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yume_to_ame2017-05-28 08:17 pm
Sound of Silence Chapter 9
Pairing: Sakumoto, guests appearances by the rest of Arashi (maybe with a surprise side-pairing ;-)), and some others
Rating: up to R
Genre: AU, romance, maybe a bit suspense
Plot: It's in the middle of the night when Sho, a wealthy young business man, stumbles over an unconscious young man, beaten up and curled up in a dark alley. Tired from the way his life goes Sho decides to do something good and takes the man home. Once he wakes up however Sho realizes that the young man has forgotten all about his past, everything he is, and has lost his voice too. Everything that remained from his existence is his name: Matsumoto Jun. But who is he? What happened to him? Why was he lying on the street, beaten-up? And what kind of trauma did he encounter to loose his voice?
Note: This is the story that won the poll on my journal ^^ So, I had started writing it before the poll, kind of lost motivation in the middle of it and then with everyone's encouragement I picked it up again, and voilà :D I hope this is going to be really interesting for you! There is some suspense in it, and we'll gradually uncover Jun's past.
Jun is eternally thankful that Sho is not at home. It gives him the room he needs. He lies on the carpet on the floor, eyes wide-opened. He doesn’t really look at something, just at the pictures in front of his inner eye, while his memory comes back step by step. He knows where the yellow sign is from. He remembers Toma. He remembers his work and who he was. There are still parts missing, but it seems a lot of it is there again. And to be honest, he doesn’t even feel anything, it’s just… empty.
He hears a knock against the entrance door. “Jun-kun,” Nino’s voice comes from outside. “I know you are inside. Please let us talk.”
Jun doesn’t know how he should react or what he should do now. He can’t even answer Nino, because how? He still hasn’t got his voice back.
“I did it because I wanted you to remember,” Nino says quietly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assault you or anything. I just figured that a surprise attack might trigger your memory.”
Jun sits up a bit, scribbling something down on a paper before pushing it through the gap in the door. We really don’t know each other, do we?
The answer comes back swiftly, written on the paper as well. No. I have never seen you before.
Then… why…
“I just had a feeling,” Nino admits from the other side. “I had a feeling about who or what you are. I’m not judging you Jun, I just wanted you to get your memory back. I’m sorry. Please believe me.”
It sounds genuine. Jun sighs. Nino helped him out a lot previously, he can’t just leave him outside. So he opens the door, letting him in. The expression of utmost relief on Nino’s face actually shows him it was a good decision to do so. He sits down on the floor again, this time leaning against the wall. Nino kneels in front of him, pulling him into a hug. “It doesn’t change who you are,” he says softly. “You need to accept it about yourself.”
To be honest, Jun had known it all the way. He had a feeling. Meeting Toma made this feeling stronger. He just wished he was wrong.
“I’m going to make you some tea,” Nino says, while he pulls Jun up by his arm and pushes him towards the sofa.
Jun’s mind seems to work on its own right now, he can’t stop the images from flooding him and for forcing their way into his mind. So it’s Shun, he realizes when he sees himself lying in the arms of said man, who is making love to him. It’s Shun, not Nino. He also sees himself waking up next to Toma sometimes, and to his surprise the knowledge of Toma hating him hurts him all of a sudden. It hurts him as Yuki’s memories are slowly back, and Yuki always considered Toma as a friend.
Nino tries to make him feel better. Makes him tea, cooks something, all the while talking to him. How should I ever tell Sho-san? Jun finally dares to ask Nino via his notes.
“Jun-kun,” Nino says earnestly, squeezing his arm. “Sho will not judge you. Sho wants you to be happy. When you finally remember, you can meet him eye to eye, and tell him what you want from him. Because you love him, don’t you?”
Jun nods.
“And the person you were before loves him too?”
Again a nod.
Nino smiles. “Because you are the same person. You weren’t bad before. You didn’t choose your life on your own, did you?”
Jun shakes his head. He was sold and kept like a prisoner. There was no place for free decisions.
“Work with Oh-chan,” Nino continues. “He is good. And working with art might help you to get over it and accept it.”
You heard us, didn’t you?
Nino nods. “I didn’t want to spy on you or anything. I was actually looking for the both of you and heard you talking in the bar. As a doctor it was a dangerous thing to make a move on you, to be honest.”
Why did you do it then?
Nino sighs deeply. “You are a friend, and I wanted you to be able to remember.”
Something about these words make Jun happy and sad at the same time. He wonders if it’s really okay to move on just like nothing ever happened in his past.
There are many things Jun remembers from his old life now, and one of it particularly doesn’t leave his mind: No one does something for free. He hasn’t paid back Sho anything up to now. He should though. Because no one is kind just for the sake of being kind. Sho probably expects him to do something too.
Maybe he should do what he can do best?
~~~
Sho feels drained when he comes home. The meeting took forever, and he is bone-tired now. He just wishes to shower and drop into his bed. If he can talk a bit with Jun while he does so, it might be a bonus.
Jun is acting weird recently though. He has noticed that something has to be off, and something inside him tells him that Jun might actually remember certain things of his life. Sho just wishes he would trust him enough to come out to him and tell him what bothers him. He is not going to judge him, he has basically sworn to himself he won’t - and secretly he has played with tons of worst case scenarios of Jun’s former life already, so he feels he is ready for any revelation.
Jun is nowhere in the living room, apparently he went to bed already. Well, obviously, it’s 4AM. Sho takes his time in the shower, trying to wash the tiredness and the tension of a long day at work away. He really feels refreshed when he steps out of the shower, wraps his body in a bathrobe and walks to his room.
There is dim light coming from under the door. Sho blinks in confusion. So, Jun is still up? “Jun?”
When he opens the door carefully, he almost drops out of the room again. He drops the towel he is drying his hair with, ignoring it completely for now. Jun is sitting on his bed, his white skin looking even paler in the moonlight, he is split naked, his eyes shining dark and seductively, while he reaches out his hands. He looks like a Greek figurine.
Sho can’t help but step closer, too surprised to actually react. When he sits down at the edge of the bed, he can feel Jun’s hands wrapping around his body. Soft lips suddenly roam his neck, and damn it feels so good. Jun skilfully turns his head so that he has to look at him, before surging forward to kiss him. It’s just the right amount of hungry and soft, and it sends a firework through Sho’s body. It’s so alluring and it feels so good to have Jun so close that Sho has a hard time to focus.
But then he does, carefully pushing Jun away, holding his shoulders to look at him. “Jun,” he says softly. “What are you doing?”
Jun smiles, taking his notebook again. Isn’t it obvious. I want you.
“No you don’t,” Sho says firmly.
I do.
Jun bends forward again, biting into Sho’s earlobe softly and kissing his shoulder. This time though Sho’s senses are on alert and his mind awake. He grabs Jun’s face to pull him back again. “Jun,” he says earnestly. “Your hands feel ice-cold, and your lips are quivering. You don’t want this.”
Jun looks angry all of a sudden, and Sho isn’t sure if he understands exactly where his anger comes from. Jun gets up all of a sudden, eyebrows furrowed, scribbling something on a note while he does so.
He basically throws it at Sho.
It’s because of your ex-boyfriend, isn’t it!? The others told me you had someone at your side and I heard one of them say once that we resemble each other!! Who are you even kidding?
Sho is surprised by that sudden non-vocal outburst. It’s still pretty clear that it is an outburst though as Jun’s handwriting is messy and his eyes are dark. He grabs a pair of pyjama trousers and swiftly puts it on.
“Jun,” Sho says earnestly, getting up to. “You are not a placeholder. What are you even thinking?” he grabs Jun’s arm but gets pushed away immediately. Something about the way Jun ignores him pisses him off, because he knows even without a voice Jun always communicated well with him.
He follows Jun to the living room and grabs Jun’s arm with more strength now, turning him around. “Jun, I know you have been meeting someone!” he huffs, sounding angrier than he intended too. “And I know you remember parts of your past. Who are you even kidding!?”
Jun takes another note out of his pocked. You spied on me!?
Sho frowned deeply. “Are you nuts!?” he answers harshly. “I didn’t. I trusted you, you were the one meeting someone secretly. Shun-san told me.”
Jun basically throws the last note into his face. Awesome! So, if it’s Shun, I assume everything is safe!
Sho blinks in confusion. What’s that supposed to mean now? He wants to ask Jun about it, but Jun is faster, hurrying into the elevator and closing the door. Sho sighs. Jun is only in his pyjama pants and barefoot. Where does he even want to go?
For a moment Sho stays at the same place, trying to gather his thoughts. Did it really bother Jun so much that someone said he resembled Sho’s former love? Does he really think he is a placeholder? And why didn’t he tell Sho that he met someone, probably from his past life? It’s dangerous and it could be a trap…
“Damn,” Sho mumbles. That escalated quickly.
Jun probably was desperate to remember. He presses the button of the elevator, swiftly switching into a pair of trousers and a shirt, and putting on his shoes until the elevator is at his floor again. When he drives down, his heart pounds against his chest nervously. What if… Jun is so impulsive, hopefully he didn’t run off somewhere! He hopes that Jun isn’t doing something reckless or stupid. It’s cold outside, and he is basically naked. Oh, please, don’t let him run.
To Sho’s surprise and downright relief though Jun is sitting right on the ground, next to the elevator, shivering slightly in the cold. Sho’s eyes widen in horror. “You need to get out of the cold immediately,” he says softly, grabbing Jun’s arm and pulling him up. When he sees Jun’s sad expression, he finally figures that he unintentionally might have hurt him when he pushed him away in the bedroom. It wasn’t his intention though and he mentally slaps himself for not considering it earlier. He hugs him softly. “It’s alright, Jun, let’s go back home, okay?”
Jun doesn’t fight him when he tugs him into the elevator and they drive back up. His skin feels cold though, obviously because he waited forever for Sho to come home, naked, and because he spent some time in the cold garage.
Sho lets warm water into the bathtub and some flower-scented bathing oil before he helps Jun inside. Jun looks at him both expectantly and shyly. Sho chuckles. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll join you.”
He steps into the tub, settling right behind of Jun and pulling him into a hug from behind. The water feels warm and Jun’s skin warms up too. “I’m glad you didn’t run. I was scared and worried you would. We need a second elevator.”
Jun has placed his notebook at the edge of the bathtub, he probably got used to carrying it with him, always. I realised that I had nowhere to go.
It feels sad. Although Sho can’t hear Jun’s voice, and can’t see his expression, his written words sound sad. He hugs him tighter. “Jun,” he says softly. “I would be happy if you considered this your home. And you don’t need to sell your body to me to stay with me. I’m happy to have you around.”
Jun’s head basically snaps to the side to look at him, eyes widened in horror.
“That’s the truth, isn’t it?” Sho carefully pushes the topic, not sure how far he can go. “I had a feeling that you were under the red-light mafia.”
Jun sighs, eyeing his notebook warily. I met someone who knew the old me. Apparently I worked under another name. He doesn’t know that we are the same person. I didn’t want to lie, but I was scared of what I would find out.
“I know,” Sho says warily. “Just, please, next time tell me. I promise you I’ll try to be understanding, but meeting someone in secret might be dangerous for you. For all of us actually.”
Jun looks back again, his expression miserable while tears are shimmering inside his eyes. I sold my body. I worked as a prostitute.
“No wonder you were afraid of your memory. It had to be a scary life you had” Sho says quietly. “I’m sorry.”
Jun’s eyes widen in surprise, and to Sho’s horror he suddenly bursts into tears. “Did I say something wrong?” he stutters, pulling Jun into a hug again. “I don’t judge you, I know you probably went through a lot. You were there since you are a child, weren’t you? I didn’t mean to say something that would hurt you.”
Jun shakes his head. You are just perfect.
Sho snorts in amusement. “Yeah, right.”
Jun rolls his eyes, and turns back, leaning against Sho’s chest.
“You know, Jun,” Sho says after a while, wary how to explain everything. “About what you said earlier. About my ex-boyfriend. His name was Shino. I coincidentally met him on a rooftop of a skyscraper. I was there to get some fresh air. He wanted to commit suicide. I managed to stop him from it, and we somehow got friends, and well, at one point we also had a sexual relationship. He never let me really in though. We were something like lovers, and he meant a lot to me, although I wasn’t madly in love. At one point he left me and went back to his old life. Now he lives in Honk Kong, I think, working for the black market there.” He pauses. “You are not a replacement for him. I don’t need one. What the others meant is that the way I stumbled over you dramatically is similar to how I met Shino. I don’t think he really hated who he was and what he was. He couldn’t let go of his old life, and he didn’t want to. He just needed a timeout, and I was his personal break. You however want to get away from your past life so badly, you didn’t choose it yourself, and you want to be free. My friends hardly interacted with him, while they do with you. Aiba-chan would have never hired him for the bar. Nino would have never treated him in hospital. Oh-chan would have never wanted to work together with him. Do you see the difference?”
Jun doesn’t react for a while, then he nods carefully. I don’t want to ever leave you.
Sho smiles. “Then don’t. I don’t want you to leave either.”
Jun takes Sho’s hand into is, turning it so that he eyes his palm. Sho smiles when he can feel Jun’s finger, writing a few words. I’m sorry for earlier.
Sho smiles, placing a kiss on Jun’s palm before writing something himself. Me too.
~~~
Sho wraps Jun into a towel and picks him up. Jun laughs and smacks him while he does so, but although wavering dangerously and sometimes bumping into something – making Jun giggle – they reach the bedroom.
“I want you to want it,” Sho says earnestly when he puts Jun down on the bed. “I don’t want you to sell yourself to me, because it would really hurt me if you did.”
Jun shakes his head and takes his hand, moving it to his heart. Sho feels how it’s hammering against his chest. He smiles brightly. “I really am in love with you Jun, you know that, don’t you?”
Jun’s eyes light up. He pats his chest, while his lips form a silent I love you too.
Sho lets out a relieved sigh, crawling towards Jun until he straddles his hips. “I don’t want to hurt you. If I do something you don’t like, you won’t be able to tell me. I’m a bit scared.”
Jun shakes his head, taking his notebook again. You are not going to hurt me.
“But,” Sho bites down on his lips. “What if I do something you don’t like? And I don’t realize because you can’t tell me?”
Jun grabs his face and pulls him into a kiss, before scribbling again. You don’t need my voice to know. I trust you.
There is no doubt in Jun’s eyes. It seems now that he was finally able to admit his past to Sho a huge rock fell from him, and it finally made it possible for him to open up to Sho completely. Sho takes a long time with kissing Jun, feeling the texture of his skin, the muscles of his body, happy when he feels them flexing under his touches. Jun pants heavily, moaning when Sho teases his nipples, biting and sucking at them. “You know, on a second thought,” Sho rests his chin on Jun’s chest, blinking up to him innocently. “It’s kind of hot that you can’t tell me to finally fuck you. You look so desperate.”
Jun blushes and dabs his cheek lightly. Sho laughs. “Okay, I understand.” He presses another kiss on Jun’s stomach, before he finally moves downwards, taking Jun’s hard dick into one hand, stroking it lazily, while he opens the bottle with lube skilfully with his free hand, spreading a generous amount on his fingers to prepare Jun thoroughly. He takes his time to prepare Jun, not wanting to rush things. As Jun can’t talk to him, he instead listens to the signs his body is giving him, the way his chest heaves, and his breathing goes faster, his moans. When Jun’s eyes are obviously clouded with want, Sho decides he is ready. Removing his fingers, he settles between Jun’s legs, pulling a condom over his own painfully hard cock. “Is it okay,” he asks softly.
Instead of a nod Jun reaches out his hands, wrapping them around Sho’s neck and pulling him down. He wraps his legs around Sho’s hips, forcing him to enter him not half as careful as he intended. He moans at the sudden tightness around him, feeling how Jun arches his back, his head dropping to the side. Once adjusted Jun is back to kissing him hungrily though, his hand wandering down to his dick while Sho starts snapping his hips forward. Jun tightens his grip of his legs, signalling Sho to go faster. “I’m going to hurt you,” Sho tries to complain as long as his mind is still working. “I-“
Jun shuts him up by covering his mouth with his lips, kissing him heatedly.
Fuck it, he is so hot.
Sho finally gives in, deciding he can trust the signals Jun is giving him. He smacks Jun’s hand away softly, stroking his dick instead while snapping his hips forward in fast and strong movements. They are both panting heavily, the sound of their moans and skin slapping skin resounding in the room. Jun closes his eyes, his dick pulsating in Sho’s hands, body arching, and with a few more tugs, he comes all over Sho’s hands.
Sho immediately grabs his hips, pulling him closer against him and pushing into him roughly, seeking his own release. He feels Jun stroking his chest and back, lips roaming his neck. When Jun clenches his muscles around Sho’s dick, he feels the tension in his stomach piling up, before being released all of a sudden. The sight in front of him gets white when he finally hits his own orgasm.
He drops down on top of Jun, feeling his warm arms around him. When he has come down from his high, he carefully pulls out of Jun, getting rid of his condom, and dropping down next to the younger man. He pulls him into his arms. “This was wonderful,” he chuckles. “Let’s repeat it soon.”
Jun smiles brightly, kissing Sho’s chest, then he nods.
~~~
The next morning Sho swears he is going to make them clean themselves up right after they had sex next time. They are sticky and sore. But showering together with their senses awake is nice too, he thinks, when Jun gets down on his knees and sucks him off, teasing him so long until Sho can’t hold back and takes him another time.
Jun smirks when they are finished. He reaches out his palm and lets two finger of his other hand dance over it.
“Yes,” Sho chuckles. “You have me in your palm.”
Jun smiles and pulls him into a hug, kissing him hungrily. Sho can’t ignore that he is limping slightly though and wincing when he moves too fast while they prepare their breakfast. Sho kisses the back of Jun’s head. “Definitely taking a break for today,” he says firmly.
Jun blinks slightly, apparently not sure what he means, but it doesn’t matter. He would argue him if he did know.
When they settle in for their late brunch, Jun scribbles something into his book. I talked with Nino. I’m letting myself get tested next week. I never did it without a condom anyway, but to be safe. And if everything goes alright, we can do it without.
Sho’s eyes light up. He knows what Jun is actually saying with this. It’s a commitment. You don’t go to that length and through that hassle just for anyone. “Then I’ll do the same,” he says. “So you can feel safe too.”
Jun’s eyes light up happily.
~~~
Jun still feels chipper when it’s afternoon and Sho is working a bit for his next project. He cooks meanwhile, wanting to make a nice dinner for them. He promised Sho his favourite soba dish.
He pats Sho’s shoulder. I’m going shopping.
Sho nods with a smile. “Be careful, dear.”
Jun nods.
He doesn’t need long in the supermarket, as he knows exactly what he needs to buy. It’s when he leaves the supermarket with his huge bag that he suddenly feels his phone vibrating. It’s a message from Toma.
Jun-san, you need to meet me at the corner of Takahashi street and the park. It’s an emergency. Please, I need you!
Jun blinks at the message in surprise. It sounds like Toma is in real panic. He nods to himself, the place isn’t too far away anyways, he can just go there. Before he can reach it though, he remembers his and Sho’s talk from yesterday, about not going anywhere without telling him. So, he swiftly types a message to him, before he hurries to said place.
Once he reaches it, he looks around in confusion. Toma is nowhere to be seen. Did he mix up the places? He is about to take his phone and give the other man a call, when he feels something hard hitting his head, before the sight in front of him goes black.
A/N: OmG, a lot happened, right? First we have Nino's reasons for kissing Jun. Jun remembers. And then... Shun...
Sho and Jun fight, make up, and finally get closer. And now someone attacked Jun?
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Who hit him? It's so cruel!
I like Sho here, he seems know everything but he still calm. I like it so much!
So it's Shun who was in Jun's past...is he bad? Or not?
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Sho really knows how to handle Jun, doesn't he? He loves him al ot ^^
Thanks so much for your lovely comment!! ♥
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I'm glad that they finally got together, but it was a heartbreaking moment when Jun thought that he had to sell himself to Sho like that.
And now Jun is obviously in trouble.
Too much to take in...I need a lie down before the next chapter.
*hugs*
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Jun has learned most of his life that his worth is estimated by how well he sells. And that sex is the only gadget he has to sell... :-( But Sho handled it well in the end, didn't he? <3
Thanks so much for your lovely comment, my friend *huggles*
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As for nino i am actually relieved that he got nothing to do with jun's past.
Anddd most of all i'm very happy that they finally did it that they finally realised their feeling toward each other.
Going to wait for next chapter. Hehe. Thank you for writing.
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Jun really seems to be in trouble now, doesn't he? :-( But at least Sho and Jun finally admitted to their feelings.
Thanks so much for your lovely comment!! ♥
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Nino strategy does work lol. So, it's Shun. I was wrong though, I thought it would be neither of them and Jun mind just played a trick. I wonder Shun already knows that Jun gains his memory back since he doesn't make an appearance here. Hope he is not on a bad side. And the fight and love scene is so sweet. Sho is so understanding and so honest. I love when Jun uses Sho hand instead of his notebook XD. Then, the cut! I feel something might happen since Jun has to go to a supermarket.
*Breathe* ahh~ a bit calm down now. I'll patiently waiting for the next one. Thank you for the update :)
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Nino indeed just wanted to help, though his move might have not been the best, but... it helped it seems?
Jun and Sho finally were honest to each other, all thanks to Sho is patient approach although they argued.
Thanks so much for your sweet comment!! ♥♥
no subject
So many twiiiiists!!!
Happy that they got together but... the end!!!! :O :O :O
Can't wait for the next one!
Thanks for this update :D
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The end seems to be indeed worrying...
Thanks so mcuh for reading and commenting, my friend! ♥
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You are right, the ending seems to be worrying though...
Thanks sooooo much for your support!! ♥
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I hope Sho is goung to find him :o
Their love making was really sweet. ❤
Thanks for sharing this update. 💜❤
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting, dear!! ♥
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Sorry for the cliffhanger ><
Thanks so much for your lovely comment! ♥
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting, dear! ♥
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no subject
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! ♥