Phantom Pain (Sakumoto) 2/2

[lilly0]

Jun spins around in shock, apparently so much taken aback that he drops into the full bathtub accidentally. Sho is at his side immediately, helping him out of it. “You!” Jun huffs in anger. “Why didn’t you knock!?”

Sho ignores his anger completely, pretty sure that Jun just wants to push him away right now anyway. He grabs Jun’s hands instead, and turns it around to check on it. There is a cut on his palm that goes all the way to his wrist. “Don’t do that,” Sho says earnestly. “And grabs a huge towel to throw it around Jun’s wet body first, before he takes a smaller one and wraps it around his arm.

“It’s not like that,” Jun stutters, narrowing his eyes all of a sudden.

“How is it then?” Sho wants to know firmly.

“Why do you even want to know!?” Jun huffs in sudden anger. “Why do you even care? You never cared. It’s all your fault anyway!! You are the reason. You…” His voice trails off, and Sho tries to regather his senses, shocked from what he just heard. What the hell did he ever do to Jun?

“Jun-san,” he says softly but with insistence. “I don’t understand what I did to you, and I wish I knew so that I can apologize. But no matter what. I won’t let you hurt yourself!”

Jun looks tired all of a sudden. Maybe he hoped that Sho would be drawn back by his words and leave. “I didn’t… not with intention. I mean…you know…” He sighs slightly.

“What happened?” Sho wants to know.

“I couldn’t sleep. Again.” Jun looks away. “I hardly sleep anyways, but recently I can’t even rest for two or three hours. I got so annoyed that I got up and decided to take a bath instead. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I suddenly got mad at myself and punched it. I didn’t realize that I was hitting a mirror. That’s how…”

Sho blinks, slightly surprised by the explanation. He looks Jun into his eyes, and sees no lie there. “Stupid boy,” he scolds slightly.

“I’m not a boy,” Jun argues half-heartedly.

Sho smiles slightly. “Just dry yourself up and put some clothes on, and then let’s meet in my living room.”

Jun nods meekly.

When Sho switches on the lights of the living room and starts to prepare some hot chocolate, he wonders when the hell he actually learned how to handle Jun, and since when he feels actually good and warm and fuzzy while he does so. And what Jun meant when he said it’s Sho’s fault.

He has not much time to linger on his thoughts though, because Jun only takes a few minutes to join him. His hair is still wet, and Sho takes the towel out of his hand to rub it dry. Jun looks a bit like a lost puppy when he is finished. His eyes are red, either from the lack of sleep or maybe he cried. Sho isn’t sure. And his face is almost ashen. Sho takes his hand and leads him to the sofa, forces him to sit down before he hands him the cup with hot chocolate.

“I’m not five,” Jun argues, but a small smile curls around his lips.

“One is never too old for hot chocolate,” Sho intervenes, noticing with relief that Jun’s face gets back some colour after he took a few sips. Meanwhile Sho attends to the cut on Jun’s arm, disinfecting it first while noticing the already healed cuts on Jun’s arm once more. He touches one of the thicker ones with his finger.

Jun winces, but Sho doesn’t let him tug his arm free. “Don’t look at it,” Jun huffs. “It’s ugly.”

“It is not,” Sho says quietly. “It’s not like I understand this here or why you did it, but don’t call yourself or anything about you ugly. Ever.” He trails another scar carefully, realizing with relief that all of them have to be older already. “You are not doing it anymore, are you?”

Jun shakes his head.

“Promise? Because I never want to see you cutting yourself.”

Jun’s lips tug into a sad smile. “I’m not that person anymore. I was, until Satoshi-san found me and helped me out of this horror. I’m not going to hurt myself anymore.”

“But you still have nightmares?” Sho asks carefully.

Jun nods.

“Since when can’t you sleep properly?”

“Years,” Jun answers honestly. “I had to take pills for a few years, and they helped me. But I didn’t want to rely on them anymore. A few months ago I stopped taking them. I talked to Satoshi and my doctor about it before, so don’t worry.”

“And it’s my fault?” Sho wants to know.

Jun blushes slightly. “Not really,” he admits quietly. “But I used to blame you for years. I always knew it’s not your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just… needed someone to blame, I guess.”

Sho sighs, his thumb brushing over Jun’s wrist softly. Then he pulls his hand up and places a careful kiss on Jun’s wrist. Jun doesn’t pull his arm away, instead he bites down on his lips, watching Sho with a curious and nervous glance. “You…” he mumbles. “Why now?”

“What do you mean?” Sho asks carefully.

“Are you hitting on me?”

“Maybe,” Sho admits quietly.

“Why now? Why did you dump me before?”

Sho stares at Jun dumbfounded. “Dump you? When did you confess to me?” he asks in surprise. “I never had the chance to dump you.”

Jun blinks. “But the letter I sent you when we were in school.”

“Jun-san,” Sho say earnestly, finally starting to understand some of the problems Jun was having with him. “I never received a letter. Never. I swear by everything that means something to me that I haven’t.”

“But…”

“Jun,” Sho says with insistence. “Look into my eyes. Do you believe I’m lying? It’s the truth. I never received a letter from you.”

Almost all colour gets drained from Jun’s face. For a moment he just stares at Sho in utter shock, then much to Sho’s surprise he starts crying. Thick teardrops run down his cheeks, his body shivering. Sho looks at him helplessly. All he can do during this breakdown, it seems, is to hold his hand.


~~~


They have to make a red carpet appearance together. It’s still a bit awkward between them, but it’s a new kind of awkward, and Sho can handle that one a lot better than the awkward anger between them throughout the years. He holds Jun’s hand while they pass the press. There are questions over questions raining down on them.

“Matsumoto-san, you are looking tired!” “Sakurai-san, how does it feel to share an apartment?” Matsumoto-san here, Sakurai-san there.

Sho sighs, feeling how the whole fuss drains quite some energy from them. He turns around with a polite but firm smile. “Please,” he says calmly. “Jun-san just had a small infection. I ask you to be lenient with us.”

“Such an attentive partner,” one of the journalists says. “You really seem to be in love with him.”

“Well,” Sho smiles slightly, and looks at Jun out of the corner of his eyes. “It’s because I am.”

Jun looks a bit surprised at first, then he smiles carefully.


~~~


Jun doesn’t join him for the school anniversary. “Last place I want to go,” he jokes. His mood is getting better recently, and he joins Sho whenever they are free. He has not answered to Sho’s confession up to now, but Sho assumes he needs some time to be able to voice his feelings.

When he gets to the anniversary, he is greeted by lots of known faces. Faces that look familiar but have grown over the last years. He chats with old classmates, laughs with them about how he used to have blonde hair, gets updated on interesting news like marriages and kids, sees tons of photos of little toddlers, and even meets one of his old girlfriends again. It’s only at the buffet that he meets the man he almost forgot about over the last weeks. “Sakurai-kun,” the dark-haired guy smiles at him. He has an edgy face but soft eyes.

“Oguri-kun?” Sho blinks, frowning slightly. Then he nods. It’s Oguri.

“Call me Shun,” the man laughs. “It feels weird to be called so formally by my old classmates.” He looks around a bit. “Did Jun-kun not come?” he asks, almost a bit disappointed.

Also a question Sho got confronted with a few times already. “Well, he doesn’t feel too well recently,” he explains.

“But you two are happy, aren’t you?” Shun wants to know.

Sho smiles. “I’m giving my best to make him happy.”

Shun nods, looking almost a bit sad. “I couldn’t back then,” he starts blabbing without Sho even prompting him. “I wanted to. I really liked him, but he only had eyes for you. And then one day, he wanted to confess to you. But when I saw him a few days later, he was a completely different person. He didn’t talk to me anymore, he didn’t even smile, just got easily irritated. And whenever I accidentally touched him, he freaked out.” Shun sighs. “I still don’t get it.”

“Shun-san,” Sho smiles reassuringly, basically to make him feel better. What he just heard is indeed unsettling. “Jun was going through a difficult time back then. It wasn’t your fault. I promise.”

Shun’s face lights up a bit. “Are you sure?”

“Hundred percent certain!” Sho is about to say more, but he gets interrupted by a few ahs and ohs, coming from the classmates at the door. When he looks in said direction, he feels speechless for a moment. Jun? It’s indeed him. He has switched into a pair of tight dark trousers and a silk white shirt and a fashionable blazer, suiting his usual sexy image.

He smiles politely at their old classmates, before he joins Sho at the buffet. “Sorry I’m late,” he says casually.

“Are you feeling better?” Shun asks happily.

“Yes,” Jun smiles. “And I didn’t want Sho-san to suffer alone.” He smiles at Shun. “It’s nice to meet you again, Shun-kun. I hope you are doing well?“

Shun beams happily, and Sho chuckles. He squeezes Jun’s hand and kisses his cheek, mainly to mark his territory before anyone could get stupid ideas. Jun blushes slightly, but keeps his cool. Then Sho leaves them alone, wanting to give the two some time to catch up with each other.


~~~


At the way back to their apartment Jun doesn’t talk to him though. He looks almost mad. “Jun,” Sho asks, grabbing his arm when they leave the elevator to their apartment. Jun spins around in anger.

“You!” he huffs. “You jerk!”

“What now?” Sho asks calmly.

Apparently his calm approach took the wind out of Jun’s sails. “I heard you talked with Ninomiya about me!” Jun huffs. “And probably also with Shun!”

“Yes, I did.” Sho admits. “A few weeks ago, before I found you in the bathroom. I talked to Nino, to my friend Nino, and asked him if he knew why you were so mad at me and that I had the feeling that something bad happened to you in the past. I needed to talk to a friend.”

Jun tilts his head, frowning a bit. Sho takes the moment of calmness to lead him to their apartment and close the door behind them to save them from prying eyes and ears.

“Jun-san, I was just worried,” he admits. “And I was too scared to ask you personally. Nino suggested I could talk to Shun, but I didn’t want to. At the party it was Shun who approached me and wanted to know if you would come. He talked to me. I didn’t ask him anything.”

“What did he say?” Jun wants to know.

“That you wanted to confess to me. But afterwards you were a different person. Shun thought it was his fault. He liked you back then,” Sho explains.

“He did?” Jun wants to know quietly.

Sho nods.

Jun shifts around nervously, then he sighs. “Never talk to someone about me again!” he demands with authority.

Sho has to smile. “But when you are my boyfriend, I’ll sometimes need to consult with a friend,” he points out. “You are going to be tons of work after all.”

Jun throws his shoe in Sho’s direction, and Sho dodges it with a grin. Then he approaches Jun, and brushes his hands over his arms. “Jun, I didn’t mean to hurt you or to misuse your trust. I will never tell someone anything private about you. But sometimes I will need to talk to a friend and ask him for advice. Even if it might just be for a small thing like a birthday present or an interesting new sex technique.”

Jun chuckles slightly. “Okay,” he gives in.

“Okay?” Sho asks, and squeezes Jun’s hands. “Is this the answer to my confession?”

Jun blushes a bit. “You are the only person anyways who would confess in front of the press.” He raises his hands, brushing over Sho’s cheeks. “I wished my letter would have reached you back then. I wished all the things afterwards didn’t happen.”

“Jun,” Sho puts his hands on Jun’s, squeezing them while they continue to move over Sho’s face. “I don’t know what happened. But I’m glad that life made us meet again, work together, even though you hated me at first, and that it finally led you into my arms.”

Jun smiles. “You love me?”

“Yes, I love you.”

“Good.” Jun smiles. “Because I love you too. Always did.”

Sho leans closer, his nose brushing over Jun’s. “Will you tell me what happened?”

Jun nods. “You won’t judge me?”

“Never.”

“I sent the letter to you, but then another guy got it. He met me at the place I wanted to meet you. He said you threw the letter away. I was so shocked.” Jun swallows visibly.

Sho’s eyes widen. “He forced himself on you?”

“Kind of,” Jun admits. “He blackmailed me with it. And so, I slept with him. It only went on for a few weeks though, I was lucky I assume. I met Satoshi and he saved me. I don’t even know how he did it, but he did, so I don’t question what he did to make the guy go away.”

“So that’s why,” Sho mumbles. “Why you hated me all the time. Jun… I never… I mean, I didn’t even receive your letter. I never threw it away.”

Jun smiles slightly and buries his head in Sho’s neck. “I know. I blamed you because I needed someone to blame. I was so angry, at everything, all the time. I didn’t like myself much at that time. At one point I started to search pointless sex partners and love affairs. I thought if I went for random sex, I would maybe like myself again, because others found me appealing, but of course it didn’t work like that. My job helped me a bit though, I learned to accept myself again.”

“And the press conference? The phantom pain?”

“That’s partly true,” Jun explains. “Sometimes I suffer from it because right before I left the guy beat me up. But during the conference I exaggerated of course.”

“Are you sure you are ready to let me into your life?” Sho wants to know, almost dreading to know the answer.

Jun smiles nervously all of a sudden. “Why, do you want to leave?” he teases.

Sho grins. “I have no intention to leave.” He lets go of Jun’s hands, allowing them to roam over his body, while he holds Jun’s hips. He isn’t too sure what to do now, and if it’s okay to kiss Jun, if it would feel too rushed if he did. But to his relief Jun knows what he wants, bending forward to capture Sho’s lips. They feel warm, and soft, and taste slightly like lemon balm.

Sho smiles against Jun’s lips. “My sweet Jun.”

Jun chuckles. “My silly Sho,” he jokes.

Sho laughs, and wraps his arms around Jun tighter, pulling him closer. Jun opens his lips slightly, allowing Sho’s tongue to enter.


~~~


When Sho wakes up the next morning, Jun is lying next to him. They didn’t sleep with each other, but they both wanted to sleep next to each other. Sho takes his phone sleepily, just to be greeted by approximately twenty missed calls from Nino, and tons of messages. His eyes snap open in horror. What the hell happened?

Jun stirs slightly, blinking a bit. He smiles at Sho, but soon his smile freezes. “What happened?”

“I have no idea!” Sho breathes out. “But I received tons of calls from Nino.”

Jun sits up immediately, taking his phone. “And I from Satoshi.” His eyes widen when he goes through the messages. “No, no, nonononononono.” He jumps out of the bed, and hurries to Sho’s computer. “Can I use it?”

“Sure,” Sho says, following him, not sure what Jun is looking for. Once Jun has opened twitter and the news feed for stars and idols, he sees it immediately. Actor and model Matsumoto Jun victim of sexual violence in his youth?

Did someone take advantage of him?

There are so many suggestive words and speculations flying around that Sho’s head starts spinning. He closes the laptop before Jun can read it all. His head feels dizzy. How the hell did the press find out? “I’m going to call Nino immediately,” he says. “Jun,” he says softly when Jun doesn’t react. “We are going to solve this. I’m here for you.”

Nino however can’t tell him much, just that apparently a journalist found an old year book of Jun, and investigated a bit, and heard of a few rumours. “They are only speculating,” he tells Sho. “They see him as a victim, so it won’t harm his reputation. Rather on the contrary – don’t tell him – but, as you said it yourself once, the slightly dramatic aura has always worked well for him. His popularity will definitely rise through this. But it will be hard for him to face all the journalists now.”

When Sho hangs up, he turns to a still frozen Jun. He touches his shoulder softly. “Jun,” he says, and wraps his arms around his neck from behind, his chin resting on Jun’s head. “Breakfast,” he continues. “Now. You need to get something edible in your system.”

“How can you be so calm?” Jun huffs, sudden anger flashing in his eyes.

“I am not,” Sho tells him, well aware that Jun’s anger isn’t directed at him, but rather at the world. He is just the only one there right now. “But you are more important than my anger. So, I’m keeping it inside me for now.”

“Really?” Jun asks quietly.

“Yes, I’ll definitely find out who blabbed and then I’ll find him and break-“

“No, you won’t,” Jun says much to Sho’s surprise. “Violence leads to more violence. And threats will lead to new threats.”

“But-“

“I’m not as weak as I was before,” Jun says, his fists clenching. “I’ll learn how to handle it.”

“Wait here,” Sho tells him and hurries to a little bag in the corner of his wardrobe. There is a small box inside. He hands it to Jun.

“Eh.” Jun blinks nervously. “I-“

“No, no,” Sho chuckles. “I would never ask you to commit to me through a marriage in such a situation. I know it would be too much pressure on you. This is something else.” He feels how his cheeks heat up. “A present I wanted to give you.”

Jun looks at him curiously, opening the box. It’s a dreamcatcher. A golden one with little diamonds. “Sho…” Jun stutters.

“I want you to always sleep well. I want to help you to get back all those peaceful moments you lost years ago.” He pauses. “You’ll let me be at your side, won’t you?” Sho asks. “I won’t accept you locking me out, you know?”

“I know.” Jun lips quiver. Sho hugs him tighter, his hands rubbing over his arms. He feels how Jun is shaking. He has wrapped his fingers around the item tightly.

“I won’t let you go through it alone,” he says softly. “I promise.”


~~~


Sho provides Aiba, Ohno and Nino with coffee, surprised when all three of them appeared out of nowhere and visited them. Apparently Aiba wanted to check on them, and the other two wanted to talk about the next steps to take.

Jun has calmed down a bit, but sometimes he secretly angles for Sho’s hand, and Sho squeezes it reassuringly.

After a while it’s Ohno who leans back and looks at Jun thoughtfully “Jun,” he says calmly. “Why don’t you use this story to your advantage?”

“Are you nuts!?” Jun huffs angrily. “Satoshi, what are you thinking!? That I want to gain popularity by selling my own past to the press. That I-“

Sho puts his hand on Jun’s arm to calm him down. “I’m sure he meant something else,” he says, and Ohno nods.

“Sakurai-kun is right. What I meant is: It’s out in the open anyway. Why don’t you make something productive out of it? You could basically make a campaign out of it to help other victims, you can raise the publics’ sensitivity to certain topics. What you reveal about your story is your decision.”

Jun swallows. “I could help others?”

“Yes.”

Jun bites down on his lips. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”

Ohno smiles. “You are.”

“The other problem though is,” Nino muses. “What were are going to do with the both of you. We were supposed to stage the breakup soon, but with recent happenings it’s-“

“Forget it,” Sho huffs immediately, snatching Jun’s hand. “I have no intention to stage a break-up anyway.”

To his surprise Jun chuckles slightly. “Sho-kun is very possessive,” he says with a casual smile.

Ohno and Nino exchange a look, while Aiba grins. “I knew you would make a nice couple,” he points out. “I always said you should try it.”

“Not to me,” Sho says.

“But to Jun,” Aiba intervenes.

Sho raises his eyebrows, looking at Jun. Jun however just blushes. “So what?” he stutters. “You said yourself that sometimes one needs to talk with a friend.” He pauses, eyeing Sho carefully. “Are you mad?”

“Very.” Sho grins. “I would love to punish you for it~”

Jun smacks him and chuckles. His eyes light up again, and Sho is happy to see him smile. “Idiot,” he says softly.

“Could you stop making suggestive jokes,” Nino complains, but it’s only a half-hearted complaint because he twinkles suggestively at Sho and even shows him a secret thumbs up. Meanwhile Ohno and Jun exchange a glance. Sho doesn’t quite understand what it means, but it seems Ohno is content with what he sees in Jun’s eyes.

“But it is quite convenient that it turned out like this,” Aiba points out. “No one needs to pretend a break-up or anything. And no one needs to give a press conference that they are together. Because… you guys already did. Isn’t it great that it doesn’t need to change?”

“I find it great,” Sho answers with a smile. “Jun’s my own little universe.”

“God,” Jun groans, hiding his face behind his hands. “Could you stop being so cheesy? I’m getting a sugar shock.”

“You are too skinny anyways,” Sho teases.

Ohno grins.


~~~


It seems that the whole meeting and their talk, and maybe also Sho himself, have given Jun the push he just was waiting for, because he holds a press conference only two days later together with Sho. He dashes forward, and with a straight face he tells everyone a few pieces of his past, his voice shaking sometimes and he looks sad, and Sho knows that the fangirls and boys will basically make screenshots of this face of his to squeal over it and be all over-protective. Nino is right, the rather dramatic approach works well for Jun. Now only Sho needs to find a way how he can combine his rebellious image with his now caring one. But he assumes the way he holds Jun’s hand and glares at the journalists at the same time, might just be the right middle way, because Nino just grins at him from the side, and nods. When Nino isn’t complaining, it’s a good sign.

Then Jun announces a new project to raise awareness for children, women and men who suffer from violence or sexual abuse. He plans to do a documentary in cooperation with a doctor, a therapist, two victims, a police officer and a lawyer. His strategy seems to work well, because his straight-forward approach takes the wind out of everyone’s sails.

“How are you feeling?” Sho asks when they are preparing dinner together, and Jun doesn’t throw him out of the kitchen when he wants to help.

Jun tilts his head. “Better than yesterday?” he offers.

Sho smiles softly. “That’s a step forward. And tomorrow it will be better than today.”

“What if there are days that will be worse?” Jun asks, looking at Sho nervously. “I mean, what will it mean for us? You know how prickly I can be, and how my temper can be bad when I’m confused, and-“

“Jun,” Sho says softly, puts the knife aside and grabs Jun’s hips instead to turn him around. “Stop doubting us, okay? Because you will need a lot – A LOT – more than a few moody days to get me out of your life, okay? I’m going to stick to your butt from now on, just so you know.”

“To my butt?” Jun asks, and pulls an eyebrow up. He dries his hands with his apron and takes it off, before he brushes through Sho’s hair. His eyes flicker slightly. “I would love to have you stick to it.”

“When?” Sho asks innocently, smirking when Jun bends down to kiss him.

“How about now?”

“But Matsumoto-san!” Sho complains teasingly. “The food! We can’t do it in the kitchen!”

“You are so silly.” Jun giggles, and it’s such a cute sound and it makes Sho so happy that it was him who made Jun produce it, that he wraps his arms around Jun’s waist to pull him closer. Then he surges forward and kisses him hungrily. Sho spins them around so that Jun is the one leaning against the wall now, happy that it makes him a few centimetres smaller and that Sho can cup his chin and raise his head a little to make him look at him.

“Jun,” Sho mumbles breathlessly. “May I take you to bed now?”

Jun blinks, before he chuckles and leans his forehead against Sho’s neck. “I love being romantic and all, but you have to do something against those cheesy lines,” he complains.

“I can’t help it.” Sho nibbles at Jun’s cheekbones. “You will inspire at least the next twenty songs I write.”

“Awesome…” Jun grumbles, but his eyes light up at Sho’s promise, and Sho is sure that it won’t only be twenty songs Jun will inspire him to write.

He leans forward to kiss Jun again, softer this time, but soon they pick up their pace, their tongues fighting for dominance, until Sho takes Jun’s hand to tug him towards his bedroom. They don’t stop kissing, sometimes stumbling over something, and Jun half-heartedly complains about the mess in Sho’s room, only to be shut up by Sho’s mouth again.

Sometimes the turns of events in life are weird, Sho thinks, when he feels Jun’s arms around his neck, and his body moving beneath him, strings of electric joy jolting through his body whenever Jun touches him. A few months ago he still kept his distance from Jun, angry that Jun was always so angry with him, annoyed that Jun was annoyed, and yet not able to turn his glance away from him. All they needed to find each other was a stupid publicity stunt from their management. Sho is glad that he didn’t chicken out of Nino’s and Ohno’s plan back then, that he didn’t decline because he was scared to face Jun and his weird attitude towards Sho. He is glad that he went with his guts and gave it a try. He is beyond thankful that he wasn’t a coward and didn’t run away.

Jun grabs his face. “Apparently you are bored,” he says, a dangerous smirk on his face.

“No,” Sho stutters, and blushes. “I was just thinking how surreal this is and how thankful I am that I grasped the chance to live with you, and-“

“You talk too much,” Jun teases, and spins them around, so that he sits on top of Sho. “I like your attention to be on me fully,” he smirks, and it sends a shiver of want down Sho’s spine. Jun entangles their fingers, pushing himself up a bit, and carefully lowers himself on Sho’s erection. Sho’s eyes grow wide. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any better, Jun rides him.

“You are full of surprises, my sweet Jun,” he says while he grabs Jun’s hips to help him remain uptight. “I hope there are more to come.”

“Hm,” Jun hums. “Just wait and see.”

It goes without saying that this night they make love to each other at least thrice. And it goes without saying that Jun decides to sleep in Sho’s bedroom from now on. Sho notices that the charm he gave him – the dreamcatcher – is dangling from Jun’s keys. Always next to him. They just decide to swatch their beds, because Jun’s super special bed is just too comfortable for Sho to ignore it.

“I think I might sleep well tonight,” Jun muses tiredly, entangling his fingers with Sho’s while they are lying side to side, looking at each other.

“Ah, I know I’m good,” Sho jokes. “Didn’t know I would be THAT good though.”

Jun chuckles. It’s not what he meant, Sho knows that, Jun knows that, still Jun smiles. “You are that good though. Just…” He frowns slightly. “You are not going to write me a message tomorrow and thank me for the wonderful night. Are you?”

“I’m not?” Sho asks in surprise, not able to hold back the disappointed tone in his voice. He wanted to do exactly that. “How about a poem instead?” he asks hopefully.

Jun frowns, and it makes Sho squeal inwardly at how cute he looks. “If you do, I’ll reply with the filthiest message ever.”

Sho’s head perks up. “Really?” he asks interested.

Jun’s frown increases. “Or I won’t reply at all!” he threatens, and turns over to hide underneath the blanket.

Sho grabs the item and tugs at it, half lying on Jun now. “You are going to reply, right?” he insists to know. “Right? Please reply…” he begs, biting into Jun’s earlobe softly.

At one point Jun has to laugh. “You idiot, you haven’t even written it yet!”

“But what will you answer?”

Jun closes his eyes tightly. “Go to sleep, Sho-san.”

Sho frowns, before a thought crosses his mind again. “I think,” he muses, his hand brushing over Jun’s chest, downwards. “I need to mark my territory again~”

Jun’s eyes snap open. “How can you go from cheesy to weird in a few seconds?”

“Oh, I can go a lot more directions,” Sho says in the most seductive voice he is capable of. “Wanna see?”

“Hm,” Jun grins and turns around again. He pecks Sho’s nose. “Show it to me all,” he says, and Sho knows he means a lot more than only sex. His heart makes a happy jump.

In the end they are too tired to do it a fourth time, but Sho keeps Jun’s words in his mind. There is always a tomorrow after all.


A/N: Now that was long :D Whoever made it to the end, thanks so much for reading. I hope you liked it!! <3

Comments

[cielmelodies.livejournal.com]

You wrote this! Omg. I love this so much. It's not dark at all, no, but it defintely touches on the topics of self harm just enough to develop the story and characters well and you wrote about it so beautifully. Ahhhh love it love it love it <3

[lilly0]

Haha, yes it was me :D I tried to make it less dark and more about their feelings, and I'm happy that it seems to work ♥
Thanks so much for your kind comment, and thanks for reading this huge one-shot!

[learashi]

I love, love, love this.
I thought I already commented at the exchange but I must have imagined it.
I adore vulnerable Jun and caring Sho. Plus Ohno and Nino are priceless.
They are so loving and teasing at the end.
*hugs*

[lilly0]

Thanks so much for reading this, my friend! ♥
Hurt&comfort is one of my fav genres, so I was really happy to pick that up for an exchange :D

[koi-choshi.livejournal.com]

I made it to the eeeeend!
How can it be that Sho has a rebel image but spouts the cheesiest lines (I had to cringe sometimes. Or maybe if I were Jun, I would throw shoes at him)? But that makes him endearing.

I'm so glad that whatever happened to Jun in the past was used in a good way when everyone found out about it. And he has become stronger. I'm happy for this character.

Sho-kitchen-fail appearance is always a treat.

Thanks for this!!

[lilly0]

YES! Thank you for managing to read the whole thing. I know it's super-long ^^
Haha, cheesy Sho at his best. I just thought the image of him being a scandalous rapper while actually being all cheesy would be hilarious :D
Thanks so much for reading this!! ♥

[mae74.livejournal.com]

This was so good! I loved how Sho took care of Jun so gently. I want another chapter or epilogue 💜❤️

[lilly0]

Thanks so much for reading this and leaving me such a sweet comment ♥
(I'm sorry for only replying now, I was really sick during the last days)

[little-slick12.livejournal.com]

OMG! My first visit back in months and this is the first thing I click on to read! I love it so so so much! Great job!
Cheesy Sho is my humorous weakness and Jun throwing his shoes is actually quite hilarious!
I just love how you wrote their personalities so well. 10/10 would read a hundred more times lol ^.^

[lilly0]

Thanks so much for your lovely comment, my friend! I hope you are going to be around Lj more again? ♥
Yes, cheesy Sho at his best, right? :D It was really fun to write this fic <3

[yukitsubute]

Oh I liked that ❤

Poor Jun, his past is all a mess, but Sho's there to helo him out, he is so caring and sweet ❤ (and a little dorky) I loved that.

Thanks so much for sharing this story, I really enjoyed reading it. *hugs*

[lilly0]

Thanks so much for your comment, dear! ♥
Yes, Jun's past is a mess, but Sho is there to help him (and be extra-cheesy for him :D)

[acgreon.livejournal.com]

I've reread this so many times over the past week and I still can't get enough of it. First, the prompt is awesome. I just like this idea of fake relationships for some reason and Sho was soooo sweet and patient trying to help out Jun even though yes he was a bit of a dick at the beginning, but I just really love how he lets Jun see he is not who he thought.
And can we talk about vulnerable Jun just being so strong in the end and willing to help others even though he was still scared and insecure.
I really, really, reeeeaaaaaaaaaally love this. <3

[lilly0]

Thanks so much for your kind comment!! *blushes*
I wrote this for an exchange and this promp immediately caught my attention. I thought Sho and Jun pretending to be in a relationship while actually having difficulties with each other would be fun :D