(no subject)

[lilly0]

Title: Imbalance 15: Lower
Pairing: Sakumoto, Juntoshi
Rating: R
Genre: romance, somewhat angsty?
Plot: It's always been okay for him to be the person in a relationship who loves more.
Note: This is akhikaru 's fault, and also learashi , with their prompt tables and awesome drabble series <3  I've decided to treat this like a challenge. I'm using a prompt-table from lj, and will write these drabbles as they come to my mind, withoug planning anything in advance. It's going to be one story in the end, but the drabbles won't be posted in the correct timeline


01: Lively, 07: Cut, 13: Voice, 10:  Hush, 11 Morals, 08 Compromise, 15 Lower, 04 Heavy, 05 Forward, 06 Prowl, 12 Engage, 02 Remorseful, 03 Dismiss, 09 Impulse, 14 Awkward,

 

Nino fusses over him like crazy. He took off from work for two weeks, it’s possible because he works with his old friend Toma, and can rely on his understanding. He is basically at Jun’s hospital bed every day.

 

“It’s the second time you are lying in this bed,” Nino says after three days. “The second one, J. You cannot proceed like this.” He kneels down next to Jun’s bed. It’s lunch and Jun has a plate with squished potatoes and vegetables in front of him. He doesn’t mind how it tastes. Food has lost its taste for him since a long while already. “Please,” Nino has tears in his eyes. “Please, Jun, don’t leave me. I have no one aside of you. You are my only family, my only real friend.”

 

Jun swallows hard, both on a chunk of broccoli and Nino’s words. “You are my only family too,” he whispers.

 

Nino takes his hand, turning it so that Jun’s forearm is revealed. He is not covering it with a long sleeve now or with bracelets, because there are tiny tubes and injections going into his arms. “Even if they saved you this time… You are still killing yourself, Jun, slowly and constantly with each day.”

 

“I promise, I won’t do it again! I was just so…” Jun’s voice trails off, wondering what he should say now. He has run out of explanations. “No,” he mumbles. “I have no excuses anymore.”

 

“Everyday you avoid this, everyday you are avoiding to acknowledge this problem, you are going to kill yourself further.” Nino snuggles against Jun’s neck. “J, where do you see yourself in the future?”

 

Jun’s eyes burns all of a sudden. “Nowhere,” he says with a shaky voice. “I don’t even know if I still have a future.”

 

“Don’t you want one?” Nino asks, eyes looking at Jun beggingly. “Don’t you want to continue hanging out with me? Cooking weird cakes? Go shopping? Argue with me about which movie to watch?”

 

“I want to,” Jun admits. “I just don’t know…”

 

“What to do?” Nino asks.

 

Jun nods.

 

Their talk gets interrupted by a nurse entering the room and shewing Nino out of it while checking on Jun. It’s Satomi, she is his favourite of all. She is very beautiful, very friendly and also very pregnant. “You are expecting a baby, right?” Jun asks curiously.

 

“Yes,” she smiles warmly at him. “In five months it will be there.”

 

“You are going to be good mother,” he states.

 

She chuckles. “Why do you think that?”

 

“You are like my mother was,” Jun points out. “She was a kind woman, and so caring. She was a nurse too.”

 

Satomi smiles brightly. “Really? And your father?”

 

Jun blinks, something inside him clenching at that question. “Do you still have the brochure you wanted to give me yesterday?”

 

Satomi looks at him in surprise. “Matsumoto-san, does that mean…”

 

He cannot fall lower than he already did, because if he does, he will probably end up dead. There is nothing else beneath him anymore than this thin thread that still connects him to life. To Nino. To the memory of his mother.

 

“I want to submit myself into inpatient care.”

 

A/N: Okay, are you guys still following? I feel like I need to update this more regularly ^^ In general this part is somewhere in the middle. And bascially I have filled up most of the middle parts now (with how Jun ended up in hospital and in inpatient car. There is only one part missing. The rest will be about the BEFORE, when Jun and Sho/Ohno met, and even earlier. And when he met Ohno again and their following break-up.