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yume_to_ame2016-04-24 01:54 pm
lilly0) wrote in yume_to_ame2016-04-24 01:54 pm
Family Matters: Chapter 18
Title: Family matters ~ Chapter 18/22
Pairing: Jun, Masaki, Sho, Satoshi, Kazu (there are going to be additional side-characters though. No OCs.) I'm trying to give each of the five their well-deserves spot-light <3
Rating: PG
Multi-chapter
Genre: family!AU in which Arashi are brothers :-) slice of life, a little drama (and I'm trying to add some light-hearted, funny moments to it too)
Summary: Since they were little they were always close to each other. And when unfortunate events force them to live together without their parents, it's only natural that they try to make the best out of it.
“Here.”
Kazu is lying on his sofa, eyes closed while facing the back of his sofa. When Jun speaks, he opens his eyes, turning around. “Hm?”
“Satoshi gave this to me for you,” Jun explains and sits down next to Kazu. “He told me I should say it’s a present from me because he thinks you wouldn’t take it from him. But what the hell? Does he think you would believe that I bought something like that? Besides that he forgot to remove the price tag, so… how the hell should I have afforded that?”
Kazu blinks both at the present and the revelation, then he eyes the package. It’s a mini-drone, one of those you can send flying around to deliver messages. It’s so freaking cool that for a moment Kazu forgets to feel bad. So, Satoshi did really buy this for him? He saw it and thought of him? This is so sweet, so nice, ah~ But then he remembers that he shouldn’t feel too excited about that. He doesn’t deserve it. “Cool,” he says calmly and puts the package to the side, so he doesn’t need to see it.
Jun frowns. “Is that all you have to say? This is actually a really nice present.”
“Yeah,” Kazu mumbles. It is. Almost too nice.
“Want to try it? The manual is like 150 pages long, I think. We could go through it,” Jun suggests.
Kazu has to fight not to smile automatically at that. Jun is so nice and sweet, and so freaking supportive that it almost hurts. He hasn’t left his side at all, the entire time he was there – hundred percent forgiving and patient, although Kazu had dragged him into his problems all this time. It’s painful to realize that he actually loaded his favourite brother with all his problems while he had issues himself. He has been really sly towards Jun. So mean.
“No,” Kazu says.
Jun pulls his eyebrows up in surprise. “Do you want to do something else? I’m free right now. Why not going for a walk?”
Again it strikes Kazu how nice Jun is – it feels good, but at the same time it stings a bit. “Spare your pity,” Kazu mumbles and bites down on his tongue immediately after he said it. The moment he sees the hurt look on Jun’s face, he sits up. “J-“
“No, forget it!” Jun blurts out angrily. “You know what, if you really think it’s pity, then I’ve obviously wasted my time.”
“No.” Kazu shakes his head. “Jun, it came out wrong. I didn’t want to say it like that.”
“That’s the fifth time you tell me exactly that right after you say something mean to my face,” Jun says and stands up, much to Kazu’s dismay. “What exactly is it you want to say then?”
That is indeed a very good question. Kazu opens his mouth, wanting to explain all these weird thoughts swirling around in his mind. For a moment Jun halts and looks at him expectantly. He can’t. “Nothing,” Kazu mumbles helplessly.
“You know what!?” Jun hisses in sudden anger and opens the door. “The self-pity phase doesn’t suit you at all!”
Kazu frowns. “This is not fair, Jun,” he finally blurts outs. “It’s a lot more difficult than that.”
“It is?” Jun huffs. “Well, how should I know? I’m just here out of pity after all!”
Kazu frowns deeply. “Jun, listen-“
“No, you listen,” Jun says calmly. “Call me when you’ve come down from whatever it is you are on. And I’ll happily be at your side then. But I’m not letting you treat me like your punching bag all the time! Because that’s not fair either.”
With that he disappears out of Kazu’s room. Kazu wishes he could convince him to just come back, but he has no idea how. Besides there is no chance to do that anyways as a glance out of the window tells him that Jun immediately went jogging. Well, brilliant. He is probably away for at least two hours.
For exactly 25 minutes and 15 seconds Kazu keeps sitting in the same position, exactly like after Jun left the room. He feels weirdly restless, and his throat is dry all of a sudden. The feeling is so uncomfortable that he decides to pad to the kitchen and catch himself some tea.
To his unfortunate rotten luck he bumps directly into Sho and Masaki there.
“WAH!” Masaki exclaims and Kazu almost drops his cup. “Who are you, young man?”
“Yes.” Sho plays along. “I believe I haven’t seen you around before.”
“Maybe we should call the police,” Masaki muses. “A stranger is in our kitchen…”
Sho nods earnestly. “We don’t know what he is up to, you are right. What if he steals our money?”
“That would be bad indeed.” Masaki fakes a frown, before he bursts into giggles.
Idiots!
“Very funny,” Kazu grumbles and takes the can with the tea that’s always prepared - thanks to Masaki. When he wants to silently leave the kitchen again, Masaki grabs his arm with a grin.
“You think we’ll let you just escape into your room again after you finally showed yourself here?” He grins. “And don’t worry, Sa-chan isn’t around. So it’s save.”
Before Kazu can send him a glare, Sho has already shoved him onto one of the chairs. Kazu is about to get up again and leave, when his eyes catch the plates in front of his brothers. Perfect hot dogs. When he eyes the kitchen counter he can see a hotdog machine there. “What the hell… since when do we have that?”
“Since a few days ago, when Sho told me how awesome I am and gave it to me as a present,” Masaki explains.
Sho chuckles. “I did. But you know-” He points at his hotdog. “I’m thinking cheese-filled sausages here, not the normal ones. Though I can already hear Jun’s snarky comments about how gluttonous I am.”
“Cheese-filled? Exactly!” Masaki exclaims.
Kazu stares at the two of them in disbelief. “Since when are you getting along so well?”
For a moment the other two seem to be embarrassed, but then Sho shrugs a bit. “It just happened, Kazu. We’ve learned.”
“Yeah, and you won’t believe it.” Masaki giggles. “Last week Jun even surprisingly visited Sho at his work, and they went for lunch. Without a fight! It was all calm and casual, and Jun was nice, and Sho understanding. Can you believe that?”
“J?” Kazu asks in disbelief. “On his own will?”
“Yes, we had an awesomely deep talk. And just yesterday I convinced him to meet me for lunch this week too.” Sho grins like the dork he can be sometimes. “Oh, talking about. In the corridor is a bag with stuff from school. Ryo-kun gave it to me.”
“Ryo?” Kazu’s eyes widen even further. “You know Ryo-chan?”
“Yeah, we have been meeting with Karina-san regularly,” Masaki explains randomly. “Last week she even invited us for Sunday-lunch. You didn’t want to join, remember?”
Kazu frowns. Something inside his head starts spinning by all this information. As for the invitation… He didn’t know it was Karina’s invitation. But then, he wasn’t too interested in it to begin with. “And?”
“Well, Ryo-kun is living there too after all. He has also helped us a lot with finding you when you were getting beaten up.”
Kazu still can’t believe it. What they hell did happen during the last weeks? Between his hospital stay and today were only three weeks. All of that happened in such a short time? He feels like he is about to have a panic attack, his fingers start trembling. Something inside his chest clenches; suddenly it’s difficult to breath. Fuck, he knows that feeling. But damn it, not here, not in front of them... Masaki puts a hand on his arm, rubbing it slightly without saying anything. Breathe, Kazu thinks, trying to remember all the strategies Matsuda-sensei taught him and Jun during their hospital stay after the accident. He sighs slightly when the panic starts to subside.
Sho seems to have sensed his anxiety too because he smiles softly now. “You know, Kazu-chan, the world has been moving meanwhile. Don’t you think you have punished yourself enough already?”
“Yeah,” Masaki agrees and brushes through Kazu’s black bangs to push them back a bit. He keeps his other hand on Kazu’s arm soothingly, until Kazu stops shaking. “And it would be nice if you could join the world again and move with us. Because quite frankly, we miss you like hell.”
Kazu takes a deep breath when the suffocating feeling has finally subsided. Thank you, at least a bit of good luck. “But-“ He shakes his head, not sure what to say and how to say it. How is he supposed to react?
“So, what happened that you came down to the kitchen?” Masaki asks mercilessly without giving him time to react properly.
“Nothing,” Kazu stutters.
“Weird,” Sho mock-muses. “That’s exactly the same answer Jun gave us when he passed us and stomped off. He had that perfect downright angry expression. And by fact I know that this time it’s not directed at me.”
“Neither at me.” Masaki smirks and eyes Kazu.
The latter blushes. “So what!?” he huffs. “We had a fight, okay? It happens. Are you happy now?”
Sho tilts his head, frowning slightly. “Happy that you fought and are upset? Not really. But happy that it gave you a kick in the butt to finally came downstairs and talk to us again, yes.”
Kazu blinks in surprise, a slight blush crawling over his cheeks. “What?”
“You have not talked with us since weeks, Kazu,” Masaki reminds him. “Sho is right about that. No matter what we did and what we tried, there was never something coming back. No reaction at all. You only somewhat grunted at Jun, but we others didn’t get anything out of you.”
“Do you think that’s fair towards us?” Sho pushes it further.
“You are nice,” Kazu mumbles tiredly. “You try really hard. But I…” he pauses.
“You don’t think you deserve it,” Sho concludes calmly.
“Is that true?” Masaki raises his eyebrows in surprise. “How stupid,” he says dryly. “No seriously, no need to glare at me, Kazu-chan. It is freaking stupid. You are mad at yourself, fine. I can understand that. But we decide ourselves if we want to be nice and supportive to you or not. And it just so happens we want to. So stop sulking and being selfish, and suck it up, and try to move forward to prove us we are not wasting our efforts and our faith! Because all you did until now was being extremely gloomy, not talking to us and staring at the wall in front of you. Snap out of it already!”
Kazu stares at Masaki in mere puzzlement. Out of the thousands of thoughts that swirl around in his mind right now, he is only able to grasp one of it immediately now. “You really are something when you are in your Buddha-mode,” he says softly, smiling carefully.
“It’s fascinating, right?” Sho smiles. “So what did you fight about with Jun?”
“Pretty much about what you just said,” Kazu stutters. “Just the short version of it. And I think I hurt his feelings for real this time. To imagine he was always at my side and then I throw something like that at him…”
“Like what?” Masaki wants to know while chewing on his hot dog.
Kazu shifts around nervously, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Talking openly like that indeed is something else… and he normally only does it with Jun. But then, Jun is not here right now, and it’s his fault… “I kind of said to him that he is just at my side out of pity,” he stutters. “Something like that…”
Sho raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, that was stupid.”
“Not only stupid,” Kazu mumbles. “It was also mean.”
“True again,” Sho says mercilessly.
Kazu sighs. “I know. I knew it’s stupid and mean the moment I said it. But I can’t take back words I said. It’s impossible. Jun probably feels so betrayed. Years he was there for me, and I just ruined his faith in me with something silly like that.”
Sho chuckles. “Don’t be stupid, Kazunari.” He smiles. “You didn’t ruin anything at all. Jun is just angry at you right now.”
“Yeah,” Masaki agrees. “What you said is nothing in comparison to all the stuff Sho already said to him.”
“Well, thank you very much for reminding me of it, you idiot,” Sho grumbles, but his words lack real bite, and Masaki just chuckles. “But he is right,” Sho admits. “This is just a tiny argument. You can easily settle it. Just look at us. If Jun would be that unforgiving, he wouldn’t talk to me or Sa-chan ever again.”
“Or to me,” Masaki points out. “After all I yelled at him last week and sent him to his room because he came home late from school. Neither Sa-chan nor I wanted to listen to him because we were so tensed and caught in our prejudice.”
Kazu blinks in surprise. Another story he hasn’t heard about yet. Damn it, did all of that really happen? It’s like he has been in a different world, in a different place, not really living here with his brothers. “I’ve not been particularly nice to be around recently,” he finally admits. “I was so caught in my own self-pity that I forgot that being gloomy and closing myself up won’t do anything, especially it won’t restore any faith in me after I misused everyone’s trust. I was selfish again.”
“Hm,” Sho hums and smiles slightly. “Now you finally got it.”
“I’ll try to do better,” Kazu promises. He means it, honestly, but still he feels nervous. “I just don’t know where to start and how to do it. And, I mean… I have no plan at all… No matter how hard I tried to think, nothing really came to my mind.”
“That’s because you weren’t thinking of the future,” Masaki points out, suddenly in his Buddha-mode again. “You were thinking of the past and how you did wrong, and the mistakes you made. It’s fine that you do that because you should feel guilty for all the obvious things which I won’t repeat right now, because seriously we’ve talked about it plenty of times. But it won’t help to focus on it all the time. You need to look into the future too. And the reason you didn’t talk to anyone about it, not even Jun, is because you know you need to solve it alone. We can only help you once you decide what to do, but the initial path you want to walk on… that’s your decision. You’ve been pushing Jun aside because you knew it would be too alluring to reach out to him again, and to use him once more.”
The glance Sho throws Masaki is almost amusing for Kazu, as he looks between surprised, impressed and slightly scared. “Sometimes I really feel like you are obsessed by an alter-ego,” Sho teases softly before he is earnest again. “Ma-chan is right, Kazu. And pushing us aside and lashing out against Jun won’t help you either. You have to find your own path, that’s true, and you can’t and shouldn’t rely on Jun again for it, for the sake of the both of you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share your thoughts and problems with him. You can still ask for his advice.”
“Oh god.” Kazu hides his head behind his arms, feeling embarrassed like never before. They are so right, it’s unbelievable. He was so stupid. He let it out on his brothers and Jun the whole time, moping and sulking, without even trying to do anything better. He has pushed Jun away because he didn’t want to involve him again, but hurt him at the same time by doing so. “Why are you saying so many embarrassing things? You have no hearts and sense for the right timing. Next time write me an email.”
Masaki giggles and pulls his arm away to reveal his face. “So what do you really have to say aside from being your usual sarcastic and bratty self?”
Kazu takes his while to answer Masaki’s question, and apparently it was important enough for his brothers to not push him but wait patiently. After a while he takes a deep breath. “I’ll probably be hard to be around for a while,” he admits shyly. “I’ll probably alienate Jun and lash out on him a few more times, while hoping he will forgive me each time. And I will probably go into sulking mode again here and there. So when I do any of that… sulk or be gloomy or unfair towards Jun, please kick my butt. I promise, this time I won’t close myself off against you. I’ll try to do better whenever you point out that I’m straying from my promises.”
Sho smiles contently. “Now that’s a promise!”
Masaki nods too. “I knew it was worth to have trust in you.”
“Thank you.” Kazu smiles slightly. “Though I can’t believe I had a fight with Jun out of all…”
“Hm… what are you going to do when you hurt someone’s feelings?” Masaki asks with a grin; his voice sounds like he is talking to a little child.
Kazu has to smile. “Okay, I got it,” he says. “I’ll apologize to him. And try to do better from now on.”
“That’s the right spirit,” Masaki exclaims. “Now, do you want a hotdog? I can offer you one with cheese and chilli topping and one with cheese-mayonnaise-onions.”
“Well.” Kazu takes a deep breath, giving himself the hugest mental kick in the butt he could possibly be able to. “Cheese and chilli please.”
~~~
Later that afternoon he has retreated back to his room, feeling tired - not the exhaustion he felt during the last weeks, but rather a calming tiredness.
The first thing he does is sending a message to Ryo. Sorry for being such a prick, Ryo. Dropping by at the weekend?
The answer comes surprisingly fast. It’s typical for Ryo not to overthink anything, to be there for him when he needs him. Wow, thought you would never ask. :D Yeah, will come around lunch. Is that okay?
It is. ;-) Be prepared to suffer through Mario Kart. I’ll beat you mercilessly.
HAHA, you wish you will, you shrimp!!
Now that this is set, Kazu goes to the more difficult task. Namely his stubborn brother. Jun isn’t actually all that easy to really upset (at least not when it’s Kazu), but once he is, it’s getting freaking difficult to make him come out of his shell again.
Kazu’s glance falls on the package next to his sofa. Satoshi bought that for him, didn’t he? He takes it into his hands, this time checking on it carefully. It really is cool, like… crazy-cool. Something inside Kazu’s stomach tugs. What kind of messages did Satoshi want to send to him with that?
Well, while he tries to figure that out and to find a way to make Jun talk to him again, he can as well try to get that thing going.
A/N: So, Jun and Kazu had their first argument in... years probably. Or maybe the first in general? OO And Kazu freaks out. Actually it's not even that much of an argument, right? I mean, Jun had by far more difficult fights with Satoshi and Sho. But still, if you are so close and never argue, then it might come as a shock?
And finally Sho and Masaki were able to give Kazu a kick in his butt too :D
Pairing: Jun, Masaki, Sho, Satoshi, Kazu (there are going to be additional side-characters though. No OCs.) I'm trying to give each of the five their well-deserves spot-light <3
Rating: PG
Multi-chapter
Genre: family!AU in which Arashi are brothers :-) slice of life, a little drama (and I'm trying to add some light-hearted, funny moments to it too)
Summary: Since they were little they were always close to each other. And when unfortunate events force them to live together without their parents, it's only natural that they try to make the best out of it.
“Here.”
Kazu is lying on his sofa, eyes closed while facing the back of his sofa. When Jun speaks, he opens his eyes, turning around. “Hm?”
“Satoshi gave this to me for you,” Jun explains and sits down next to Kazu. “He told me I should say it’s a present from me because he thinks you wouldn’t take it from him. But what the hell? Does he think you would believe that I bought something like that? Besides that he forgot to remove the price tag, so… how the hell should I have afforded that?”
Kazu blinks both at the present and the revelation, then he eyes the package. It’s a mini-drone, one of those you can send flying around to deliver messages. It’s so freaking cool that for a moment Kazu forgets to feel bad. So, Satoshi did really buy this for him? He saw it and thought of him? This is so sweet, so nice, ah~ But then he remembers that he shouldn’t feel too excited about that. He doesn’t deserve it. “Cool,” he says calmly and puts the package to the side, so he doesn’t need to see it.
Jun frowns. “Is that all you have to say? This is actually a really nice present.”
“Yeah,” Kazu mumbles. It is. Almost too nice.
“Want to try it? The manual is like 150 pages long, I think. We could go through it,” Jun suggests.
Kazu has to fight not to smile automatically at that. Jun is so nice and sweet, and so freaking supportive that it almost hurts. He hasn’t left his side at all, the entire time he was there – hundred percent forgiving and patient, although Kazu had dragged him into his problems all this time. It’s painful to realize that he actually loaded his favourite brother with all his problems while he had issues himself. He has been really sly towards Jun. So mean.
“No,” Kazu says.
Jun pulls his eyebrows up in surprise. “Do you want to do something else? I’m free right now. Why not going for a walk?”
Again it strikes Kazu how nice Jun is – it feels good, but at the same time it stings a bit. “Spare your pity,” Kazu mumbles and bites down on his tongue immediately after he said it. The moment he sees the hurt look on Jun’s face, he sits up. “J-“
“No, forget it!” Jun blurts out angrily. “You know what, if you really think it’s pity, then I’ve obviously wasted my time.”
“No.” Kazu shakes his head. “Jun, it came out wrong. I didn’t want to say it like that.”
“That’s the fifth time you tell me exactly that right after you say something mean to my face,” Jun says and stands up, much to Kazu’s dismay. “What exactly is it you want to say then?”
That is indeed a very good question. Kazu opens his mouth, wanting to explain all these weird thoughts swirling around in his mind. For a moment Jun halts and looks at him expectantly. He can’t. “Nothing,” Kazu mumbles helplessly.
“You know what!?” Jun hisses in sudden anger and opens the door. “The self-pity phase doesn’t suit you at all!”
Kazu frowns. “This is not fair, Jun,” he finally blurts outs. “It’s a lot more difficult than that.”
“It is?” Jun huffs. “Well, how should I know? I’m just here out of pity after all!”
Kazu frowns deeply. “Jun, listen-“
“No, you listen,” Jun says calmly. “Call me when you’ve come down from whatever it is you are on. And I’ll happily be at your side then. But I’m not letting you treat me like your punching bag all the time! Because that’s not fair either.”
With that he disappears out of Kazu’s room. Kazu wishes he could convince him to just come back, but he has no idea how. Besides there is no chance to do that anyways as a glance out of the window tells him that Jun immediately went jogging. Well, brilliant. He is probably away for at least two hours.
For exactly 25 minutes and 15 seconds Kazu keeps sitting in the same position, exactly like after Jun left the room. He feels weirdly restless, and his throat is dry all of a sudden. The feeling is so uncomfortable that he decides to pad to the kitchen and catch himself some tea.
To his unfortunate rotten luck he bumps directly into Sho and Masaki there.
“WAH!” Masaki exclaims and Kazu almost drops his cup. “Who are you, young man?”
“Yes.” Sho plays along. “I believe I haven’t seen you around before.”
“Maybe we should call the police,” Masaki muses. “A stranger is in our kitchen…”
Sho nods earnestly. “We don’t know what he is up to, you are right. What if he steals our money?”
“That would be bad indeed.” Masaki fakes a frown, before he bursts into giggles.
Idiots!
“Very funny,” Kazu grumbles and takes the can with the tea that’s always prepared - thanks to Masaki. When he wants to silently leave the kitchen again, Masaki grabs his arm with a grin.
“You think we’ll let you just escape into your room again after you finally showed yourself here?” He grins. “And don’t worry, Sa-chan isn’t around. So it’s save.”
Before Kazu can send him a glare, Sho has already shoved him onto one of the chairs. Kazu is about to get up again and leave, when his eyes catch the plates in front of his brothers. Perfect hot dogs. When he eyes the kitchen counter he can see a hotdog machine there. “What the hell… since when do we have that?”
“Since a few days ago, when Sho told me how awesome I am and gave it to me as a present,” Masaki explains.
Sho chuckles. “I did. But you know-” He points at his hotdog. “I’m thinking cheese-filled sausages here, not the normal ones. Though I can already hear Jun’s snarky comments about how gluttonous I am.”
“Cheese-filled? Exactly!” Masaki exclaims.
Kazu stares at the two of them in disbelief. “Since when are you getting along so well?”
For a moment the other two seem to be embarrassed, but then Sho shrugs a bit. “It just happened, Kazu. We’ve learned.”
“Yeah, and you won’t believe it.” Masaki giggles. “Last week Jun even surprisingly visited Sho at his work, and they went for lunch. Without a fight! It was all calm and casual, and Jun was nice, and Sho understanding. Can you believe that?”
“J?” Kazu asks in disbelief. “On his own will?”
“Yes, we had an awesomely deep talk. And just yesterday I convinced him to meet me for lunch this week too.” Sho grins like the dork he can be sometimes. “Oh, talking about. In the corridor is a bag with stuff from school. Ryo-kun gave it to me.”
“Ryo?” Kazu’s eyes widen even further. “You know Ryo-chan?”
“Yeah, we have been meeting with Karina-san regularly,” Masaki explains randomly. “Last week she even invited us for Sunday-lunch. You didn’t want to join, remember?”
Kazu frowns. Something inside his head starts spinning by all this information. As for the invitation… He didn’t know it was Karina’s invitation. But then, he wasn’t too interested in it to begin with. “And?”
“Well, Ryo-kun is living there too after all. He has also helped us a lot with finding you when you were getting beaten up.”
Kazu still can’t believe it. What they hell did happen during the last weeks? Between his hospital stay and today were only three weeks. All of that happened in such a short time? He feels like he is about to have a panic attack, his fingers start trembling. Something inside his chest clenches; suddenly it’s difficult to breath. Fuck, he knows that feeling. But damn it, not here, not in front of them... Masaki puts a hand on his arm, rubbing it slightly without saying anything. Breathe, Kazu thinks, trying to remember all the strategies Matsuda-sensei taught him and Jun during their hospital stay after the accident. He sighs slightly when the panic starts to subside.
Sho seems to have sensed his anxiety too because he smiles softly now. “You know, Kazu-chan, the world has been moving meanwhile. Don’t you think you have punished yourself enough already?”
“Yeah,” Masaki agrees and brushes through Kazu’s black bangs to push them back a bit. He keeps his other hand on Kazu’s arm soothingly, until Kazu stops shaking. “And it would be nice if you could join the world again and move with us. Because quite frankly, we miss you like hell.”
Kazu takes a deep breath when the suffocating feeling has finally subsided. Thank you, at least a bit of good luck. “But-“ He shakes his head, not sure what to say and how to say it. How is he supposed to react?
“So, what happened that you came down to the kitchen?” Masaki asks mercilessly without giving him time to react properly.
“Nothing,” Kazu stutters.
“Weird,” Sho mock-muses. “That’s exactly the same answer Jun gave us when he passed us and stomped off. He had that perfect downright angry expression. And by fact I know that this time it’s not directed at me.”
“Neither at me.” Masaki smirks and eyes Kazu.
The latter blushes. “So what!?” he huffs. “We had a fight, okay? It happens. Are you happy now?”
Sho tilts his head, frowning slightly. “Happy that you fought and are upset? Not really. But happy that it gave you a kick in the butt to finally came downstairs and talk to us again, yes.”
Kazu blinks in surprise, a slight blush crawling over his cheeks. “What?”
“You have not talked with us since weeks, Kazu,” Masaki reminds him. “Sho is right about that. No matter what we did and what we tried, there was never something coming back. No reaction at all. You only somewhat grunted at Jun, but we others didn’t get anything out of you.”
“Do you think that’s fair towards us?” Sho pushes it further.
“You are nice,” Kazu mumbles tiredly. “You try really hard. But I…” he pauses.
“You don’t think you deserve it,” Sho concludes calmly.
“Is that true?” Masaki raises his eyebrows in surprise. “How stupid,” he says dryly. “No seriously, no need to glare at me, Kazu-chan. It is freaking stupid. You are mad at yourself, fine. I can understand that. But we decide ourselves if we want to be nice and supportive to you or not. And it just so happens we want to. So stop sulking and being selfish, and suck it up, and try to move forward to prove us we are not wasting our efforts and our faith! Because all you did until now was being extremely gloomy, not talking to us and staring at the wall in front of you. Snap out of it already!”
Kazu stares at Masaki in mere puzzlement. Out of the thousands of thoughts that swirl around in his mind right now, he is only able to grasp one of it immediately now. “You really are something when you are in your Buddha-mode,” he says softly, smiling carefully.
“It’s fascinating, right?” Sho smiles. “So what did you fight about with Jun?”
“Pretty much about what you just said,” Kazu stutters. “Just the short version of it. And I think I hurt his feelings for real this time. To imagine he was always at my side and then I throw something like that at him…”
“Like what?” Masaki wants to know while chewing on his hot dog.
Kazu shifts around nervously, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Talking openly like that indeed is something else… and he normally only does it with Jun. But then, Jun is not here right now, and it’s his fault… “I kind of said to him that he is just at my side out of pity,” he stutters. “Something like that…”
Sho raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, that was stupid.”
“Not only stupid,” Kazu mumbles. “It was also mean.”
“True again,” Sho says mercilessly.
Kazu sighs. “I know. I knew it’s stupid and mean the moment I said it. But I can’t take back words I said. It’s impossible. Jun probably feels so betrayed. Years he was there for me, and I just ruined his faith in me with something silly like that.”
Sho chuckles. “Don’t be stupid, Kazunari.” He smiles. “You didn’t ruin anything at all. Jun is just angry at you right now.”
“Yeah,” Masaki agrees. “What you said is nothing in comparison to all the stuff Sho already said to him.”
“Well, thank you very much for reminding me of it, you idiot,” Sho grumbles, but his words lack real bite, and Masaki just chuckles. “But he is right,” Sho admits. “This is just a tiny argument. You can easily settle it. Just look at us. If Jun would be that unforgiving, he wouldn’t talk to me or Sa-chan ever again.”
“Or to me,” Masaki points out. “After all I yelled at him last week and sent him to his room because he came home late from school. Neither Sa-chan nor I wanted to listen to him because we were so tensed and caught in our prejudice.”
Kazu blinks in surprise. Another story he hasn’t heard about yet. Damn it, did all of that really happen? It’s like he has been in a different world, in a different place, not really living here with his brothers. “I’ve not been particularly nice to be around recently,” he finally admits. “I was so caught in my own self-pity that I forgot that being gloomy and closing myself up won’t do anything, especially it won’t restore any faith in me after I misused everyone’s trust. I was selfish again.”
“Hm,” Sho hums and smiles slightly. “Now you finally got it.”
“I’ll try to do better,” Kazu promises. He means it, honestly, but still he feels nervous. “I just don’t know where to start and how to do it. And, I mean… I have no plan at all… No matter how hard I tried to think, nothing really came to my mind.”
“That’s because you weren’t thinking of the future,” Masaki points out, suddenly in his Buddha-mode again. “You were thinking of the past and how you did wrong, and the mistakes you made. It’s fine that you do that because you should feel guilty for all the obvious things which I won’t repeat right now, because seriously we’ve talked about it plenty of times. But it won’t help to focus on it all the time. You need to look into the future too. And the reason you didn’t talk to anyone about it, not even Jun, is because you know you need to solve it alone. We can only help you once you decide what to do, but the initial path you want to walk on… that’s your decision. You’ve been pushing Jun aside because you knew it would be too alluring to reach out to him again, and to use him once more.”
The glance Sho throws Masaki is almost amusing for Kazu, as he looks between surprised, impressed and slightly scared. “Sometimes I really feel like you are obsessed by an alter-ego,” Sho teases softly before he is earnest again. “Ma-chan is right, Kazu. And pushing us aside and lashing out against Jun won’t help you either. You have to find your own path, that’s true, and you can’t and shouldn’t rely on Jun again for it, for the sake of the both of you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share your thoughts and problems with him. You can still ask for his advice.”
“Oh god.” Kazu hides his head behind his arms, feeling embarrassed like never before. They are so right, it’s unbelievable. He was so stupid. He let it out on his brothers and Jun the whole time, moping and sulking, without even trying to do anything better. He has pushed Jun away because he didn’t want to involve him again, but hurt him at the same time by doing so. “Why are you saying so many embarrassing things? You have no hearts and sense for the right timing. Next time write me an email.”
Masaki giggles and pulls his arm away to reveal his face. “So what do you really have to say aside from being your usual sarcastic and bratty self?”
Kazu takes his while to answer Masaki’s question, and apparently it was important enough for his brothers to not push him but wait patiently. After a while he takes a deep breath. “I’ll probably be hard to be around for a while,” he admits shyly. “I’ll probably alienate Jun and lash out on him a few more times, while hoping he will forgive me each time. And I will probably go into sulking mode again here and there. So when I do any of that… sulk or be gloomy or unfair towards Jun, please kick my butt. I promise, this time I won’t close myself off against you. I’ll try to do better whenever you point out that I’m straying from my promises.”
Sho smiles contently. “Now that’s a promise!”
Masaki nods too. “I knew it was worth to have trust in you.”
“Thank you.” Kazu smiles slightly. “Though I can’t believe I had a fight with Jun out of all…”
“Hm… what are you going to do when you hurt someone’s feelings?” Masaki asks with a grin; his voice sounds like he is talking to a little child.
Kazu has to smile. “Okay, I got it,” he says. “I’ll apologize to him. And try to do better from now on.”
“That’s the right spirit,” Masaki exclaims. “Now, do you want a hotdog? I can offer you one with cheese and chilli topping and one with cheese-mayonnaise-onions.”
“Well.” Kazu takes a deep breath, giving himself the hugest mental kick in the butt he could possibly be able to. “Cheese and chilli please.”
~~~
Later that afternoon he has retreated back to his room, feeling tired - not the exhaustion he felt during the last weeks, but rather a calming tiredness.
The first thing he does is sending a message to Ryo. Sorry for being such a prick, Ryo. Dropping by at the weekend?
The answer comes surprisingly fast. It’s typical for Ryo not to overthink anything, to be there for him when he needs him. Wow, thought you would never ask. :D Yeah, will come around lunch. Is that okay?
It is. ;-) Be prepared to suffer through Mario Kart. I’ll beat you mercilessly.
HAHA, you wish you will, you shrimp!!
Now that this is set, Kazu goes to the more difficult task. Namely his stubborn brother. Jun isn’t actually all that easy to really upset (at least not when it’s Kazu), but once he is, it’s getting freaking difficult to make him come out of his shell again.
Kazu’s glance falls on the package next to his sofa. Satoshi bought that for him, didn’t he? He takes it into his hands, this time checking on it carefully. It really is cool, like… crazy-cool. Something inside Kazu’s stomach tugs. What kind of messages did Satoshi want to send to him with that?
Well, while he tries to figure that out and to find a way to make Jun talk to him again, he can as well try to get that thing going.
A/N: So, Jun and Kazu had their first argument in... years probably. Or maybe the first in general? OO And Kazu freaks out. Actually it's not even that much of an argument, right? I mean, Jun had by far more difficult fights with Satoshi and Sho. But still, if you are so close and never argue, then it might come as a shock?
And finally Sho and Masaki were able to give Kazu a kick in his butt too :D
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Jun had the right to be angry i think, after all of his patience and effort for kazu, it's just the right thing that he finally lashed it out to kazu, and gladly it came with a good result for kazu that he started to open himself again to his family :)
Nice chapter! Thanks for updating, and i am definitely wait for the next one!
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I think Jun really had enough at this point. He was really patient with Kazu after all, and couldn't help letting out some frustration. (besides, as you said, it might help them ^^)
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! ♥
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I'll probably re-read this fic someday. Anyway, have a good day! Cheers.
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Aiba's Buddha-mode really is something, right? :D
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So sad that Nino felt undeserving of their love and care, but he seems to be in a better place now after some sensible advice from his brothers, not least from Masaki who continues to surprise.
I'm sure that Nino will win Jun round if he can come up with the right message to send him on the drone.
I think I want to join this family, that hotdog maker sounds awesome.
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These two have hardly argued before, so...this is a whole new experience for them... And true, Nino really feels like he doesn't deserve his brothers' love. :-/ But he is gradually coming out of his shell again :-)
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Yes, it was bound to happen that these two fight with each other. But Kazu is slowly opening up again :-)
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Kazu and Jun's fight was somehow cute- it was sooo, teenager-ish. It is bound to happen, too. And, perhaps that was what they needed at the time, to sort many things out. Especially for Kazu, to finally realize that he deserves a second chance. His conversation with Sho and Masaki was heartwarming, that kind of conversation you have with siblings. You were shot down by the truth you were so desperately wanted to bury, but at the same time given warmth by knowing that you're not alone.
Masaki in Buddha-mode is awesome as always! And the way he concluded thing (by telling Kazu to go apologize) was just Masaki-ish. Mature, yet childish at the same time. Just the thing Kazu need.
Sho's presence was like the mediator for Kazu there. Can't believe the hot-tempered Sho had matured into a patient and understanding older brother. *sighs*
Satoshi must have not think much when he bought the drone, only that it reminded him to Kazu- thus the urge to buy it on the spot. And that's what Kazu needed to realize soon, that you don't need a reason to care and to think of others. You just did.
Come back soon, bratty-Kazu!
Thank you for the update!
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Masaki has his very own way to deal with his family and their problems :-) I think he never believed that Sho would gang up together with him, and be at his side, all calm and understanding. Sho really turned into a mentor it seems.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment! ♥♥
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I will really start to think like Sho for Masaki's Buddha mode x) But seriously I'm really happy that Kazu had finally open up to Sho and Masaki. That's really a great step forward. Little by little. And maybe the making up between him and Satoshi won't be so far away ^^
Thanks for this !
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Masaki's buddha mode really is something, right? :D But his patience really payed off and he and Sho managed to get down to Kazu's feelings :-)
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I am happy that Nino opens up again, that's the most important step I think. The fight with Jun was bad, but I think that was necessary to get Nino out of it. I hope he can clear things with Jun, and maybe a little drone-message can help to solve this mess? :D
Mhmmmmmmm Hot dog.....now I want a hot dog and a coffee with all the toppings :D
Ryo is really nice <3 He is still there, even though Nino avoids him, I hope they'll manage it to stay together <3
Thanks for this chapter, I really enjoyed reading it, and I am looking forward to the next one
(PS: Yeahhhh finally I caught up <3)
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Haha, yes, Masaki can be all serious too, and his buddha mode really is something. :D And finally his brothers are listening to him too :D
I'm happy you llike Ryo here, though he doesn't get much screen time in this fic >
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I hope Jun is able to forgive Kazu but the fight couldn't have been easy on them, especially after everything else that has already happened. Jun's right, he doesn't deserve to be treated like a punching bag all the time.
Keep up the amazing work! Your writing is truly inspiring.
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I'm really happy that you enjoy this story! Thanks for your support and for reading <3
I hope you'll also like the rest of it!!