“Are you interested?” Yasu pushes the topic further. “I mean in that guitarboy-dude?”
“I’m not sure.” Ryo shrugs. “He is pretty random and likes the same thing. And he was pretty persistent in the beginning. So-“
“So, he earned himself an answer!” Yasu finishes his sentence. He grins a little. “Come on, Ryo-chan. You don’t need to fall in love with that guy, but it’s a blind date program. Which use does it have if you don’t go on a blind date? After all, the program set you two up according to your characteristics, preferences and wishes.”
Ryo is about to answer something to that when he sees a well-known figure approaching them. He kicks Yasu slightly under the table, signalling him to stay silent. It’s Subaru.
“Hey guys,” Subaru looks at them in surprise. “I didn’t know you were here too.”
Yasu chuckles. “I guess Ryo and I aren’t the only ones frequenting this bar.”
“Apparently not.” Ryo smiles at Subaru. Again, there is this slight fuzzy feeling in his stomach. “Want to join us?”
“Yeah,” Yasu nods and already tugs at Subaru’s arm. “Don’t be shy.”
“Since when am I shy?” Subaru asks and follows their invitation. Once he sat down, he looks at Yasu through his thoughtful eyes. “Shota?”
“Well when it’s about love, you are shy.” Yasu obviously teases, grinning when Subaru blushes a little. “Maybe you should also join that matchmaking program, like Ryo and I.”
There are various things Ryo wants to do now. First hit Yasu, second ask him when the hell he joined too and why this ass didn’t tell him anything about it. But furthermore, he just wants to distract Subaru from that spicy revelation. So he orders new drinks for all of them. He only sends a deathly glare to Yasu, which the latter just comments with a grin, and decides to ask him later.
~~~
“Look, a tree~” Ryo chirps, giggling when Subaru catches his arm and pulls him out of the taxi.
“Yes, there is a tree.” he says. On a normal night, Ryo would have complained about how Subaru can drink and drink without getting tipsy in any way. But right now, he is just beyond that. Everything, the whole world, his apartment house, Subaru, the tree on the right of the street is clouded in white dust. It’s so fascinating.
“Oops,” Ryo giggles when he stumbles over the threshold of his apartment, clinging to Subaru’s arm even more.
Subaru shoves him to his bathroom, forcing him to change his clothes and drink some water. It’s when Ryo changes into his pyjama trousers that he looks up at Subaru again. Everything is so hazy around him but nevertheless, he can’t help but realize.
“You are staring at me.” Ryo beams. “Like what you see? It’s okay, you are allowed to look. Because you are my Baru-chan~”
Subaru opens his lips like he wants to say something, but Ryo doesn’t wait for an answer, just bends forward and presses their lips against each other lazily. Somehow, his clouded mind realizes how Subaru puts his hands on his hips and pulls him closer. “You’ll stay with me, right? Always? You will always be my Subaru.” he mumbles. “It’s a pity that it can’t be more than that.”
He turns around and stumbles into his bedroom and dropping down on his bed. Before he drifts to sleep, he angles for his phone though. It can’t be, he repeats his thought. I’m not allowed to ever like him. With that, he nods to himself and types the message to his online-friend without thinking any further.
I’m going on that concert date with you if you guess how I decided on my name!
Then he basically drifts to sleep, realizing only slightly how Subaru lies down next to him. He snuggles up against him. Feels good.
~~~
A date? Well, then, I’ll think properly about your question of course :-)
Ryo stares at his phone in shock. He still feels slightly hangoverish. On top of that, he basically woke up in Subaru’s arms this morning and spent half an hour apologizing and forcing a dinner invitation on Subaru for next week. He had a weird dream too, about how he kissed Subaru. But apparently, it’s just his imagination because Subaru didn’t say anything about it.
Now he finds out that apparently, he sent a message to that online-dude the night before. Stupid!! But taking it back now would only be embarrassing. Dude would never find out how he chose his name after all.
Is it the date of your sign-up?
Ryo stares at the message, eyes widening in shock before he throws his phone on his bed, stomping in his kitchen. Idiot. Fucking idiot!
~~~
“I can’t believe you are such a chicken.” Yasu sighs while he grabs a black shirt from Ryo’s wardrobe. It has white buttons and looks stylish but not overdressed. “Good that you spilled the news so I can stop you from bailing!”
“What if he is an idiot. Or super-ugly. Or both?” Ryo asks while he takes the shirt and puts it on. “What if he is super-creepy.”
“Listen,” Yasu lets out an exasperated sigh. “We’ve been through this conversation already. It’s an agency approved program. They check peoples’ identities. It’s definitely not a creep. It’s either someone from JE or someone from another agency. Other than that, just take it as a fun evening at a concert. Just go out. When was the last time you were on a date?”
Ryo tilts his head a little, trying to seriously think about that question. He had one-night stands, yes, random encounters in bars. But a date? “My last relationship?”
“And when was that?”
Ryo swallows nervously. “You are right.” he finally gives in. “Give me those dark-blue jeans there.”
“If he really is an idiot, just message me.” Yasu smiles. “I’ll come to your rescue. Promise!”
“Thanks for being here.” For the first time during the last days, Ryo smiles full-heartedly. “I hate dates, you know? Makes me nervous. What about you? Already met someone using that program?”
“Yeah,” Yasu laughs. “I’ll see how it turns out.”
“This time you’ll tell me, right?” Ryo points at his friend with his keys, like he wants to threaten him. “IF there is something new going on, you’ll fill me in!”
Yasu raises his hands in defence. “Promise!”
~~~
It’s not really a concert like they are used to. It’s more like a nice bar where artists present themselves. Ryo has wanted to attend such an event for a long time already and he is almost glad that he has the chance to do so now. Even though it’s this horrible blind-date, which he hates.
Why again is he doing this? He is not even the type to date, let alone blind-date someone!
He and guitarboy – he still doesn’t know his name, damn it. But the program advised them to keep their names anonym. – have decided to meet at table number 3. It’s a little crowded in that place but Ryo likes it immediately. It’s lighter than normal bars and it has a real stage where the artists will be playing. He is so fascinated that he almost misses table 3. When he looks up though, he stares into two very-well known eyes.
“Can’t be,” he breathes out. It’s just impossible! “You are the one who stole my name?” he asks silently.
Subaru stares at him equally surprised, though he is lacking real shock in his eyes.
~~~
They have decided to stay here since they already came all the way to this place. “That dude is good.” Subaru muses, obviously trying to take the awkwardness out of the scene. He looks good, Ryo thinks, he has shaved properly, wears some stylish clothes and looks admirably relaxed.
“Hm~” Ryo nods while he drinks from his Mai Tai. He chews on his straw thoughtfully, wondering how the hell he got into that situation. It could be worse though. Because Subaru is at least someone he likes and feels comfortable to be around with. When Subaru laughs, he looks up again. “What?”
“You look like a porn star doing that.” Subaru jokes.
“Doing what?” Subaru just shakes his head and points at Ryo and the straw he is currently sucking at. Again. Just like he did a while ago with Yasu. His cheeks heat up immediately. “Oh, sorry!”
“Don’t be.” Subaru makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “At least you look hot while doing it.”
There are various things Ryo wants to ask about that last statement but he keeps them to himself. “Isn’t it weird?” he asks instead. “That we ended up at the same place?”
“Totally.” Subaru rubs over his head, smiling a bit. “But then, it’s okay.”
For a moment, Ryo feels too surprised to say something. “Okay?”
Subaru just shrugs. “You know, I’m actually not really into that blind-date thing. I’m kinda glad that you were the one who came.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” Subaru smiles but his lips tug a little, like he is nervous. “Nothing at all.” He points at the stage. “That dude there is pretty good too.”
Ryo nods and for the next four hours, he and Subaru get totally engulfed in that concert. He is enjoying it thoroughly, to be there with someone he knows and like and enjoy the same thing. At one point, after three tequila, he can feel Subaru’s hand around his own, fingers entangled. Such a nice feeling. Ryo bites down on his lips not to smile too brightly.
And it’s only later at night and after a bunch of cocktails that he finds himself in a dark corner of the entrance of his apartment and Subaru’s arms wrapped around him. His lips feel so sweet and warm against his and Ryo’s heart makes little fast jumps. It’s not only a little butterfly in his stomach anymore, but a whole bunch of them. Probably due to the alcohol. He doesn’t stop Subaru’s lips though, just wants to feel them more and more.
~~~
They fucking kissed.
Did he loose his mind completely!?
In general, the evening was so pleasant that Ryo almost doesn’t want to overthink it too much. But it was really too pleasant and there was Subaru’s hand on his and their kiss that lasted for almost an hour. Even if he blames it on the alcohol, it’s still weird!
It’s when he receives a new message that his thoughts get even more twisted.
It’s guitarboy, well, Subaru. Why did you go on a date with me, Ryo?
Ryo decides to be honest. It’s Subaru after all and he can’t lie to him – by no means. My real life was a little too confusing. I didn’t want it to be like that. He pauses. And I thought you were fun and charming. And persistent enough to keep up with my mood. I wanted to give you a chance.
Do you think you could see that in the real Shibutani Subaru too? A pause before a second message arrives. Was I the one who confused you?
Ryo stares at his phone in surprise. What do you mean? he finally types, not wanting to face the truth yet.
Nothing, it’s okay. It’s just been a little awkward between us even before… everything happened. But it’s okay, really.
Ryo wants to believe that, but something in his stomach tugs a little painfully. He tries to recall the last evenings he spent with Subaru. It’s been weird recently, without doubts it was. Subaru is right. On top of that, they kissed, and by now, he isn’t too sure if he really dreamt that drunk kiss a few nights ago or if it happened for real. When did it change like that between them?
~~~
Ryo has promised Subaru this dinner and he definitely doesn’t want to ditch him in anyway. So, he shoves his weird thoughts aside and concentrates on cooking. He is going for Oyakodon, something he knows Subaru loves. He smiles a little when he imagines Subaru’s eyes gleaming a little when he eats it.
He is proven right because when Subaru drops by two hours later, he is almost too happy about the food. “I can’t believe that you even added curry to it. And did you make that miso soup by yourself?” He pauses. “I could get used to this.” he continues. “Your cooking. You definitely know how to do it.”
Something inside Ryo’s stomach jumps a little too happy. He likes it when Subaru praises him like that, when he has his full attention. “Sure, everything’s self-made!” Ryo grins, feeling like an overly smiling dork all of a sudden.
It’s later that they settle for a movie on his sofa that Ryo can finally bring himself to ask the inevitable. “Did you know it was me?” Ryo finally dares to ask. “I mean, before we met and only talked through that chat-program.”
Subaru just shrugs. “Give me another mochi please.” he says instead.
“Subaru-kun?” Ryo pushes his friend while he hands him one of the mochis.
“Not really. I didn’t know. But-“ Subaru lets out a little sigh before he turns over to face Ryo properly. “Yasu spilled when he was drunk and told me that you joined that program. So I signed up too – just to challenge my luck. I just like you, you know?” he says. “Simple as that. I wanted to see if we have a chance. It just happened that we met - coincidentally.” He smiles a little. “The program assigned us to each other by chance. I didn’t know it was you at first. But I hoped it – I thought that, that 3-30 guy just resembled you a lot.” He pauses. “I like you.” he repeats and looks away a bit.
Everything he said sounds so honest that Ryo believes it immediately. It’s only when Subaru looks at him for a while that he realizes he still needs to answer. Damn it. “I-“ Ryo pauses, looking down. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know if you like me?” Subaru wants to know.
“There is something,” Ryo admits, feeling his cheeks flushing again. Does he really want to lose the only steady constant in his life? “I just need some time to think properly.”
“Fair enough.” Subaru smiles. He grins a little and smacks Ryo’s shoulder. “Don’t make such a face. It’s still me. The dude you’ve known like forever!”
Exactly, Ryo thinks sadly, that’s the problem.
~~~
It’s a little awkward during their rehearsal two days later, but Ryo can feel how Subaru tries to be as normal as possible around him. He is a little distanced in general towards everyone, even drawing a complaint from Maru at one point.
Ryo is almost glad for that distraction. Gives him time to think. He hums a little, lets his fingers brush over the strings of his guitar.
“A new song?”
Ryo looks up in surprise when he hears Subaru’s voice. A glance in the rehearsal room tells him that the others aren’t around anymore. Subaru apparently caught his glance because he shrugs a little. “Maru and Yoko got into a fight. Then Shingo intervened and it got even worse. In the end, Okura just told them they are all stupid and that he would go for lunch now together with Yasu.” He pulls his eyebrows up, looking at Ryo insistently. “Did you really not notice?”
Ryo stares at his friend in sincere surprise. How far away has he been with his thoughts that he didn’t even realize what was going on around him!? He smiles helplessly. “Guess I wasn’t really present.”
Subaru tilts his head, opening his mouth like he wants to say something but then he closes it all of a sudden and sits down next to Ryo. “A new song?” he finally asks again.
“I just made it up.” Ryo explains and scribbles down some notes. “Want to listen to it?”
“It’s pretty good.” Subaru says a few minutes later. “Did you try changing the scale? Might even give a whole new sound to it.”
Changing the scale? That thought hadn’t crossed Ryo’s mind until now. He was just playing around with his guitar a little today, but Subaru is right. Changing the scale might give a new sound to it. “Are you staying?” Ryo asks. “To listen?”
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Sure,” Ryo beams. “Grab something to eat and stay with me.”
Subaru smiles brightly at that. It’s one of his rare smiles, the one he doesn’t show very often but when he does, it shines even more. Ryo gets a little engulfed by it. It’s only when Subaru raises his eyebrows questioningly that he realises he has been staring. He blushes a little, turning away again.
It’s later that day when the others are back again that it dawns on Ryo that he had just spent the whole lunch break with Subaru and that it had felt so relaxing and good. He almost wishes for it to be always like that.
He and Yasu are the last ones to leave the changing room after rehearsals. “You look a little sad.” Yasu says all of a sudden. “Everything alright?”
“Yes.” Ryo lies.
“Any chance that you’ll tell me what happened on that date of yours?”
Ryo can feel how his lips tug a little, like they want to turn into a sad smile. “Maybe later. It did make everything a lot more complicated than it already was.”
“You can talk to me anytime. You know that, right?” Yasu smiles. “We are partners in crime after all.”
“I know.”
~~~
The song you played on your guitar during rehearsals was beautiful.
Ryo looks at the message from Subaru as guitarboy with a smile. You really think so?
Yes. I wouldn’t lie to you!
It’s weird how much easier it is to talk to Subaru through that mask of the match-making program instead of talking to him directly.
When Ryo thinks about , it’s not a storm that pulls him from his feet but more like a quiet river, waves constantly brushing against the shores. It’s a little calm but at the same time safe and relaxed. There was a time when Ryo wanted adventures and feel the excitement and the danger but he isn’t like that anymore. He likes to feel safe and warm, wants to be steady in his relationship.
It could be so freaking easy, if it was anyone else but Subaru.
~~~
He needs to talk about it. Just has to. He can’t keep it to himself and lock it inside him. It’s impossible, so he goes for the only option he has.
“What’s so bad about liking Subaru?” Yasu wants to know silently after he listened to the whole story.
“Nothing. Just-“
“Just?”
“Everything changes,” Ryo says and he sounds a little too sad even to his own ears. “During the last years everything, I used to know changed. Friendships broke and I couldn’t avoid it. I just don’t want to-“ he doesn’t voice out what he doesn’t want because Yasu nods all of a sudden and Ryo is eternally thankful that he doesn’t laugh about him and his weird obsession with this topic.
“I know.” Yasu pauses, takes a sip from his drink and sighs heavily, like he wants to choose his words with careful intent. “But you know, you said steady constant. What if for Subaru you aren’t one anymore? What if you are the one who changed?”
He was the one changing? It couldn’t be. Whenever Ryo looks back, it seems like he didn’t change at all. He has always been Ryo-chan. “Stop kidding,” he shakes his head. “Or did I really change?”
“I think, you did. See-“ Yasu nods a little towards the waitress when she brings them their sushi. “-You are not a steady constant anymore. So if you like Subaru, I would say: Go for it. Because it already did change!”
~~~
It would be a lie to say that he was really convinced by it. He wants his friendship with Subaru to remain and not turn into a mess. And a relationship could turn everything upside down, especially if it wouldn’t work out. But then, Yasu might be right, what if they already stopped being constants to each other? It already is upside down. So why not push it a step further?
Ryo smiles a bit, his heart making a careful jump. Should he? Really? Is it okay?
Yasu told him to talk with Subaru about his fears and he actually thinks that’s a good idea. Just how should he do that? He wonders how he should tell Subaru – everything, his confusion and his fears. He has never been good with words. How the hell should he tell Subaru all his feelings without messing up or ruining the mood? Or worse: chicken out again. He fears that once he stands in front of Subaru’s door, he will just bolt or not be able to tell him anything.
It’s when he passes an ad for a speed-dating event that an idea hits him. It’s easier to talk to Subaru as 3-30. He sends a message to guitarboy without thinking any further
What if we mess it up?
He has expected Subaru to take some time to answer but to his surprise, his answer comes only ten minutes later. Ryo, it’s not like I don’t understand - we will never have a guarantee. But believe me, I put a lot of thinking into this. I’m not jumping into it without having a proper plan.
It is good to know that Subaru isn’t without doubts either, Ryo thinks. It makes him feel better and a little more relaxed. What kind of plan?
The answer comes within minutes. Let’s talk about this in person. There is a new ramen restaurant~ Wanna try?
He is not so sure if Subaru means the restaurant or them as a couple. Most likely both. Ryo nods and types a swift Yes before his rationality changes his mind again. Give this a try, he thinks, of course he wants to!
Pairing: SubaRyo, guests: other K8-members
Rating: PG-13
Beta:
ivenclaireSummary: Blind dates and match-making websites are only for very desperate people. At least that’s what Ryo thinks until he stumbles over an agency-approved one. To get over his growing feelings for one of his bandmates, he decides to join…
Notes: Written for
emma_gee for k8-rabu-rabu (exchange)Ryo shifts the little flyer in his hands, turns it, looks at it again, before he puts it aside. He doesn’t need that. No way he would- Never-
He takes it into his hand once more, looks at it again. The slogan is written in shiny glittery capital letters. It doesn’t sound all that bad, it’s even a little bit alluring – of course, only for desperate, helpless people. Ryo shakes his head. No, he is not that desperate, yet.
~~~
“You should totally go. Or rather, participate.” Yasu tells him when they meet up in a little bar. They have settled for a small club at the periphery of Kobe instead of heading for one of the in-clubs at Osaka to have more privacy. It’s a sweet little bar at the beach and Ryo feels comfortable and relaxed, burying his feet in the sand.
They have settled for Pina Colada, a drink they normally only enjoy when it’s the both of them because the others call it too girly and not manly enough. This coming from Sex on the Beach drinker, Yoko, which is a joke in itself, but Ryo and Yasu don’t always enjoy the bickering.
Now Yasu is staring down at the flyer Ryo brought along. He seems to be a little too much into it, Ryo thinks in annoyance. “Like you would join the program.” Ryo grunts.
“Come on. It’s even agency-approved!” Yasu grins. “Who knows? I might even join it too!”
Ryo chews on his straw thoughtfully. Should he? Really? But no, he is not that desperate to join that program, seriously, only totally pathetic-
“You look a little too pornographic when you do that.” Yasu interrupts his trail of thoughts, grinning brightly.
For a moment, Ryo looks at him in bewilderment, frowning deeply, until Yasu points at his drink and the straw. “Oh-“ Ryo blushes and stops the chewing and sucking.
“You should save that attitude for the blind-date program.” Yasu tells him in a matter-of-fact voice. “Might work on your blind date.”
“I told you I’m not joining.” Ryo intervenes.
“We’ll see.” Yasu giggles and orders another drink. “What’s holding you back anyway?”
Ryo just shrugs. He is not ready to answer that question and Yasu gladly doesn’t ask any further, just throws him a surprised look.
~~~
He will later blame it on the alcohol that he brought that annoying idiot to his place. Because- “Is it only for agency-artists?” Yasu wants to know while he stares at the flyer in amazement and turns on Ryo’s laptop at the same time.
“No, it’s also for the staff and everyone working there. Plus some other agencies are included as well.” Ryo empties a glass of water to stay sober enough. “It’s pretty big.”
“You researched!” Yasu exclaims happily and pushes Ryo to the side so that he has some place next to him. He types in the web address on the flyer, getting to a registration page.
“What are you doing?”
“Well, making a user-account for you.”
“Shota-kun-“ Ryo turns his laptop away from his friend and looks at him firmly. “I’m not participating. It’s pathetic and stupid to go on blind dates and meet via a match-making program.”
“Ah-“ Yasu smiles a bit and Ryo isn’t sure if he is joking or not. “So it’s less pathetic to fuck with random strangers?” he asks. He sounds friendly but also a little reproachful.
Ryo swallows at that and he needs a while to recover from this blunt statement. If it was someone else who said that, he would have probably fought back, but Yasu is nice most of the time and he never judges anyone or says something hurtful. So when he does, he’s certainly making a point. “Sign me up,” Ryo says with a dry voice.
It’s almost three hours later that Yasu went home already and Ryo himself goes through all the terms of use and dates he has to put in – the agency’s security measures really are something. When he finally writes down his birthdate and clicks on yet another yes-button, he is finally directed to the real user-profile of his. He needs a name now. No way he is going into this with his real name.
For a moment, he feels so annoyed at these past three hours of time that he wonders if he should go for sexyosakaman as a username, but then he decides to settle for guitarboy.
Name already taken.
Ryo lets out an exasperated sigh. He feels drained already from this long night and from Yasu’s persistence. So if he doesn’t find a username soon, he will just close his laptop and forget all about this program.
A glance at the watch tells him it’s way past midnight already. 3:30 to be exact. Ryo grins. 3-30 as a username it is.
He believes it’s the end of the sign-up process to finally choose the username and set the profile dates, like age, hobbies etc. But to his surprise, there suddenly pops a page – things and characteristics you want your partner to have.
Ryo blinks in surprise. He feels a little excited all of a sudden – this sounds promising. They ask for his preferred gender which he chooses a random doesn’t mind - because he really doesn’t - plus tons of characteristics, starting with looks, personality, hobbies and other preferences. There even is a part about sexual wishes and dreams. Apparently, the other person won’t see what he types and chooses here but the partner suggestions will be made through those choices. Damn it, Yasu was right. He should definitely give this a real try and answer honestly.
~~~
“You look tired.” Subaru analyses once Ryo reaches the rehearsal room. He is the only one there as of now. Stupid Saturday morning, they should stop having rehearsals or meetings at such times.
“Been up too late,” Ryo sighs.
Subaru raises his hands in mock-defence. “Spare me the details.” he says dryly.
Ryo only shows him a deathly glare. “Not because of something like that-“ he defends himself. “I’m professional enough not to let an affair affect my work.”
“I know, Ryo-“ Subaru says calmly. “It was a joke. Jeez, Saturday morning really isn’t a good time.”
“Sorry-“ Ryo smiles awkwardly and joins Subaru on the sofa. “Yesterday, I had something else-“ he pauses helplessly. “-to do.”
“Oh, you had?” Subaru looks up in sudden interest.
“Yeah.”
Subaru doesn’t ask any more questions and Ryo is pretty thankful for that. Something inside him feels weirdly fuzzy, unusually so when it’s about Subaru. It has been there for a while already. Ryo doesn’t even know when he realized it the first time. It’s like a single, tiny butterfly flies around in his stomach. But Ryo ignores that feeling. He has had many friendships that changed throughout the years, like with Uchi. Or even Jin or Pi. Or with their other bandmates. Some friendships got loose and broke up, some got stronger over the years, some turned into a mutual understanding even though they didn’t see each other often, some just coming to nothing and some turned into acquaintanceship rather than friendship.
Only his relationship with Subaru was something that remained steady the way it was from their junior days on. Nothing changed between them, no matter how often they fought, no matter how close they got to each other, no matter how often Subaru kissed him on stage – or even backstage. It’s just the same as always. A steady constant. Ryo likes that. He likes the fact that one thing in his life doesn’t change but stays steady and remains what it is, reliably.
~~~
Who chooses a name like 3-30? I’m not sure now… are you a guy or a girl?
Ryo stares at his phone in surprise. It’s the new app from the matchmaking program he joined. A message from guitarboy.
He feels a little pissed that this dude has his name. The username he originally wanted to choose. Fuck this idiot. He has some nerves to write to him now and mock him for his own emergency-chosen name… whoever this idiot is. When he tries to check who that person who wrote to him is, there are hardly any information to see. Judging by the name, he is a guy. But other than that… a blind-date-program indeed.
So that’s why that dude asked if he was a guy.
Ryo has no motivation whatsoever to answer that guy, so he just types a swift Guy.
Hm. Bad time to talk?
Well, if your name is guitarboy it will probably be a bad time whenever you write. Ryo stares at the display for a while before he shrugs. Not really.
Are you always so short on words?
No!
When his display lights up again, Ryo has to at least give this guy the props for being persistent enough. Because So you are mad at something? Me? That would be fun :-)
Dude was mocking him, definitely. Idiot!! You stole my name! Ryo types swiftly and sends the message away before he can overthink it. Only when he puts his phone aside he suddenly realises what he has done. Embarrassing. A whole new stage of embarrassing.
He almost expects the guy to turn his back on him now, the more he is surprised when he receives yet another message. You are weird, 3-30, but that’s okay. ^_^
Ryo smiles a little.
~~~
“Do you want Natto Soba or Shrimp Soba?” Hina asks. Ryo just grimaces a little and Hina grins. “It’s their speciality here, you know?”
“I still hate both.” Ryo argues. “Just get us normal Soba please.”
Hina lets out a sigh but applies to Ryo’s wish nevertheless. When he is back with the promised meal, Ryo shows him an affectionate smile. “You are probably too nice.”
Hina grins. “Yes, probably.”
For a while, none of them says a word. The soba noodles are fine, maybe a little bit too plain. He should have gone for the ones with pork instead, Ryo thinks, but doesn’t voice it out loud. Better not.
“I have something to ask you-“ Hina spills parts of his soup on the table when he chews on his soba. “-something I’ve been curious about for a while now.”
Ryo eyes him in surprise. “What?”
“About that match-making blind date program. Could you-“
Ryo lets his chopsticks drop back into his bowl, the soup and the noodles spilling all over the table. Some drops of it even landing on Hina’s shirt. “How did you know!?”
“How did I know what?” Hina asks and takes a tissue to wipe away the mess Ryo created.
“That I signed up.”
Hina looks up in surprise and stops the cleaning. “You signed up?”
If it was possible for the earth to open up a hole so he could hide there, this would be the right moment. “Weren’t you going to ask, well,” Ryo pauses, not sure how to continue but Hina beats him to it anyway because he just laughs.
“I only wanted to know what it was about. I saw how they handed you a flyer.” Hina looks at him for a while, tilts his head but then he shrugs, much to Ryo’s relief. “So, you signed up. Probably not the only person who did.”
“You are going to keep it a secret?” Ryo pushes the topic further.
“Hm, yes.” Hina’s lips turn into a huge and teasing smile. “Only if you tell me every detail.”
Screw this manipulative idiot! Ryo frowns. He must have looked very gloomy because Hina only laughs, handing him another bowl of soba. “Eat some more,” he says calmly. “Food raises your mood.”
For his bandmates, it seems like food heals just any problem. Ryo sighs but takes the offered bowl nevertheless. When he eats some bites of it, he just realizes that the soba noodles are well done and just with the right amount of buckwheat. Well, maybe his bandmates are right – food is awesome.
~~~
He has told Hina most of his signing-up process, only left his recent interaction with guitarboy out, glad that he had only signed up a few days ago. And even gladder that he was a pretty good actor – Hina believed him when he said that nothing has happened until now.
When his phone rings, he answers it absent-mindedly. “Hm?”
“Wow,” Subaru chuckles at the other side of the line. “Bad timing?”
“No, it’s fine.” Ryo holds his wallet with his teeth while he unlocks his door.
“Wanna meet for some drinks and play a little – make some music?”
Play a little with their guitars? They haven’t done that in forever, Ryo thinks, while he throws his keys and wallet on his living room table before he drops down on the sofa. “Can you drop by?” He cuddles into his pillow and yawns a bit. “Be fast! And let yourself in once you are here. You still have the key right?”
“Yes.” Subaru chuckles. “Expect me in half an hour.”
“Hm~” Ryo mumbles, eyelids getting a little heavier. “Brinshoargita.”
“What?”
Ryo coughs, trying to concentrate. “Bring your guitar.” Although he can’t see him through the phone, he knows Subaru is smiling by the way he answers a soft “Yes.”
~~~
When Ryo opens his eyes again it’s dark outside. The curtains of his apartment are half-closed and only a little light next to the living room table is switched on. Subaru is sitting on the floor right next to it, some sheets of paper in his hands. He has his guitar on his lap but doesn’t play it.
“You didn’t wake me up.” Ryo tries to sound as reproachful as possible but Subaru only shrugs.
“You looked tired. Besides, I helped myself.” With that, he gestures at a plate with some rice and a glass of wine.
“Give me some?” Ryo asks and pushes himself to a sitting position. A glance at his clock tells him it’s 2 AM already. His body feels a little heavier than usual when he drops down next to Subaru on the floor and takes one sip from his offered glass of wine. “Wanna play a song?”
“Do you?” Subaru asks while he offers a spoon with rice to Ryo.
“Yeah.”
He just realizes how much he missed this once they start playing. It’s like he has lived his life perfectly alright during the last months, but now, he thinks something was undeniably missing. Subaru’s voice humming a soft melody, their fingers brushing over their guitars while they don’t talk for almost half an hour. It’s so easy to be silent together with Subaru.
It’s around 3:30 that they put their guitars aside again. Ryo realizes the time with a grin as he remembers how he signed up for that stupid program.
“What’s so funny?” Subaru asks not able to hide his curiosity.
“Nothing,” Ryo makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “Staying overnight, are you?” he asks to diffuse Subaru’s question.
“If it’s okay.”
“Sure.”
Subaru gets up while Ryo already heads for the bathroom. “Your emergency guest-sleepover pyjama still in the third drawer of your wardrobe?” Ryo can hear his voice from the open bathroom door.
“Yes.” He calls towards his oldest friend and steps into the shower. He can hear how Subaru enters the bathroom too, brushing his teeth. Ryo sticks his head out of the shower cabin. “Finished in a minute.”
“Hm~” Subaru turns around his toothbrush in his mouth. “Donstressyurself.”
Ryo knows Subaru means it but he still hurries and soon steps out of the shower, grabbing for a towel. Subaru puts his toothbrush aside and looks at him for a while. Although it’s Subaru, Ryo blushes under that intense stare. “What are you looking at?”
Subaru shrugs. “Don’t get it wrong but you really grew up.”
Ryo tilts his head, lips parting slightly. What? He tries to read Subaru’s expression thoroughly, tries to understand the way these words were spoken, but the look in Subaru’s eyes is back to normal. And when they both drop down in Ryo’s bed, fighting for the blanket, he is sure he has just imagined it.
“You know,” Ryo says while he turns to the side to face Subaru. “I never told you directly but I was so proud and happy for you when you got to have these solo concerts.”
Subaru blinks for a moment before an affectionate smile graces his lips. “Just sleep, you little idiot.” He pauses, blushing slightly. “Thanks.” he adds.
Later at night, Ryo wakes up. Subaru is sound asleep, he looks almost cute and peaceful. Ryo smiles a little when he watches his friend. Long eyelashes, he thinks, Subaru has such unusually long eyelashes. He stretches out his hand, touching his forehead lightly. When Subaru shifts he pulls his hand away again, feeling slightly scared of his own actions.
What is he doing here?
Damn it, he should really give that match-making program a try!
~~~
So, you are playing the guitar?
Lazy Sunday and Ryo did not plan to go online but somehow, it happened. He is a little surprised – not in a bad way – to see a message from guitarboy in his inbox.
Why are you asking? He is not about to give away any information yet.
The answer comes fast. Well, you wanted to choose the same name.
I could be a fanboy.
Then why didn’t you call yourself guitarfanboy?
Ryo has to laugh at that. This dude has definitely earned himself a proper answer, he thinks, for making him laugh and for being persistent. I love playing the guitar. It’s my favourite instrument. And you?
He hopes that the other guy won’t go for teasing now, like making jokes about him warming up or typing a long message. To his relief, the answer is pretty normal.
Same for me. Playing it makes me feel at ease. A good feeling all in all.
Ryo turns on his back, stretching a little. His head is hanging down from his bed and he looks at his phone upside down. You are an idol, right? It’s just a guess but since this is an agency approved match-making program and this dude loves to make music, he just can’t be anyone behind the curtain.
Good guess! :-) You too, aren’t you?
Ryo feels a little dizzy all of a sudden from his position and turns to the side. He wonders what to write when a new message pops in.
Want to go to a concert together? A guitar concert, I mean.
Ryo closes the app immediately. A date? Was that a date? Hell, what is he supposed to answer to that question?
~~~
“Why are so complicated?” Yasu asks in frustration. “Just answer this guy. Either a yes or a no.”
“But I don’t know what to answer.” Ryo looks down at his drink in exasperation. They have met up again in their favourite little bar and Yasu brought up the topic so suddenly that he just had to answer.
“Are you interested?” Yasu pushes the topic further. “I mean in that guitarboy-dude?”
“I’m not sure.” Ryo shrugs. “He is pretty random and likes the same thing. And he was pretty persistent in the beginning. So-“
“So, he earned himself an answer!” Yasu finishes his sentence. He grins a little. “Come on, Ryo-chan. You don’t need to fall in love with that guy, but it’s a blind date program. Which use does it have if you don’t go on a blind date? After all, the program set you two up according to your characteristics, preferences and wishes.”
Ryo is about to answer something to that when he sees a well-known figure approaching them. He kicks Yasu slightly under the table, signalling him to stay silent. It’s Subaru.
“Hey guys,” Subaru looks at them in surprise. “I didn’t know you were here too.”
Yasu chuckles. “I guess Ryo and I aren’t the only ones frequenting this bar.”
“Apparently not.” Ryo smiles at Subaru. Again, there is this slight fuzzy feeling in his stomach. “Want to join us?”
“Yeah,” Yasu nods and already tugs at Subaru’s arm. “Don’t be shy.”
“Since when am I shy?” Subaru asks and follows their invitation. Once he sat down, he looks at Yasu through his thoughtful eyes. “Shota?”
“Well when it’s about love, you are shy.” Yasu obviously teases, grinning when Subaru blushes a little. “Maybe you should also join that matchmaking program, like Ryo and I.”
There are various things Ryo wants to do now. First hit Yasu, second ask him when the hell he joined too and why this ass didn’t tell him anything about it. But furthermore, he just wants to distract Subaru from that spicy revelation. So he orders new drinks for all of them. He only sends a deathly glare to Yasu, which the latter just comments with a grin, and decides to ask him later.
~~~
“Look, a tree~” Ryo chirps, giggling when Subaru catches his arm and pulls him out of the taxi.
“Yes, there is a tree.” he says. On a normal night, Ryo would have complained about how Subaru can drink and drink without getting tipsy in any way. But right now, he is just beyond that. Everything, the whole world, his apartment house, Subaru, the tree on the right of the street is clouded in white dust. It’s so fascinating.
“Oops,” Ryo giggles when he stumbles over the threshold of his apartment, clinging to Subaru’s arm even more.
Subaru shoves him to his bathroom, forcing him to change his clothes and drink some water. It’s when Ryo changes into his pyjama trousers that he looks up at Subaru again. Everything is so hazy around him but nevertheless, he can’t help but realize.
“You are staring at me.” Ryo beams. “Like what you see? It’s okay, you are allowed to look. Because you are my Baru-chan~”
Subaru opens his lips like he wants to say something, but Ryo doesn’t wait for an answer, just bends forward and presses their lips against each other lazily. Somehow, his clouded mind realizes how Subaru puts his hands on his hips and pulls him closer. “You’ll stay with me, right? Always? You will always be my Subaru.” he mumbles. “It’s a pity that it can’t be more than that.”
He turns around and stumbles into his bedroom and dropping down on his bed. Before he drifts to sleep, he angles for his phone though. It can’t be, he repeats his thought. I’m not allowed to ever like him. With that, he nods to himself and types the message to his online-friend without thinking any further.
I’m going on that concert date with you if you guess how I decided on my name!
Then he basically drifts to sleep, realizing only slightly how Subaru lies down next to him. He snuggles up against him. Feels good.
~~~
A date? Well, then, I’ll think properly about your question of course :-)
Ryo stares at his phone in shock. He still feels slightly hangoverish. On top of that, he basically woke up in Subaru’s arms this morning and spent half an hour apologizing and forcing a dinner invitation on Subaru for next week. He had a weird dream too, about how he kissed Subaru. But apparently, it’s just his imagination because Subaru didn’t say anything about it.
Now he finds out that apparently, he sent a message to that online-dude the night before. Stupid!! But taking it back now would only be embarrassing. Dude would never find out how he chose his name after all.
Is it the date of your sign-up?
Ryo stares at the message, eyes widening in shock before he throws his phone on his bed, stomping in his kitchen. Idiot. Fucking idiot!
~~~
“I can’t believe you are such a chicken.” Yasu sighs while he grabs a black shirt from Ryo’s wardrobe. It has white buttons and looks stylish but not overdressed. “Good that you spilled the news so I can stop you from bailing!”
“What if he is an idiot. Or super-ugly. Or both?” Ryo asks while he takes the shirt and puts it on. “What if he is super-creepy.”
“Listen,” Yasu lets out an exasperated sigh. “We’ve been through this conversation already. It’s an agency approved program. They check peoples’ identities. It’s definitely not a creep. It’s either someone from JE or someone from another agency. Other than that, just take it as a fun evening at a concert. Just go out. When was the last time you were on a date?”
Ryo tilts his head a little, trying to seriously think about that question. He had one-night stands, yes, random encounters in bars. But a date? “My last relationship?”
“And when was that?”
Ryo swallows nervously. “You are right.” he finally gives in. “Give me those dark-blue jeans there.”
“If he really is an idiot, just message me.” Yasu smiles. “I’ll come to your rescue. Promise!”
“Thanks for being here.” For the first time during the last days, Ryo smiles full-heartedly. “I hate dates, you know? Makes me nervous. What about you? Already met someone using that program?”
“Yeah,” Yasu laughs. “I’ll see how it turns out.”
“This time you’ll tell me, right?” Ryo points at his friend with his keys, like he wants to threaten him. “IF there is something new going on, you’ll fill me in!”
Yasu raises his hands in defence. “Promise!”
~~~
It’s not really a concert like they are used to. It’s more like a nice bar where artists present themselves. Ryo has wanted to attend such an event for a long time already and he is almost glad that he has the chance to do so now. Even though it’s this horrible blind-date, which he hates.
Why again is he doing this? He is not even the type to date, let alone blind-date someone!
He and guitarboy – he still doesn’t know his name, damn it. But the program advised them to keep their names anonym. – have decided to meet at table number 3. It’s a little crowded in that place but Ryo likes it immediately. It’s lighter than normal bars and it has a real stage where the artists will be playing. He is so fascinated that he almost misses table 3. When he looks up though, he stares into two very-well known eyes.
“Can’t be,” he breathes out. It’s just impossible! “You are the one who stole my name?” he asks silently.
Subaru stares at him equally surprised, though he is lacking real shock in his eyes.
~~~
They have decided to stay here since they already came all the way to this place. “That dude is good.” Subaru muses, obviously trying to take the awkwardness out of the scene. He looks good, Ryo thinks, he has shaved properly, wears some stylish clothes and looks admirably relaxed.
“Hm~” Ryo nods while he drinks from his Mai Tai. He chews on his straw thoughtfully, wondering how the hell he got into that situation. It could be worse though. Because Subaru is at least someone he likes and feels comfortable to be around with. When Subaru laughs, he looks up again. “What?”
“You look like a porn star doing that.” Subaru jokes.
“Doing what?” Subaru just shakes his head and points at Ryo and the straw he is currently sucking at. Again. Just like he did a while ago with Yasu. His cheeks heat up immediately. “Oh, sorry!”
“Don’t be.” Subaru makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “At least you look hot while doing it.”
There are various things Ryo wants to ask about that last statement but he keeps them to himself. “Isn’t it weird?” he asks instead. “That we ended up at the same place?”
“Totally.” Subaru rubs over his head, smiling a bit. “But then, it’s okay.”
For a moment, Ryo feels too surprised to say something. “Okay?”
Subaru just shrugs. “You know, I’m actually not really into that blind-date thing. I’m kinda glad that you were the one who came.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing,” Subaru smiles but his lips tug a little, like he is nervous. “Nothing at all.” He points at the stage. “That dude there is pretty good too.”
Ryo nods and for the next four hours, he and Subaru get totally engulfed in that concert. He is enjoying it thoroughly, to be there with someone he knows and like and enjoy the same thing. At one point, after three tequila, he can feel Subaru’s hand around his own, fingers entangled. Such a nice feeling. Ryo bites down on his lips not to smile too brightly.
And it’s only later at night and after a bunch of cocktails that he finds himself in a dark corner of the entrance of his apartment and Subaru’s arms wrapped around him. His lips feel so sweet and warm against his and Ryo’s heart makes little fast jumps. It’s not only a little butterfly in his stomach anymore, but a whole bunch of them. Probably due to the alcohol. He doesn’t stop Subaru’s lips though, just wants to feel them more and more.
~~~
They fucking kissed.
Did he loose his mind completely!?
In general, the evening was so pleasant that Ryo almost doesn’t want to overthink it too much. But it was really too pleasant and there was Subaru’s hand on his and their kiss that lasted for almost an hour. Even if he blames it on the alcohol, it’s still weird!
It’s when he receives a new message that his thoughts get even more twisted.
It’s guitarboy, well, Subaru. Why did you go on a date with me, Ryo?
Ryo decides to be honest. It’s Subaru after all and he can’t lie to him – by no means. My real life was a little too confusing. I didn’t want it to be like that. He pauses. And I thought you were fun and charming. And persistent enough to keep up with my mood. I wanted to give you a chance.
Do you think you could see that in the real Shibutani Subaru too? A pause before a second message arrives. Was I the one who confused you?
Ryo stares at his phone in surprise. What do you mean? he finally types, not wanting to face the truth yet.
Nothing, it’s okay. It’s just been a little awkward between us even before… everything happened. But it’s okay, really.
Ryo wants to believe that, but something in his stomach tugs a little painfully. He tries to recall the last evenings he spent with Subaru. It’s been weird recently, without doubts it was. Subaru is right. On top of that, they kissed, and by now, he isn’t too sure if he really dreamt that drunk kiss a few nights ago or if it happened for real. When did it change like that between them?
~~~
Ryo has promised Subaru this dinner and he definitely doesn’t want to ditch him in anyway. So, he shoves his weird thoughts aside and concentrates on cooking. He is going for Oyakodon, something he knows Subaru loves. He smiles a little when he imagines Subaru’s eyes gleaming a little when he eats it.
He is proven right because when Subaru drops by two hours later, he is almost too happy about the food. “I can’t believe that you even added curry to it. And did you make that miso soup by yourself?” He pauses. “I could get used to this.” he continues. “Your cooking. You definitely know how to do it.”
Something inside Ryo’s stomach jumps a little too happy. He likes it when Subaru praises him like that, when he has his full attention. “Sure, everything’s self-made!” Ryo grins, feeling like an overly smiling dork all of a sudden.
It’s later that they settle for a movie on his sofa that Ryo can finally bring himself to ask the inevitable. “Did you know it was me?” Ryo finally dares to ask. “I mean, before we met and only talked through that chat-program.”
Subaru just shrugs. “Give me another mochi please.” he says instead.
“Subaru-kun?” Ryo pushes his friend while he hands him one of the mochis.
“Not really. I didn’t know. But-“ Subaru lets out a little sigh before he turns over to face Ryo properly. “Yasu spilled when he was drunk and told me that you joined that program. So I signed up too – just to challenge my luck. I just like you, you know?” he says. “Simple as that. I wanted to see if we have a chance. It just happened that we met - coincidentally.” He smiles a little. “The program assigned us to each other by chance. I didn’t know it was you at first. But I hoped it – I thought that, that 3-30 guy just resembled you a lot.” He pauses. “I like you.” he repeats and looks away a bit.
Everything he said sounds so honest that Ryo believes it immediately. It’s only when Subaru looks at him for a while that he realizes he still needs to answer. Damn it. “I-“ Ryo pauses, looking down. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know if you like me?” Subaru wants to know.
“There is something,” Ryo admits, feeling his cheeks flushing again. Does he really want to lose the only steady constant in his life? “I just need some time to think properly.”
“Fair enough.” Subaru smiles. He grins a little and smacks Ryo’s shoulder. “Don’t make such a face. It’s still me. The dude you’ve known like forever!”
Exactly, Ryo thinks sadly, that’s the problem.
~~~
It’s a little awkward during their rehearsal two days later, but Ryo can feel how Subaru tries to be as normal as possible around him. He is a little distanced in general towards everyone, even drawing a complaint from Maru at one point.
Ryo is almost glad for that distraction. Gives him time to think. He hums a little, lets his fingers brush over the strings of his guitar.
“A new song?”
Ryo looks up in surprise when he hears Subaru’s voice. A glance in the rehearsal room tells him that the others aren’t around anymore. Subaru apparently caught his glance because he shrugs a little. “Maru and Yoko got into a fight. Then Shingo intervened and it got even worse. In the end, Okura just told them they are all stupid and that he would go for lunch now together with Yasu.” He pulls his eyebrows up, looking at Ryo insistently. “Did you really not notice?”
Ryo stares at his friend in sincere surprise. How far away has he been with his thoughts that he didn’t even realize what was going on around him!? He smiles helplessly. “Guess I wasn’t really present.”
Subaru tilts his head, opening his mouth like he wants to say something but then he closes it all of a sudden and sits down next to Ryo. “A new song?” he finally asks again.
“I just made it up.” Ryo explains and scribbles down some notes. “Want to listen to it?”
“It’s pretty good.” Subaru says a few minutes later. “Did you try changing the scale? Might even give a whole new sound to it.”
Changing the scale? That thought hadn’t crossed Ryo’s mind until now. He was just playing around with his guitar a little today, but Subaru is right. Changing the scale might give a new sound to it. “Are you staying?” Ryo asks. “To listen?”
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Sure,” Ryo beams. “Grab something to eat and stay with me.”
Subaru smiles brightly at that. It’s one of his rare smiles, the one he doesn’t show very often but when he does, it shines even more. Ryo gets a little engulfed by it. It’s only when Subaru raises his eyebrows questioningly that he realises he has been staring. He blushes a little, turning away again.
It’s later that day when the others are back again that it dawns on Ryo that he had just spent the whole lunch break with Subaru and that it had felt so relaxing and good. He almost wishes for it to be always like that.
He and Yasu are the last ones to leave the changing room after rehearsals. “You look a little sad.” Yasu says all of a sudden. “Everything alright?”
“Yes.” Ryo lies.
“Any chance that you’ll tell me what happened on that date of yours?”
Ryo can feel how his lips tug a little, like they want to turn into a sad smile. “Maybe later. It did make everything a lot more complicated than it already was.”
“You can talk to me anytime. You know that, right?” Yasu smiles. “We are partners in crime after all.”
“I know.”
~~~
The song you played on your guitar during rehearsals was beautiful.
Ryo looks at the message from Subaru as guitarboy with a smile. You really think so?
Yes. I wouldn’t lie to you!
It’s weird how much easier it is to talk to Subaru through that mask of the match-making program instead of talking to him directly.
When Ryo thinks about , it’s not a storm that pulls him from his feet but more like a quiet river, waves constantly brushing against the shores. It’s a little calm but at the same time safe and relaxed. There was a time when Ryo wanted adventures and feel the excitement and the danger but he isn’t like that anymore. He likes to feel safe and warm, wants to be steady in his relationship.
It could be so freaking easy, if it was anyone else but Subaru.
~~~
He needs to talk about it. Just has to. He can’t keep it to himself and lock it inside him. It’s impossible, so he goes for the only option he has.
“What’s so bad about liking Subaru?” Yasu wants to know silently after he listened to the whole story.
“Nothing. Just-“
“Just?”
“Everything changes,” Ryo says and he sounds a little too sad even to his own ears. “During the last years everything, I used to know changed. Friendships broke and I couldn’t avoid it. I just don’t want to-“ he doesn’t voice out what he doesn’t want because Yasu nods all of a sudden and Ryo is eternally thankful that he doesn’t laugh about him and his weird obsession with this topic.
“I know.” Yasu pauses, takes a sip from his drink and sighs heavily, like he wants to choose his words with careful intent. “But you know, you said steady constant. What if for Subaru you aren’t one anymore? What if you are the one who changed?”
He was the one changing? It couldn’t be. Whenever Ryo looks back, it seems like he didn’t change at all. He has always been Ryo-chan. “Stop kidding,” he shakes his head. “Or did I really change?”
“I think, you did. See-“ Yasu nods a little towards the waitress when she brings them their sushi. “-You are not a steady constant anymore. So if you like Subaru, I would say: Go for it. Because it already did change!”
~~~
It would be a lie to say that he was really convinced by it. He wants his friendship with Subaru to remain and not turn into a mess. And a relationship could turn everything upside down, especially if it wouldn’t work out. But then, Yasu might be right, what if they already stopped being constants to each other? It already is upside down. So why not push it a step further?
Ryo smiles a bit, his heart making a careful jump. Should he? Really? Is it okay?
Yasu told him to talk with Subaru about his fears and he actually thinks that’s a good idea. Just how should he do that? He wonders how he should tell Subaru – everything, his confusion and his fears. He has never been good with words. How the hell should he tell Subaru all his feelings without messing up or ruining the mood? Or worse: chicken out again. He fears that once he stands in front of Subaru’s door, he will just bolt or not be able to tell him anything.
It’s when he passes an ad for a speed-dating event that an idea hits him. It’s easier to talk to Subaru as 3-30. He sends a message to guitarboy without thinking any further
What if we mess it up?
He has expected Subaru to take some time to answer but to his surprise, his answer comes only ten minutes later. Ryo, it’s not like I don’t understand - we will never have a guarantee. But believe me, I put a lot of thinking into this. I’m not jumping into it without having a proper plan.
It is good to know that Subaru isn’t without doubts either, Ryo thinks. It makes him feel better and a little more relaxed. What kind of plan?
The answer comes within minutes. Let’s talk about this in person. There is a new ramen restaurant~ Wanna try?
He is not so sure if Subaru means the restaurant or them as a couple. Most likely both. Ryo nods and types a swift Yes before his rationality changes his mind again. Give this a try, he thinks, of course he wants to!
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no subject
Date: 2016-03-24 07:21 pm (UTC)Ryo and Subaru are really cute together, and of course is Ryo just a little bit stupid :D
I really like Yasu's help here, he is so random and just straight forward :D
The scene where Ryo and Subaru play guitar together was really cool.
And I am glad they made it in the end. :D
Thanks sooo much for sharing this one <3
no subject
Date: 2016-03-27 11:46 am (UTC)I'm happy you like this <3 Yasu is like Ryo's personal cheerleader here, right? Well, he helped a lot :-)
no subject
Date: 2016-05-24 01:57 am (UTC)thank you very much!!! I loved your previous fics and I love the recent ones! ♥
you make my otp hope up! thanks again!
no subject
Date: 2016-05-24 01:22 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for your lovely comment! ♥ I'm really glad you liked this fic <3
no subject
Date: 2016-05-25 04:51 am (UTC)by the way, did you see The Television magazine scans with SubaRyo? They look adorable ♥ - and I really hope you can have news ideas for fics after you see them! xD Thanks again!
no subject
Date: 2016-05-27 08:28 am (UTC)Oh, haven't seen the scans yet! I'm going to look for them :D