Sound of Silence Chapter 7
May. 14th, 2017 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lilly0 posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
yume_to_amePairing: Sakumoto, guests appearances by the rest of Arashi (maybe with a surprise side-pairing ;-)), and some others
Rating: up to R
Genre: AU, romance, maybe a bit suspense
Plot: It's in the middle of the night when Sho, a wealthy young business man, stumbles over an unconscious young man, beaten up and curled up in a dark alley. Tired from the way his life goes Sho decides to do something good and takes the man home. Once he wakes up however Sho realizes that the young man has forgotten all about his past, everything he is, and has lost his voice too. Everything that remained from his existence is his name: Matsumoto Jun. But who is he? What happened to him? Why was he lying on the street, beaten-up? And what kind of trauma did he encounter to loose his voice?
Note: This is the story that won the poll on my journal ^^ So, I had started writing it before the poll, kind of lost motivation in the middle of it and then with everyone's encouragement I picked it up again, and voilà :D I hope this is going to be really interesting for you! There is some suspense in it, and we'll gradually uncover Jun's past.
Jun eyes his watch nervously. He hasn’t told Sho or Shun that he is going to meet someone, he just said he was going to fetch himself a coffee. Sho apparently doesn’t want him to feel cornered or locked in, so he easily agreed to him going out for an hour. Besides nothing really happened up to now, so, all of them are rather relaxed.
Jun isn’t relaxed though, not because he is afraid that someone is after him, but rather because he is afraid of what Toma might tell him. He said, he looks like a certain Yuki. So, maybe his real name is Yuki? Maybe he is this guy? Or does he have some sort of doppelganger? A twin? He doesn’t know why, but something inside him twitches nervously, and it’s like his feeling tells him that Toma might be able to give him important information.
Before he can worry further he can see Toma’s auburn hair, and soon he is approaching him in the hidden corner Jun chose their table at - in case someone he knows from his new life walks by the café. He isn’t on display that way. “Sorry, I’m late,” Toma grins.
Jun shakes his head. He has prepared his notebook and a pen and scribbles into it immediately. No problem.
Toma looks at him in surprise. “You really can’t talk?”
Jun nods. Sorry.
“Yuki could,” Toma points out.
Jun nods tentatively, deciding not to tell Toma that his loss of voice is from a mental trauma and not physical. Do we really look the same?
“You could be twins,” Toma points out. When the waitress comes, he orders black coffee. “For my skin,” he explains when Jun looks at his beverage sceptically. “It’s better. And they like me with good skin.”
Jun blinks. They?
Toma looks confused for a moment, then he looks to the side, almost embarrassed. “Sorry, I forgot you are not him. I… it’s not important.”
It probably is, but Jun decides he needs to work with what Toma is going to give him on his own. Did you work together?
“You could say that,” Toma says warily.
Were you friends?
“Well,” Toma tilts his head. “I… I’m not sure. Maybe more like brothers in arms. Or colleagues. Something like that. But I knew him since a long time.”
When did he disappear?
“Three months ago,” Toma points out. “I’ve been looking for him everywhere, but couldn’t find him. Then I saw you, and you look like his spitting image, but…”
He looked for him? Didn’t he say they aren’t friends? Why would he be worried for him if they aren’t? But?
“To be honest, I don’t even know what to think,” Toma admits, and all of a sudden he looks nervous and even a bit sad. “You are his spitting image, but you are so different. Yuki was a lot colder, more detached from everything. Stoic almost. He was our number one.”
Number one?
Toma chuckles. “Let’s save that for when we meet again.” He pauses. “If we meet again.”
Jun isn’t so sure about that either, because he doesn’t know if he actually wants to meet Toma again or not. He scares him, and what he knows and is still hiding scares him. But then it seems like he at least can help Jun find answers and-
Toma laughs and throws a tiny ball out of his tissue at Jun’s forehead. “You are dozing off,” he jokes light-heartedly, and with a smile that’s different to what Toma showed him up to now.
Jun closes his eyes, shocked by the sudden flashes of memory that wash over him. He sees himself in a tiny room, cooking. And someone at his side, cutting vegetables. There are voices, they talk, but he can’t quite grasp what they say. And there is the yellow sign again, the one he already saw once.
He forces his eyes to open, and tries to smile. Sorry. I was lost in my thoughts. He hides his hands under the table to not show how much they are shaking. He knows him. He knows Toma. He was the one cutting vegetables.
Which can only mean… He is Yuki. But who the hell is Yuki?
If you want to meet again, it’s okay for me. He offers, because he has to. It’s the only connection to his so-said old life he has.
Toma smiles slightly and nods. There is more Jun wants to ask, but a look at his watch tells him he should head back. Sho will wonder where he is if he stays too long, and to be honest, he has had enough information to take in for one day. When they get up, Jun insists with hand gestures that he is going to pay and Toma’s eyes widen. “Thank you, Jun-san,” he says with a bow. “You are nice. Another thing that’s different between you and Yuki.”
He wasn’t nice? Jun wants to know, and to his surprise he feels his stomach clench slightly. Was he a mean person before?
Toma snorts. “Not really,” he mumbles. “Pretty arrogant dude. We never got along that well.”
It gives another stitch to his stomach. Toma seems to be nice enough, but apparently Yuki, the person Jun was before, was too mean for him to like.
~~~
Jun’s head spins, and something inside him pulls and tugs at him like he ate something wrong. He held it together during his talk with Toma when he remembered a bit of his past, and now he tries to hold it together a bit longer.
When he comes back, Sho sits over some books, studying them thoroughly. He is sometimes working from home, which is nice actually. He looks up now. “Jun-kun,” he says, and much to Jun’s surprise he sounds happy. “You are back.”
Jun nods and tries to return the smile. He hands Sho a cup with hot coffee.
“You brought one for me too,” Sho smiles happily, and sniffs at it. “With marshmallow topping and chocolate,” he chuckles. “You know I like it sweet?”
Of course Jun knows. He knows everything Sho likes, or almost everything. Cooking for him is the only fun thing he is doing at the moment. This and working at Aiba’s bar. Sometimes he is glad that he can’t talk with Sho, because he is sure his voice would have sounded strained today, on the other hand it’s so frustrating not to voice something, and not to say something out directly. He can’t even react. A reaction is supposed to come fast and not five minutes later after he scribbled it down.
“Hey, Jun-kun,” Sho looks up. “I’m going out to get us something to eat okay? Nagase-kun told me about this restaurant around the corner with awesome Italian food. Would you like us to try it?”
Italian? Like pasta? Jun nods, smiling slightly. To be honest, he is relieved to no ends that Sho is going out to get them some food, because it gives him half an hour to recover. When the door falls close behind Sho, Jun finally lets his nerves loose, his body starting to tremble while tears fill his eye.
He is Yuki.
Yuki was a bad person. Toma didn’t like him, although Toma seems to be nice.
He worked in a place with a yellow sign attached to it. A yellow blinking sign.
Jun feels sick all of a sudden. He hurries to the toilet, bending over and throwing up. He does barely register how long he stays there, but eventually he flushes and cleans his mouth before he sits down on the ground, feeling exhausted and strained like he just ran for a whole week.
~~~
Sho bought a pretty huge amount of everything the restaurant had to offer. Pasta and weirdly shaped noodles, with all kind of sauces. 80% of it he can’t even pronounce correctly, and he doesn’t quite understand the ingredients either. Then he bought risotto, some antipasti, and even an original pizza. He went a bit overboard, but he is sure they will manage to eat most of it, and if not they can have the rest of it tomorrow.
When he comes into the apartment, he knows immediately that something is off. There is no proof, just a chair that got tilted over. But something feels wrong. “Jun?” he calls out, rolling his eyes at himself because he knows Jun can’t answer.
He puts the food on the table and hurries through the apartment. The living room is empty, the bedroom too, also Jun’s bedroom which he hardly uses anymore is empty. “Jun!?”
The kitchen… empty. Sho’s heart races. Did Jun disappear? Just went away silently? Disappear in the same mysterious way he appeared. He keeps calling his name, but Jun doesn’t appear.
Sho is about to grab his phone and panic-call Ohno or Aiba or Nino or anyone, when he sees light coming through the bathroom. He puts the phone aside and carefully opens the door, eyes widening when he sees Jun’s hunched over figure, leaning against the wall.
“Jun?” he asks in shock. “Is everything alright?”
Jun doesn’t answer, but his body seems to shake. He has buried his head in his knees and doesn’t even seem to hear Sho calling his name. Sho gets down on his knees and robs closer to Jun, until he is next to him. “Jun,” he says softly, touching his shoulder. Jun looks up shortly, eyes red from crying. “What happened?” Sho asks softly.
He just shakes his head and turns away. When Sho tries to force the notebook on him to make him answer him, Jun successfully ignores him. He puts it aside, and wraps his arm around Jun’s shoulder to pull him closer, relieved that Jun leans into his hug. “Tell me what happened,” he says softly. “Please.”
When there is no reaction, Sho sighs slightly, wondering how he should make him listen when a sudden idea strikes him. He takes Jun’s hand into is, opening it and turning it so that he looks at his palm. He slowly moves his finger over it. Don’t cry.
Jun looks up in surprise.
Don’t give up. Sho continues to write on Jun’s palm with his finger. Talk to me.
Jun’s lips quiver but to Sho’s relief he takes Sho’s hand now, and moves his finger over the skin. Sho concentrates to understand what he writes. I’m afraid of who I am.
“You found something about yourself today?” Sho asks softly.
Jun nods.
“You are scared of it?”
Again a nod.
Jun takes his notebook now. I can’t remember much, just glimpses. But it’s so… I don’t know. I don’t even know if I want to remember. What if I was a bad person? Something is fishy, Sho-san. I know it. You know it.
Yes, Sho thinks, they both know it. He takes the pen from Jun’s hand and scribbles in his notebook. Something inside him tells him that leading this conversation without spoken words will make Jun feel more comfortable, will give him a better feeling of closeness and trust. What if I don’t mind?
Jun looks at him doubtfully.
Sho smiles. You are here, and you are you. Even if you were a bad person before, you are good now. It doesn’t change who you are now. But you won’t be able to move forward when you try to block your past.
Jun blinks. You think I can’t remember because I don’t want to?
Sho nods. Subconsciously. I asked Nino if it’s possible, he said yes.
Jun tilts his head, obviously trying to digest the information. I’m scared that you will send me away once we find out the truth.
Sho smiles and wraps his arms around Jun again, pulling him closer until Jun’s back rests against his chest. He takes Jun’s hand, pulling it back and placing a kiss on it. Then he moves his fingers over Jun’s palm. I’m not going to send you away. I want you to stay.
Jun turns his head to look back at Sho, and when Sho nods reassuringly, he smiles slightly. “Don’t be afraid,” Sho mumbles into Jun’s hair. “I’ll be there for you.”
~~~
“The old man needs more clothes.” With this announcement Aiba has basically raved Sho’s apartment and grabbed Jun’s arm. “You need to help,” he adds, staring up at Jun with huge puppy eyes.
Shopping? Jun scribbles. And who is the old man?
Aiba grins. “My boyfriend,” he explains randomly. “He can’t even buy proper socks on his own.” Jun can’t help a giggle. So, Ohno is helpless when it’s about shopping.
“Wait a moment,” Sho interrupts Aiba’s chatting. “Isn’t it a bit dangerous to go out for so long?”
Jun sighs slightly. He knows Sho is right. It’s okay to go out for a swift coffee or go to the bar for work, or even go with Sho to one of the restaurants around the corner. But a shopping spree actually means visiting lots of shops, for hours.
Aiba smiles. “I will watch out for us.”
Sho frowns. Obviously Aiba’s promise didn’t relieve his worries. To Jun’s utmost relief and surprise though another figure appears. “Excuse me,” Shun says with a smile. “I’m here to act as Jun-san’s bodyguard anyway. I could accompany them.”
Sho looks at Shun first, then at Aiba’s expectant look. Jun himself tries not to put too much pressure on him, although he wants to go, but he has learned to understand Sho’s worries, because they are his own. “Okay,” Sho chuckles. “But please be careful, and keep me updated, and…” he pauses, blushing slightly. “Just write me a message here and there, so that I’ll know you are alright, okay Jun?”
Jun nods happily, and when the others are busy with putting on their shoes he grabs Sho’s hand and squeezes it. “I know,” Sho smiles softly. “You’ll be careful. I trust you. I’m just a worrisome busybody.”
Jun chuckles and swiftly writes into his notebook. I like you that way. You are sweet when you worry about me. I think in my previous life no one really did.
Sho blushes slightly and nods. “Just have fun, you cute idiot” he says with a hoarse voice.
They actually have fun, much to Jun’s surprise. He originally was just happy to be able to go out for a bit, like a totally normal person, like he hadn’t lost his memory and wasn’t haunted by weird dreams and by his awful former self. It’s not like the time when he wanted to do something, to be useful, and he was upset when Sho was against him working at Aiba’s bar first. This here is different. For a few hours he can pretend to be normal.
“Do you think this would suit Oh-chan?” Aiba asks with a frown while he holds up a blue shirt.
Jun nods, but points at the same shirt in a lighter blue. Aiba grins. “Yep, that one is better. Don’t you think so too, Shun-san?”
Shun yawns slightly, but nods. He is holding up surprisingly well, and he is patient.
This is not your type of thing, right? Jun asks via his phone.
Shun chuckles. “Not really. You know, I rather enjoy doing some sport or cooking.”
You like cooking? Jun asks in surprise.
“Yes,” Shun smiles. “My favourite dish is pasta.”
Mine too!
“Is that so?” he grins brightly. “I also like lasagne. What else do you like? Aside from shopping?”
Jun chuckles. I like things that have something to do with the house. You know, like keeping things clean and buying home supplies, and decoration, and making things pretty, and so.
Shun raises his eyebrows. “I like interior stuff too. It’s the only kind of shopping I like. Recently I am totally into handcraft too. You can make awesome stuff with DIY videos on YouTube.”
Really? Jun’s interest is awakened immediately. He could do something nice for Sho’s apartment.
His interest must have shown because Shun smiles. “I can send you some links, if you want to.”
Jun nods eagerly. He wants to ask more because it’s just amazing how similar he and Shun seem to be. Almost like they could be friends. It makes Jun feel almost good, because it means he can find a friend on his own too, not only rely on Sho’s friends. Before he can continue his conversation with Shun Aiba demands his assistance again, and Jun hurries to his help. The next discussion that’s going on between them is about how Ohno would look in red pants.
They are running around since hours already, but Aiba doesn’t seem to get tired easily, and Jun doesn’t mind. He meanwhile makes tons of photos and sends them to Sho whenever the others aren’t watching, smiling happily whenever he gets an answer.
Sho is so kind. And whenever Jun thinks of him his heart beats faster. They shared this moment in the bathroom, and today when they held hands. Is it really okay to hope?
Jun doesn’t have much time to think though because Nino joins them now, not for shopping but for a late lunch.
“You finished your shopping tour, didn’t you?” Nino asks with a grin. “Because the last thing I want is to go power-shopping with you guys.”
Jun chuckles and types on his phone. We are finished.
“Awesome,” Nino sighs in relief. “Food?”
Jun nods, while Aiba claps his hands. “Any good restaurants around?”
“I know one,” Shun intervenes all of a sudden. “It’s right around the corner and not one of these crowded fast food mall restaurants. It’s a hot pot restaurant. But you can get rice dishes there too.”
“Sounds good,” Nino muses. “What do you think Jun?”
Jun nods. It really does sound good.
The restaurant Shun leads them to is indeed a small, hidden, but beautiful hot pot restaurant. Aiba sighs contently when he receives his bowl with tons of vegetables and fish.
Nino seems to be happy. “I know this place too. Good choice, Shun-san. It’s also one of my favourite places.”
Jun orders a hot pot with vegetables and shrimps. Shun and Nino the one with pork. Jun doesn’t participate much in their talk because obviously he can’t, but he enjoys listening to Shun’s and Aiba’s chatting. Meanwhile he sips on his soup, and watches his surroundings and friends. It comes so suddenly that he has a hard time covering it up. He doesn’t know what triggered it, but suddenly he sees flashes of himself, sitting in exactly this restaurant, a dark-haired guy next to him, talking to the waiter. Unfortunately he can’t see his face. Jun gulps. He knows this place. Then there are pictures hunting him again, from the person he seemed to have a sexual relationship with. Can it be… Jun shifts his glance towards Nino and Shun. It’s just… from behind it’s really hard to tell, but he has a feeling… and he knows it doesn’t betray him. It’s his memory poking him. Does he know one of these guys from his former life?
A/N: So, what do we think about Toma? Good - bad - shady? And it seems Jun remembers more and more, but maybe Sho is right, and his memory is blocked because he is afraid to remember.
By the way, the scene in which Sho wrote on Jun's palm was the first one I had in my mind before I even started writing this. :-)
And... tadaaaa.... Jun's memory got triggered again, by either Shun or Nino it seems
no subject
Date: 2017-05-14 09:19 pm (UTC)Sho writing on Jun's hand is such a beautiful scene. I love the creative ways you are coming up with to help them communicate.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:00 pm (UTC)I'm so happy you liked the scene. It was the first one I had in mind I started to write this story <3 It's really a challenge to write how they communicate with each other without using words.
Thanks so much for your comment, my friend! ♥
no subject
Date: 2017-05-14 10:12 pm (UTC)I really love ShoJun sweet moment. It's lovely and warm. Not so rush, and seems so gentle. I really like this kind of love life
no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:01 pm (UTC)I'm so happy you like the moments between Sho and Jun. They needed a while to get so close to each other, but their feelings for each other are strong.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment!! ♥
no subject
Date: 2017-05-15 10:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:02 pm (UTC)I'm happy you like this <3
no subject
Date: 2017-05-15 03:21 pm (UTC)As for Nino and Shun... I'm suspecting both of them, LOL!
Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!
Thanks for the update!
no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:03 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for your lovely comment! ♥
(No matter how hard I try though the way you write suspsense and angst is on a different league <3)
no subject
Date: 2017-05-15 05:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:04 pm (UTC)I hope this story will stay exciting :D
no subject
Date: 2017-05-19 07:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:05 pm (UTC)Sho and Jun really came a long way, right? Their love story was super-slow, but we are getting closer to it now :-)
Thanks so much for reading and commenting!! ♥
no subject
Date: 2017-05-20 03:00 pm (UTC)I really like the scene where Sho wrote on Jun's palm, it's really romantic actually XD
Jun's memory is coming back little by little and lastly where either Nino or Shun triggered something in him but are they really? Or someone similar to either of them? Ehhh the suspense is killing me...
no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:07 pm (UTC)You are right, it seems like Jun had a sad life before - not remembering anything might just be like an option for him to start over (but I guess he knows that his past might come back hunting him)
I'm so happy you liked the scene between Sho and Jun <3 It was the first one I had in mind when I started writing this multi!
You are right, it could either be Nino or Shun or simply the surroundings...
Thanks so much for your lovely comment! ♥
no subject
Date: 2017-05-22 01:10 pm (UTC)Jun's memory hopefully will not haunt him or something
I saw that you've updated the new chapter, so I'm going to read it now ^^
no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 11:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-05-21 05:07 pm (UTC)Well, at the moment it seems like it's either Nino or Shun, but who knows? ;-)
no subject
Date: 2017-05-27 07:04 pm (UTC)so... Jun's existence was not so far from Sho's life.... Sho found him, he might have known Nino's hospital, Toma found him, he knew the hot pot place, and maybe he is acquaintance to Nino or Shun... everything is getting too closer.
I am really loving this thriller!!!
no subject
Date: 2017-06-04 05:29 pm (UTC)Yeah, Jun's past really seems like nothing good, right? Just imagine if Sho didn't find him...><
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! ♥