yume_to_ame | (no subject)

lilly0 posting in

Title: Imbalance 16: Plead
Pairing: Sakumoto, Juntoshi
Rating: R
Genre: romance, somewhat angsty?
Plot: It's always been okay for him to be the person in a relationship who loves more.
Note: This is

akhikaru 's fault, and also

learashi , with their prompt tables and awesome drabble series <3 I've decided to treat this like a challenge. I'm using a prompt-table from lj, and will write these drabbles as they come to my mind, withoug planning anything in advance. It's going to be one story in the end, but the drabbles won't be posted in the correct timeline

01: Lively, 07: Cut, 13: Voice, 10: Hush, 11 Morals, 08 Compromise, 15 Lower, 04 Heavy, 05 Forward, 06 Prowl, 12 Engage, 02 Remorseful, 03 Dismiss, 09 Impulse, 14 Awkward, 16 Plead

Jun almost drops back in his apartment again when he sees Satoshi in front of him. “Satoshi-san,” he says in surprise while trying to go for an indifferent expression, ignoring how his heart races. “What are you doing here? Did I forget something in your apartment?”

“I said I want us to take some time off to think about what we are, but the reason I said it was because I didn’t want to scare you away or to pressure you,” Satoshi blurts out. “Not because I don’t want you around.”

Jun swallows. “Satoshi-san… but you…”

“I know I’m awful at expressing feelings and reacting and all!” he continues. “I wanted to give you space, I wanted to control all my emotions and feelings because I know what you went through. I didn’t want to become your second Sho.”

“Is that why you said you didn’t love me? That you aren’t in a relationship?” Jun frowns, his heart clenching when he remembers the moment that he wanted to surprise Satoshi at work, and accidentally eavesdropped on his talk. “I heard you talking to your old school friend. I remember him. And I could hear you clearly.”

“That’s not a friend, but the worst badmouthing jerk ever,” Ohno tells him. “I wanted him to fuck off as fast as possible. I was scared he would get on your nerves once he found out, just to get some juicy gossip. Which is why I told him that I’m neither in a relationship nor in love. I just wanted him to go.”

Jun stares at Ohno for a long while, his head spinning. What… what the hell is Ohno saying now? “Why?” he huffs angrily, not ready to accept that his recent breakup with Satoshi was just because of… that. “Why didn’t you tell me!? Why did you just let me go? I was just waiting for you to stop me or to say anything!”

Ohno looks down on the ground. “I told you, I didn’t want to become your second Sho. I wanted to give you time, and be understanding and all.” He looks sad all of a sudden. “I know Sho returned, I sometimes walk by your gallery just to see if you are alright, and I know it’s selfish, but seeing him makes me instantly nervous.”

“Satoshi-kun, I’m not going back to Sho just because he is here again,” Jun explains, surprised that Ohno knows so much and weirdly touched that he worried so much for him. “He is not that person for me anymore.” He pauses. “Satoshi-san, do you want me because you don’t want Sho to have me or do you want me… because of me?” It’s a question that always bothered Jun, he just never dared to ask it. He knows he is a person that gives his all in a relationship, who loves a bit too much, while the other might not love him equally. Maybe the way he loves so full heartedly is too scary for everyone else, maybe he does not deserve love. Simple as that. Satoshi was interested in him as a teen and student, but did he just want the toy Sho was playing with? Or did he truly like Jun?

Ohno looks at Jun directly, eyes wide in shock. “I’ve always wanted you. I’ve always liked you. Which is why I always hated Sho for having you and not treating you kindly. And then I had you and didn’t treat you right either.”

Jun leans his head against the door frame, his head spinning. “I’m feeling sick,” he mumbles, not able to process any more words Satoshi might tell him.

“What?” Ohno asks sadly. “Of me?”

“No, literally.” Jun coughs. He is surprised himself how his legs feel wobbly all of a sudden. He grips the door tighter.

Ohno grabs his arm immediately while Jun wavers dangerously. What the heck is happening?

A/N: I need a schedule for this, seriously! I always forget to update this story! I hope you guys are still with me ^^
This is the newest drabble in the timeline :-) It's the reason why Jun and Satoshi broke up, and why Satoshi didn't fight for Jun to stay.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

learashi

Oh. Ohno should have explained himself better before now.
He meant well but he obviously only caused Jun yet more confusion and pain.
Why is Jun suddenly so weak and dizzy?? Is he just overwhelmed or genuinely ill??
Yay for an update 💙

From:

lilly0

Indeed. Ohno should have explained himself better... also he is quite bad with timing. :-/
Nr. 17 is the direct follow-up to this drabble by the way. So, it won't remain a cliffy ^^
Thank so much for reading this! ♥

From:

akhikaru

I... don't believe Ohno, I'm sorry. It just sounds like something someone would say to justify himself and get forgiven.
And isn't it convenient that he decided to tell Jun this because a "threat" (not that Sho is a threat at all because I don't think Jun is interested in him anymore) appeared?
I'm skeptical.
I'm worried about Jun though D: What happened to him?
Thanks for the update ^^

From:

jheili

I believe ohno! I will believe him even if he is lying. Lmao.

From:

lilly0

It's really interesting what you say! I don't dare to comment on it, or I might be giving something away, but I can promise you Drabble Nr.17 (just posted) follows this one directly.
But we can definitely see that Ohno has no feeling for timing at all ><
Thanks sooo much for following this and reading and commenting! ♥

From:

jheili

I like that Ohno knows what he wants and that he is trying to reach out to Jun again. What I don’t like is that there needed to be a threat before he acted —he is like a boy who doesn’t wanna share his toys to others. Jun’s doubts about Ohno are valid.

Oh no Jun, i hope it’s not something serious.

Thanks for the update. :)

From:

lilly0

Ohhhhhh, I'm so happy to see you here! I thought no one is reading this!!
*huggles*
Ohno's motives will be clearer later on. The next drabble (just posted it) will make a few things clearer already <3
Thanks so much for your comment! ♥

From:

leiva21

Ah Ohno... what a little unnecessary mess he has created. He could've worded his words better. At least he came back to explain? I hope they'll get back together. And what happen to Jun now, is the sickness due to shock?

From:

lilly0

It really was a mess he created, but I can promise you that his insecurities and fears don't come from nowhere. It will probably be clearer a bit later...
Thanks so much for your lovely comment! ♥